11.20.09

Already Doomed

already-a-cake-face-copy-copy

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik this is Cassie Jo.  I am sure from the pics you can see that she has a mac forcefield, shes a sl*t, and a bit of an alcoholic (she carries around that flask everywhere she goes)…the best part about it is, she is only 18.  This girl can find any reason to sleep with a guy, he’s cute, he’s sweet, he’s nice, he’s hot, he’s strong, he’s really smart etc…Clearly she spends the whole day in front of the mirror, I don’t think I need to say more about that. She was dating a guy almost 10 years older then her when she was 15.  Nik this girl doomed..also why is she orange.

I look at her shark skin eyes and all I can think about is THIS VIDEO.- nik


Nik Richie

11.20.09

Caption Of The Day

words fail me

DIRTY ARMY, here is your beautiful picture for “Caption of the Day”.

Words Fail Me? Please be funny and not racist.

Winner of this Caption of the Day wins a DIRTY ARMY Shirt guy or girl!

dirtygearcapday

CLICK HERE TO SEE MORE GEAR

Last Caption (Click Here) Winner: +2’s

Welcome to the good life.


Nik Richie

11.20.09

Corporate Reject

Posted in Chicago, The Dirty

Corporate Reject

Corporate Reject

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, please welcome Fat Joe to the dirty. Where do I begin…he’s a 28 year old “corporate” reject. He claimes to make millions working at the Home Depot. Obviously all he can afford is a fake gold chain to match his yellow teeth….look at that grill. I would hate to have to make-out with him bc his huge nose would get in the way. I think he still may be a virgin.

Let me guess… he lives in his mom’s basement surfing porn all day.- nik


Nik Richie

11.20.09

To Greg Or Not To Greg?

Posted in Dallas, The Dirty

Greg?

Greg?

THE DIRTY ARMY: Peek a boo nik wanna see if i have a greg?

Can you imagine railing that? Just get the sex change already… the world will be a safer place.- nik


Nik Richie

11.20.09

Orange Is Not A Good Look

Posted in Charlotte, The Dirty

orange is not a good look

orange is not a good look

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I was checking out albums on facebook in which one of my friends was tagged, and came across this girl. From what Ive been told, she lays in the tanning bed religously, and it shows.

I don’t even want to know what she smells like?- nik


Nik Richie

11.20.09

Kyle Boller Falls For Miss Good Finger’s Lies

prejean_kruger_1-copy

Radar Online:  In between getting fired as Miss California, writing a book and admitting to a sex tape, Carrie Prejean has found time to fall in love. She has been dating professional football player Kyle Boller – the back up quarter back for the St. Louis Rams – and RadarOnline.com has the first photo of the two love birds.

In her book Still Standing, Carrie wrote the following dedication:

“To my Kyle: I am so blessed to have you in my life. You have shown me what love is. Thank you for supporting me through all this drama.  I knew when we met there was something so special about you.”

Kyle you are an ignoramus!  You better be sleeping with one eye open because that chick will stab you in your sleep.- nik


Nik Richie

11.20.09

Big Time Wanna Be

Posted in Dallas, The Dirty

Big time wanna be

Big time wanna be

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is P. Jones. or should i say “the b*tch who thinks shes the sh*t”? i have seen her out around the dallas club scene a lot and shes only almost 19?! 21&up bars are not a good start for this girl. I wonder, with an attitude like hers, if anyone is ever gunna put her in her place.. or if i should. what do you think Nik?

Can you imagine how big she is going to look at 21, she doesn’t even have a jaw line at 19?  I found out in Dallas there is no age limit for chicks, being 21 only applies to guys.  That is why the teen pregnancy rate is so high and why professional athletes love to play in Dallas.- nik


Nik Richie

11.20.09

Brina Brina Brina

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, sabrina is the sl*tty blonde. She likes to flaunt her ahhh goodies. what do you think Nik? would you put it on her?

There is really nothing to do in Portland is there?  I think because of the woods and rain up there it makes it easy for girls to go Lesbo.  Please send me more pics of Sabrina… ones where I can actually see her.- nik


Nik Richie

11.20.09

Kansas City Class

Kansas City Class

Kansas City Class

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik…sick of seeing the wash ups, the trolls and the shims. It’s time to play the trump card. Holly is a minor celeb who hosts a tv station here. I’m counting on you to play fair. I’ve put her under the mag glass and have come up empty for flaws.

