BROCK’S CHICK


Name: Brock’s Chick
Orientation: Female
Favorite food: Doesn’t believe in food.
Born: On the Internet
Favorite animal: Private Jets
Hobbies: Looking in Mirror

So I really had to dust this old record off, but I found it. Brock Landers a nomad warrior I met in a dream once wanted to be a blog writer for Dirty Scottsdale and he was on a mission to find his chick. Brock if you are out their my friend please come home to the Dirty.- nik

The Legend of Brock’s Chick (and the reason that is her name):

As I wrote in my first post, every once in awhile I will post a picture of a foxy lady who resides in Scottsdale. I requested submissions from the DS readers, and thanks to all of your emails, I received a whopping zero pictures. Jesus…I almost feel like the kid who eats paste in elementary school…almost.

Fortunately, after spending a night sitting on my couch, in the dark, with a bottle of whiskey, rhythmically flicking the switch on my table side lamp on and off, I remembered that I had the entire DS picture vault at my disposal. Flush with this realization, and coupled with the fact that I have a king-sized ego that can overcome any emotional setbacks, I poured through the numerous pictures on file at the DS headquarters and found the first lady worthy of some recognition.

This girl seems awfully popular since DS has received tons of pictures of her and she’s all over the worldwide Internets. Obviously this girl friggin loves to be photographed–it’s like crack to her. In fact, I’m fairly certain that she purposefully runs red lights so she can get her picture taken by the red light cameras.

Because of this, I was a little hesitant to choose her as my first foxy lady of Scottsdale. And, truth be told, I’m more of a brunette guy, so blonds have to be all the more stunning to gain my attention and admiration. That being said, this lady definitely passed the rigorous requirements that this site sets forth, and she is definitely foxy. See for yourself:

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I think she looks smart. I imagine us sitting around debating the modern implications of Sun Tzu’s teachings in “The Art of War,” except replace the first part of this sentence with “tickle fighting while listening to Kelly Clarkson” and you get a gist of the message I’m trying to convey.

Unfortunately, such dreams will never happen because we will never be able to date. The Arizona legislature recently passed a bill that forbids me and this young lady from being an item because we’re too good looking. The debate surrounding this bill was very heated because our classic good looks are polarizing, but I understand they’re line of thinking. If we were to be seen together, our level of attractiveness would be a combined 142–and that’s on a scale of 1-to-5. There is a distinct possibility that persons in the general public would keel over and die from being inundated with such a high level of concentrated beauty. So, for the good of the public health, it is probably better if this lovely lady and I stay apart. I think we both deserve some sort of medal.

Latro,

Brock

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160 Dirty Comments

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  1. April 23, 2010 at 11:06 pm

    wrong says:

    not WEST Virginia. Virginia. Just plain Virginia. Her mom is a thief and a liar. I think she’s even done time. This poor girl doesn’t stand much of a chance at a normal life since she’s grown up around nothing but lies. How do I know? Very close friend of her family. So pathetic.

    Reply to wrong
  2. April 28, 2010 at 5:17 am

    na na na says:

    If you’re a friend of the family what is her real name or better yet, just give initials! Her family is pathetic and she is the sorriest piece of ass I ever had! She just laid there which means she’s been plucked so many times that she’s completely used to it.

    Reply to na na na
  3. April 29, 2010 at 6:15 pm

    Anonymous says:

    Who’s that nate guy elle used to date? Like his last name? I’ve got 3 requests with his pictures. One says wilson and the other 2 say eckerson?

    Reply to Anonymous
  4. April 29, 2010 at 6:23 pm

    Anonymous says:

    What is that nate kids last name that dated elle?

    Reply to Anonymous
  5. June 3, 2010 at 2:21 pm

    Sad to say says:

    BC is the biggest photoshop scam known to man.

