New Addition To The Dirty Office?

So Merlin has been on the search for interns here at TheDirty.com… this girl submitted her resume with the attached picture. Merlin says on paper she is not qualified enough, but I am trying to explain to Merlin that she is over qualified and maybe I should just advance her to a stronger position. Merlin just doesn’t get it?

Dirty Comments
80 Responses to “New Addition To The Dirty Office?”
… as long as she know’s her place…
- chef -
-crimking-
Medium Pimpin (I go hard in the paint) Reply:
July 14th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
What up Chef Pimpin - Funny to run into you the other night.
look at her creepster, like she just dug out of a trench, hands
Would like to see a not airbrushed lingerie or bikini pic before I vote.
One thing is for sure, that’s a nice choice of bra and looks like those boobies don’t sag at all.
photoshop is for liars and she has a butter face
SERIOUSLY WHAT TYPE OF QUALIFICATIONS DO YOU HAVE TO HAVE TO WORK @ THE DIRTY………U GET PICTURES AND TALK SH** ON PPL…….NOT THAT HARD…….AND SHE IS JUST ANOTHER BLONDE BIMBO WHO WONT GET A JOB ANYWHERE ELSE ESPECIALLY WHEN U SUBMIT A PICTURE WITH YOUR RESUME…….WTF? HOT MESS
not even hot nik…I hope the dirty doesent turn into the new playboy.
No +2. Man Hands. Eyebrows for days, but whatever Nik wants….
hire her as merlins replacement, that’ll show him
Thats quite a photo to attach with resume… I say hire her just to see what she walks in looking like on her first day.
I would hire her for an hour and see what she can do under your desk other than spray pledge. She’s qualified for that, but of course merlin wouldn’t know because she is a female.
So who got fired? Kaden? Jaden? Coug?
all these chicks you’ve been posting in the last day look fake…literally. I think someone is messing with you guys and submitting fake chicks.
Photo shop is for LIARS, remember Nik??? And you ALWAYS seem to notice nasty hands, but missed this time. I think you might be coming down with something…
If she’s going to actually do work, she has to have the necessary skills to perform the tasks. If Nik is just looking for eye candy, ignore Merlin. I wouldn’t hire her unless she is truly qualified to do the job, not just qualified to sit around and look hot (which she is).
Hire her, so she could suck on your greg. Fo Sho….
Tell Merlin by the looks of her picture she wasn’t applying to actually do any work… What kind of no self-esteem sk*nk sends a resume like this? So, Nik would you? That seems to be all she wants anyway
Please give her the job.. Id love to see the solo girls sh*t their panties
Hopefully them other two girls are getting canned because they suck. I would maybe keep Kaden but Jaden would be bounced. Nik i honestly think you should hire someone who needs a job, not just someone looking to play famous web girl.
How the f*ck can you not be qualified to work at the dirty? I must have missed the post that made you guys geniuses…
ugh..stop proving that the people in our country are the dumbest sh*ts ever..Idiocracy will soon be a very true! (rent the movie and you will see your future)
Thanks Nik for keeping dumb alive!
CHEF Reply:
July 17th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
… “Oh, my balls!”
…
“It has electolytes, that’s what plants want…”
- chef -
-crimking-
Nik - it is very obvious that you stole your business plan from 944. Hiring interns, and trying to smash them. Guess what - that makes you as much of a clown as any. Hypocrite.
Nik she is beat, I’m disappointed. Those cheekbones are sharp enough to put out an eye. She’s also dressed like a man and looks like a f*cking alien. I vote NO.
Nik Have you lost your touch? This girl is completely photoshopped and airbrushed. I bet this girl is at least 50 lb. heavier and no boobs. Her shirt even looks fake, has huge man hands, uniboob, and the angle of her elbow and forearm on her right arm looks unnatural.
very professional Reply:
July 14th, 2009 at 5:17 pm
Isn’t she also a bit too old to be an intern? She looks like she’s a bit past her prime. Everything is going to be sagging soon.
