Name: Brock’s Chick
Favorite food: Doesn’t believe in food.
Born: On the Internet
Favorite animal: Private Jets
Hobbies: Looking in Mirror
So I really had to dust this old record off, but I found it. Brock Landers a nomad warrior I met in a dream once wanted to be a blog writer for Dirty Scottsdale and he was on a mission to find his chick. Brock if you are out their my friend please come home to the Dirty.- nik
The Legend of Brock’s Chick (and the reason that is her name):
As I wrote in my first post, every once in awhile I will post a picture of a foxy lady who resides in Scottsdale. I requested submissions from the DS readers, and thanks to all of your emails, I received a whopping zero pictures. Jesus…I almost feel like the kid who eats paste in elementary school…almost.
Fortunately, after spending a night sitting on my couch, in the dark, with a bottle of whiskey, rhythmically flicking the switch on my table side lamp on and off, I remembered that I had the entire DS picture vault at my disposal. Flush with this realization, and coupled with the fact that I have a king-sized ego that can overcome any emotional setbacks, I poured through the numerous pictures on file at the DS headquarters and found the first lady worthy of some recognition.
This girl seems awfully popular since DS has received tons of pictures of her and she’s all over the worldwide Internets. Obviously this girl friggin loves to be photographed–it’s like crack to her. In fact, I’m fairly certain that she purposefully runs red lights so she can get her picture taken by the red light cameras.
Because of this, I was a little hesitant to choose her as my first foxy lady of Scottsdale. And, truth be told, I’m more of a brunette guy, so blonds have to be all the more stunning to gain my attention and admiration. That being said, this lady definitely passed the rigorous requirements that this site sets forth, and she is definitely foxy. See for yourself:
I think she looks smart. I imagine us sitting around debating the modern implications of Sun Tzu’s teachings in “The Art of War,” except replace the first part of this sentence with “tickle fighting while listening to Kelly Clarkson” and you get a gist of the message I’m trying to convey.
Unfortunately, such dreams will never happen because we will never be able to date. The Arizona legislature recently passed a bill that forbids me and this young lady from being an item because we’re too good looking. The debate surrounding this bill was very heated because our classic good looks are polarizing, but I understand they’re line of thinking. If we were to be seen together, our level of attractiveness would be a combined 142–and that’s on a scale of 1-to-5. There is a distinct possibility that persons in the general public would keel over and die from being inundated with such a high level of concentrated beauty. So, for the good of the public health, it is probably better if this lovely lady and I stay apart. I think we both deserve some sort of medal.