THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, Word on the street is P was living in a cave somewhere in the Middle East on a journey of self discovery. He is back in Scottsdale now more focused than every to become famous. This guy is too good looking Nik, it’s just not fair for anyone to stand next to him. It would be like Danny Devito standing next to the statue of Michaelango. I have witnessed at least three fender benders from girls staring at him as he walked down Indian School Rd. Once while he was walking a photo radar was tripped due to his good looks reflecting in the lens of the camera. P thought it was TMZ and started handing black and white signed glossy’s to passerbyers. When he noticed TMZ was not there he told people that a True Hollywood Story was being done on him and part of the premise of the new season was to take suprise pictures of celebrities in their natural state.

I have never seen a man who could fluctuate in weight more than P-Nazi.- nik