    Reply to Sad to say
  6. June 3, 2010 at 2:27 pm

    Anonymous says:

    I’ve seen this chick on facebook. Brittany Ma**lli, she added me but I deleted her. Said she worked for Maxim. Not sure if it was really her though

    Reply to Anonymous
  7. June 3, 2010 at 4:08 pm

    Giggle says:

    lol staci cole (internet) or staci gonzales (real)

    Reply to Giggle
  8. August 12, 2010 at 2:04 pm

    Ben Quayle says:

    Man, who wrote this? Its full of typoes!

    Reply to Ben Quayle
  9. August 12, 2010 at 4:06 pm

    Dan Quayle says:

    Whoever wrote this should get that girl some crabs. Too skinny. She needs a couple potatoes.

    Reply to Dan Quayle
  10. August 14, 2010 at 7:37 am

    George W. Bush says:

    POTATOE!

    Reply to George W. Bush
  11. August 14, 2010 at 8:24 am

    Obama says:

    Howdy Mr Politician! Hows that traffic drive goin for ya?

    I like tits too, I should vote for this guy.

    Reply to Obama
  12. August 14, 2010 at 8:27 am

    Obama says:

    Poor Arizona used to have so many hot mexican girls, but alas, no more. Just empty blond cnt wrappers now.

    Reply to Obama
  13. September 9, 2010 at 5:25 am

    CORY says:

    YEA IDK THERES A FAKE OR MAYBE BE HER IDK BUT SUPOSLBY IM HER FIANCE OR SOME SH@# LIKE THAT IDK THANK SHES A FAKE sayes her name is cami castleberry at mossyoak@textnow.me

    Reply to CORY
  14. September 14, 2010 at 2:36 pm

    punchy says:

    This is really Ben Quayle’s page. I think its funny how politicians like to lie to the public and pretend they dont look at hot girls on the internet all day, while talking bad about them. Hell, if youd only just stop lying about it, Id still vote for you!

    Reply to punchy
  15. October 17, 2010 at 5:59 pm

    I know her name says:

    Her name is Staci Cole.

    Reply to I know her name
  16. November 28, 2010 at 6:34 pm

    Anonymous says:

    I’m so tired of the fake tits caked up makeup and fried hair…. It’s so boring! I want to see a natural beauty, a diamond in the rough is more precious that a diamond made in a lab…

    Reply to Anonymous
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    movie news says:

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  19. October 11, 2011 at 9:55 pm

    Ranessa says:

    Such a deep asnewr! GD&RVVF

    Reply to Ranessa
  20. November 1, 2011 at 1:38 am

    Just Some Random says:

    OMG! i remember her when she was JOHNMAYERBAB on facethejury. she hasn’t aged. lol.

    Reply to Just Some Random
  21. November 1, 2011 at 10:58 am

    Anonymous says:

    WHATS this chicks real name? and since shes so famous why isnt she trying to be the biggest sell out like KIM K and actually make some money off being a camera whore

    Reply to Anonymous
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    thanks for the good work

    Reply to Norbert Mcdougle
  26. December 23, 2011 at 8:02 pm

    Lenny Lovelady says:

    It’s wrong for the director/p-roducer to cut to him like that. They obviously have monitors in the control room and can see he’s taking a fiesta. And for the the anchors to carry on mocking the poor guy for at least 5 minutes is really unprofessi-onal and childish.wow gold

    Reply to Lenny Lovelady
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  30. January 6, 2012 at 12:19 pm

    Confused person!! says:

    Geez I’m so confused!! This girl isn’t from Louisiana? I’m friends with her on Facebook and she has like legit friends and all these pictures…. I don’t get how none o her friends say anything. A lot them claim to hang out with her to but why don’t any of them ask why all her pictures are fake?! This is f*cking nuts!

    Reply to Confused person!!
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  32. January 25, 2012 at 9:11 am

    steve says:

    Staci Cole was her name but now shes married its Gonzales

    seriously think people.

    Reply to steve
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