I am going to have a bunch of beat beezies and dudes who are REALLY overqualified, send in their resumes with photos attached, so I can lead a class-action lawsuit against the dirty.
those shoulders put hillary duff to shame. maybe even dwight howard
No way man, im sensing a refund gap, man hands, and it looks like she went in the ring with Tyson and the only thing he didnt punch was her Hackjob of a nose.
She is decent looking but why would she want to actually ‘intern’ at thedirty? Girls who make fun of other girls for their employment must have major issues.
its ok MERLIN must be new to working.. he doesn’t know yet that girls that give your greg a tug or wake up get the job….sexyness/good looks always works if your under qualified..
-keep it moist
photoshop…..it looks like an oil painting it’s so fake
…Sup
… I was actually suprised on how many ladies were out that night
… Ended it @ Corleone’s
…Oh… Pool Party this Saturday in Chandler
… Budlight, Monster, Dos Gringos, 3D Revolution, & Power 98.3 will be there…
Hit me up for details…
- chef -
-crimking-
20K-MILLIONAIRE Reply:
July 16th, 2009 at 4:36 am
YU SAY POWER 98.3,,, WOW DEF SHOOTING GOING TO HAPPEN.. I DIDNT DECIDE I KNOW..
something is wrong with her face.
She kinda has goldfish poppy eyes,crab claw hands, and weird
inflatable/deflatable type +2’s.
We’ve seen what kind of man trolls you keep up in that filthy office. Way over qualified and she knows it.
She is FUGLAY. 7 head, cheeks are all the way from west to east, i can’t believe Nik a.k.a. Hooman is such a idiot dickhead. I am never coming back to this joke site.
Hells no! Her face and hands look weathered! The dirty could do so much better! Btw, she needs to lipo those cheeks and transfer that fat to her a** because it looks as tho she’s def. lacking in that department!
Hire her. You can never too many hot chicks pick up your laundry, buy your coffee, or sit around reading US Magazine all day.
Hire her she is way prettier than your other assistants they are f*cking horridly ugly
she has an awesome pair of assets………what more do you need ?
thats some hardcore photoshop…but who knows…give her a one week trial on webcam and let the dirty army vote after that…
white women are so damn fake,, those big ole hard fake boobs look .like hell! plastic wax ass b*tch!!
Her nose is a little pointy and who takes pictures with nice office clothes with the top unbuttoned half way and a lace bra showing… Scream Sk*nk and hungry for attention to me… Nik get a girl with looks and brains who doesnt want to sell her body
So did you hire her or what? And who tapped that first??
I HER RESUME IT SHOULD SAY HOW MANY INCHES SHE CAN TAKE IN THE MOUTH.. VERY GOOD TO KNOW IF YOUR UNDER QUALIFIED.. IVE DECIDED..
-KEEP IT MOIST
hell no nik…hire someone with a degree…not silicone maybe it will make your website more valuable…not more volumptuous
The primary qualification is that you sleep with Merlin. Hense why it’s mostly men and very few women. The ones around are homely or the good looking ones only make fine end tables nothing more.
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+2 Factor: when a chick gets a boob job it increases her value two points on a ten point scale
+2's: fake boobs
30k Milli: a guy who claims he make millions, but really only make around $30k a year and spends all his money on stuff he can't afford; a poser
6 head (5 head): when a person has a enormous forehead (measured in inches)
Affliction: a brand of clothing worn by losers
Afro-Brow: hairy eyebrows
Air biscuit: fart
Anti-petite: no way near small
Aquaf*gs: underwater f*gs
Babushka: a big giant, Harlem Globetrotter-like afro, that explodes out of the panties of a Crabby Patty when panty security has been breached
Beak: Nose like a large bird
Beat: disgustingly ugly
Bissues: b*tch with issues
Blanimal: A black animal
Blast (putting someone on blast): putting someone in the spotlight and/or exposing them; talking crap about someone
Bucket Seats: nice ass
Butterface: everything looks good, but her face
Cadirack: not easy on the eyes, an eye sore
Caker: chick who wears way too much makeup
Cannibal: a lesbian. Because they eat their own kind
Car-Tastrophe: beat looking people in a car
Ceptor head: looks good except her head
Cheesecake: real fruity guy
Chubble: problems fat people cause.