Dude, like I tell everyone all the time… nobody wants to see a chick naked in their 30’s.  Especially, late 30’s like Holly.- nik


Nik Richie

11.20.09

Pull The String Tila Tequila

Posted in Hollywood, The Dirty

dirty_phpc076kf-copy

dirty_phpu4c1d3-copy

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik - it’s your favorite smeller, rocking the tampon. That’s some nasty dim sum. DA, b*tches!

I didn’t know Ustream allowed porn on their website?- nik


Nik Richie

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+2 Factor: when a chick gets a boob job it increases her value two points on a ten point scale

+2's: fake boobs

30k Milli: a guy who claims he make millions, but really only make around $30k a year and spends all his money on stuff he can't afford; a poser

6 head (5 head): when a person has a enormous forehead (measured in inches)

Affliction: a brand of clothing worn by losers

Afro-Brow: hairy eyebrows

Air biscuit: fart

Anti-petite: no way near small

Aquaf*gs: underwater f*gs

Babushka: a big giant, Harlem Globetrotter-like afro, that explodes out of the panties of a Crabby Patty when panty security has been breached

Beak: Nose like a large bird

Beat: disgustingly ugly

Bissues: b*tch with issues

Blanimal: A black animal

Blast (putting someone on blast): putting someone in the spotlight and/or exposing them; talking crap about someone

Bucket Seats: nice ass

Butterface: everything looks good, but her face

Cadirack: not easy on the eyes, an eye sore

Caker: chick who wears way too much makeup

Cannibal: a lesbian. Because they eat their own kind

Car-Tastrophe: beat looking people in a car

Ceptor head: looks good except her head

Cheesecake: real fruity guy

Chubble: problems fat people cause.

Combustible Cougar: horny for young men

Combustible face: Hazardous look

Cougar in Training (Baby Cougar): a girl who will grow up to be a Cougar because her mom is one and/or she is starting to look and act like one

Cougars: women who are 40 or older who try to be 20 (by getting plastic surgery, wearing tons of makeup, dressing like they are 20, etc) and usually date or "prey" on younger men

Cougar-Troll: an ugly cougar

Cougarville: place where cougars come from

Cougarwood: place where famous cougars go

Cougrrrr: Very ugly cougar

Count gutula: big stomach

Crabby Patty: p*ssy

Crash test dummy: a dumb friend that you can convince to do anything

Dale Boy (Dales): a guy who claims to be straight but acts like he's gay (or really is just gay)

D-Bagalicious: sensational D-bag

D-Bag: Douche bag; someone who sucks at life; a total jerk

Dirty Army: the group of people who are fans of thedirty.com

Dirty Bird: dirty/sl*tty British chick

Don: a young female gold digger looking for a new wealthy father or sugar daddy

Douchetard: douche + retard

Drag Hag: someone who hangs with drag queens

DSL's: D*ck sucking lips

Dugout Driller: aggressive gay guy

Egg Roll(s): fat Asians

F*gadocious: super gay

F*gtastic: overly gay

F*gtician: professional f*gs

Fake SGM: people who are not in the Scissor Gang Mafia but pretend to be by giving the scissor gang sign in pictures (and NIk will point out the reason why they are not cool enough to be in it)

Fanny Pack's : beat girls that have no appeal

Farm: a person's ass

Fattastrophe: group of very fat people

Fifty cake mistake: big girl who loves cake

Fifty Yarder: only looks good from fifty yards away

File You Away: putting a hot guy/girl (whatever works for ya) in your mental hard drive so you can masturbate to them later

Flesbian: Fake lesbian

Forgy: Short for, "For the gays"

Frat Rat: a girl who loves to hang out with and/or screw guys in fraternities

Freetard: a free retard

Front Grill: teeth

F*ck Trophy: baby/kid..."What bout that chick you met at the club the other night, did you hit that?" "Naw she's got a f*ck trophy."

Fugly: f*cking ugly

FUPA: a fat upper pu**y area. Men can have it too.

Gaysian: a gay Asian.

