Fish Swims Into Boy’s Penis
Posted in Dirty News, London, The Dirty | September 18th, 2008
THE SUN: A FISH swam the wrong way when it leapt upstream into a boy’s PENIS and ended up in his BLADDER. The 2cm daredevil caused all kinds of medical problems when it swam through the teenager’s urethra.
The unfortunate lad was taken to hospital with complaints of pain, dribbling urine and acute urinary retention. He claimed the fish slipped into his penis while he was cleaning his aquarium at home in India.
Since I read this story I have been holding my Greg in fear. WTF?- nik
Medium Pimpin says:
Is this like the new replacement for hampster?
to Medium PimpinGaetano says:
Fish are for the gays.
to Gaetanohahaha says:
Was he cleaning his aquarium with his Greg?
to hahahaJimmy Neutron says:
I have a friend named Dave who had a similar incident, except his involved his rectum and a gerbil. It seems that the gerbil wouldnt’ stop scratching its cage so he taped it up with electrical tape, but somehow the gerbil escaped his page and crawled into his rectum as he slept.
He had to go to Hoag for class II narcotics and counseling.
to Jimmy NeutronBmore says:
That little freak put the fish in his wee-wee…seriously who holds a fish while they’re p*ssing. weirdo.
to BmoreDrewBreesWay says:
I would believe it if the fish is The Legendary “Fish Lips” Shea Lynn…
to DrewBreesWayRambo says:
yea, leaches will do this too if you are in the amazon waters and take a piss. they are attracted to the warmth and will swim right up you greg.
to Rambocougar hunter says:
why would you hold a fish while taking a piss?
to cougar hunterD-rock says:
Yeah….”cleaning his aquarium”…..kinda like cleaning my gerbil cage and whoops!
to D-rockRocket Queen says:
what happened to the fish?
to Rocket QueenJack says:
You moron
The Sun ?
they are worse than the national enquirer
that story is a fake
to JackJON GLUCK says:
thats it?? ive had bananas in mine.. whats your pont?
to JON GLUCKburrito bandito says:
isn’t 2cm like an inch?
to burrito banditomaybe its just me but i think i would notice if a 1″ long fish decided to swim up my gregory.
LTS says:
As this story is posted on an intellectual internet site, certainly it must be true. Yawn.
to LTSOG Denver says:
Damn…poor fish!! ;=)
to OG DenverBead headed woolly bugger says:
The candiru, also called the carnero fish, is a tiny parasitic catfish that inhabits the waters of South America. They can reach lengths of 1-2.5 in (2.5-6 cm) with a width of 3.5 mm. Their diminutive size and nearly transparent body makes them very hard to locate (not that you would want to). The candiru has sharp bones with a series of spines located around the head used while feeding.
HABITAT
The candiru is found only in the Amazon and Oranoco Rivers of South America. They do not like the sun and tend to burry themselves in the mud and sand of the river bottom underneath logs and rocks.
FOOD
The candiru has a voracious appetite for blood and will parasitize fish, mammals, and humans. One scientist, while holding a candiru, accidently let it enter a small cut on his hand. It could be seen writhing under the skin towards the vein.
To find a fish, the candiru first tastes the water, trying to locate a water stream that is coming from the gills of a fish. Once such a stream is detected, the candiru follows the stream to its new host and inserts itself inside the gill flap. Spines around its head then pierce the scales of the fish and draws blood while anchoring the candiru in place. The candiru then feeds on the blood by using its mouth as a slurping apparatus and while rasping the long teeth on its top jaw.
When candirus parasitize humans, it is usually only when they are skinny-dipping while urinating in the water. The candiru tastes the urine stream and follows it back to the human. It then swims up the anus and lodges itself somewhere in the urinary tract with its spines. Blood is drawn, and the candiru gorges itself on both the blood and body tissue, its body sometimes expanding due to the amount of blood. This is all said to be very painful for the poor person who has this happen to him or her. Unfortunately, they are almost impossible to remove due to the spines. Amputation of the private areas is the cheapest, and most life-changing, way to remove the fish. Actual surgery is extremely exp
to Bead headed woolly bugger