Combustible Cougar: horny for young men
Combustible face: Hazardous look
Cougar in Training (Baby Cougar): a girl who will grow up to be a Cougar because her mom is one and/or she is starting to look and act like one
Cougars: women who are 40 or older who try to be 20 (by getting plastic surgery, wearing tons of makeup, dressing like they are 20, etc) and usually date or "prey" on younger men
Cougar-Troll: an ugly cougar
Cougarville: place where cougars come from
Cougarwood: place where famous cougars go
Cougrrrr: Very ugly cougar
Count gutula: big stomach
Crabby Patty: p*ssy
Crash test dummy: a dumb friend that you can convince to do anything
Dale Boy (Dales): a guy who claims to be straight but acts like he's gay (or really is just gay)
D-Bagalicious: sensational D-bag
D-Bag: Douche bag; someone who sucks at life; a total jerk
Dirty Army: the group of people who are fans of thedirty.com
Dirty Bird: dirty/sl*tty British chick
Don: a young female gold digger looking for a new wealthy father or sugar daddy
Douchetard: douche + retard
Drag Hag: someone who hangs with drag queens
DSL's: D*ck sucking lips
Dugout Driller: aggressive gay guy
Egg Roll(s): fat Asians
F*gadocious: super gay
F*gtastic: overly gay
F*gtician: professional f*gs
Fake SGM: people who are not in the Scissor Gang Mafia but pretend to be by giving the scissor gang sign in pictures (and NIk will point out the reason why they are not cool enough to be in it)
Fanny Pack's : beat girls that have no appeal
Farm: a person's ass
Fattastrophe: group of very fat people
Fifty cake mistake: big girl who loves cake
Fifty Yarder: only looks good from fifty yards away
File You Away: putting a hot guy/girl (whatever works for ya) in your mental hard drive so you can masturbate to them later
Flesbian: Fake lesbian
Forgy: Short for, "For the gays"
Frat Rat: a girl who loves to hang out with and/or screw guys in fraternities
Freetard: a free retard
Front Grill: teeth
F*ck Trophy: baby/kid..."What bout that chick you met at the club the other night, did you hit that?" "Naw she's got a f*ck trophy."
Fugly: f*cking ugly
FUPA: a fat upper pu**y area. Men can have it too.
Gaysian: a gay Asian.
Gestappo's : those who oppose the dirty army
Gills: side fat; love-handles
Grave Diggaz: dirty nails
Grazer: chick that likes to eat a lot
Green Bay: cellulite; cottage cheese
Gregalicious: Owns a greg
Greg-Juice: self explanatory
Greg: penis; tummy stick
Helmet Special: retard
Himstitute: tranny prostitute
Hoemerican: an American hoe
Horses (or any reference to a horse, stable, the derby, races or horse names): people with huge teeth and gums that resemble those of a horse
Insurgents: non SGM perpetrator/ enemies of the army
Jack Bauer: a person with a large fore head or a twenty forehead
Jay Leno: got a big chin
Kodiak: body of a bear
Lee push up bra: from the makers of lee press on nails
Long Head Clan: horse division ( horse head)
Lotto Baby: unknown father (a lot-of people hit that)
MAC Forcefield: tons and tons of makeup that looks clown-like
Mad Monkey: extremely drunk & out of control
Mick Jagger's : Big lips
Muffin Top: when a person's side or stomach fat bubbles over their waistband because their pants are too tight, forming the shape of a muffin
Multichin: multiple chins
Multi-Gregging: Gang bang on one chick
Nominee: person with no money
Nomo's: a place where no homo's are welcome
Noodles: referring to Asian people or descent
Nostrildahmus: Huge nose pipes
Onion: nice a$$
Oscar Myer: Got a Greg
Pack of franks: fat rolls on a chicks body..."Damn! look at the pack of franks on that chic"