Gestappo's : those who oppose the dirty army

Gills: side fat; love-handles

Grave Diggaz: dirty nails

Grazer: chick that likes to eat a lot

Green Bay: cellulite; cottage cheese

Gregalicious: Owns a greg

Greg-Juice: self explanatory

Greg: penis; tummy stick

Helmet Special: retard

Himstitute: tranny prostitute

Hoemerican: an American hoe

Horses (or any reference to a horse, stable, the derby, races or horse names): people with huge teeth and gums that resemble those of a horse

Insurgents: non SGM perpetrator/ enemies of the army

Jack Bauer: a person with a large fore head or a twenty forehead

Jay Leno: got a big chin

Kodiak: body of a bear

Lee push up bra: from the makers of lee press on nails

Long Head Clan: horse division ( horse head)

Lotto Baby: unknown father (a lot-of people hit that)

MAC Forcefield: tons and tons of makeup that looks clown-like

Mad Monkey: extremely drunk & out of control

Mick Jagger's : Big lips

Muffin Top: when a person's side or stomach fat bubbles over their waistband because their pants are too tight, forming the shape of a muffin

Multichin: multiple chins

Multi-Gregging: Gang bang on one chick

Nominee: person with no money

Nomo's: a place where no homo's are welcome

Noodles: referring to Asian people or descent

Nostrildahmus: Huge nose pipes

Onion: nice a$$

Oscar Myer: Got a Greg

Pack of franks: fat rolls on a chicks body..."Damn! look at the pack of franks on that chic"

Paki house/hut: liquor store

Patch Adams: balding

Pearl catcher: chicks who get c*mmed on

Pebbles: an attractive, yet underage and overly sexual young girl. (aka jailbait)

Pepperidge Farm: way too old

PGM ("Pinky Gang Mafia"): the rival gang of SGM whose members show their pinky finger when having a picture taken

Pickle Smoocher: rubs the Greg

Pig Fishing: guys who are out to just f*ck anything

Pirate: gay dude. Because they like semen on their poop deck

Poon lagoon: pu**y

Prop 8: gay person who wants to get married

Prosthetic Playa: fake wanna be player

Puffydumbbell: roid user

Purple Crayon: A black man's Gregr

Raisinets: ugly nipples

Red Cup Nation: those of us who agree that only red plastic cups should be used at parties (because all other colors are stupid)

Refund Gap: the huge gap between some women's fake boobs that is so big that they should get their money back from their doctor

Ronald Mcdonalds: High arching eyebrows

RVM: red vest mafia: Valet attendant

Sevenhead: means "Yes I ride the Short Bus!"

Sewerfront: Waterfront in Scottsdale

SGM ("Scissor Gang Mafia"): people who make a scissor/backward peace sign when having their picture taken

She-Boys: Trannys

Shim: a girl who looks like a man

Shimspital: hospital for shims

Shman: female type of man

Shopping Bags: droopy boob job or +2'S

Shotgun: a slutty chick. One cock and she's ready to blow

Shougar: a girl that is a cougar and a shim

Skankaholic: addicted to or being a skank; likes skanky chicks; an alcoholic skank

Ski Jumper: big or long nose

Slant F*cker: guy who only likes f*ckin asian chicks

Slim Slow Diet: a fat person who feels it necessary to show people her body..."Sick, see that fat girl in the bikini? Oh, she is feeling good about herself since she just got on the Slim Slow Diet."

Sloon: a chick that looks like she's mixed with snake lizard and baboon

Slug: Ugly slut

Snicker Licker: White girls who only like black guys

Soldier: a member of the Dirty Army; a fan/supporter of thedirty.com

Sorostitute: a girl in a sorority that is easier than a prostitute

Sphere Job: a boob job

Spongebob: a nasty female that has a crabby patty instead of a vagina

A Stallone: a really ugly Italian chick (or any chick for that matter)

Stay Puff: juice-muscular guy obviously on roids

Stretch Armstrong: face lift too tight

Sugar butt: a gay guy

Summer Teeth: some are here, some are there

Superhighway Gap: boobs miles apart

Synchronized Sucking : what aqua f*gs do

Talons: ugly toes

Tenderfoot: gay or feminine

Thunderstorm: extremely large thighs; thunder thighs

Too Fat Shakur:2-pac fat reference

Top Romin : a person that is broke

Tranimal: animal tranny

Tranny: a girl with so much makeup caked on her face that she looks like a transvestite

Tri-Tip: she can try the tip

Troff Feeder: an obese female

Trout: an older man who dates younger women in trying to be younger or "swim upstream"

Trout Mouth: looks like a fish

Tuna Factory: chick who has nasty lookin p*ssy lips..."That chicks gotta tuna factory goin on down there."

Unbeweavable: lots of weave

WNBA: a tall female who is manly

Would You?: means "would you screw this chick?"