Paki house/hut: liquor store
Patch Adams: balding
Pearl catcher: chicks who get c*mmed on
Pebbles: an attractive, yet underage and overly sexual young girl. (aka jailbait)
Pepperidge Farm: way too old
PGM ("Pinky Gang Mafia"): the rival gang of SGM whose members show their pinky finger when having a picture taken
Pickle Smoocher: rubs the Greg
Pig Fishing: guys who are out to just f*ck anything
Pirate: gay dude. Because they like semen on their poop deck
Poon lagoon: pu**y
Prop 8: gay person who wants to get married
Prosthetic Playa: fake wanna be player
Puffydumbbell: roid user
Purple Crayon: A black man's Gregr
Raisinets: ugly nipples
Red Cup Nation: those of us who agree that only red plastic cups should be used at parties (because all other colors are stupid)
Refund Gap: the huge gap between some women's fake boobs that is so big that they should get their money back from their doctor
Ronald Mcdonalds: High arching eyebrows
RVM: red vest mafia: Valet attendant
Sevenhead: means "Yes I ride the Short Bus!"
Sewerfront: Waterfront in Scottsdale
SGM ("Scissor Gang Mafia"): people who make a scissor/backward peace sign when having their picture taken
She-Boys: Trannys
Shim: a girl who looks like a man
Shimspital: hospital for shims
Shman: female type of man
Shopping Bags: droopy boob job or +2'S
Shotgun: a slutty chick. One cock and she's ready to blow
Shougar: a girl that is a cougar and a shim
Skankaholic: addicted to or being a skank; likes skanky chicks; an alcoholic skank
Ski Jumper: big or long nose
Slant F*cker: guy who only likes f*ckin asian chicks
Slim Slow Diet: a fat person who feels it necessary to show people her body..."Sick, see that fat girl in the bikini? Oh, she is feeling good about herself since she just got on the Slim Slow Diet."
Sloon: a chick that looks like she's mixed with snake lizard and baboon
Slug: Ugly slut
Snicker Licker: White girls who only like black guys
Soldier: a member of the Dirty Army; a fan/supporter of thedirty.com
Sorostitute: a girl in a sorority that is easier than a prostitute
Sphere Job: a boob job
Spongebob: a nasty female that has a crabby patty instead of a vagina
A Stallone: a really ugly Italian chick (or any chick for that matter)
Stay Puff: juice-muscular guy obviously on roids
Stretch Armstrong: face lift too tight
Sugar butt: a gay guy
Summer Teeth: some are here, some are there
Superhighway Gap: boobs miles apart
Synchronized Sucking : what aqua f*gs do
Talons: ugly toes
Tenderfoot: gay or feminine
Thunderstorm: extremely large thighs; thunder thighs
Too Fat Shakur:2-pac fat reference
Top Romin : a person that is broke
Tranimal: animal tranny
Tranny: a girl with so much makeup caked on her face that she looks like a transvestite
Tri-Tip: she can try the tip
Troff Feeder: an obese female
Trout: an older man who dates younger women in trying to be younger or "swim upstream"
Trout Mouth: looks like a fish
Tuna Factory: chick who has nasty lookin p*ssy lips..."That chicks gotta tuna factory goin on down there."
Unbeweavable: lots of weave
WNBA: a tall female who is manly
Would You?: means "would you screw this chick?"
Is that a uniboob? I bet she looks nothing like this in person… She has fat man hands.
Reply
Nik, the poll options usually make no sense! Reply:
July 15th, 2009 at 8:30 pm
Can we get more relevant poll options?
Anyways, she is way cuter than the two other girls.
She looks older than the other girls, but that’s ok, because maybe she can hold a conversation, as the others cannot.
Reply