Hef’s New Girlfriend Melissa


Hef's New Girlfriend Melissa

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik. Have you seen Hef’s new girlfriend Melissa Taylor? Hef refuses to say she is an official girl (my guess is he is embaressed of her) she says she lives in the playmate house, but I hear she lives in room #5 at the mansion.

Why would you want to live at the Mansion unless you hated having sex?  Dating Hef is the same thing as taking an act of celibacy.- nik


39 Dirty Comments

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  1. August 2, 2009 at 5:40 pm

    CAli.Doll says:

    It’s a gold diggers paradise! Posing for the magazine is one thing but sharing spit with Hef and every peroxide chick he has kissed is just gross :)

    Reply to CAli.Doll
    • August 4, 2009 at 7:33 am

      TonyC says:

      The bleach blonde stripper look is old. It’s like he’ll let anyone in. As for Crystal…she looks better now that her grill is fixed. She’s still to husky for me though. She looks like she could play for the Bears bro!

      Reply to TonyC
  2. August 2, 2009 at 5:54 pm

    Frankie D. says:

    They are both Fug.

    Reply to Frankie D.
  3. August 2, 2009 at 6:51 pm

    CestMoi says:

    Boy with these shims it’s safe to say Playboy’s standards have officially gone to the dogs – literally.
    Come on Hef – you’re slipping!

    Reply to CestMoi
  4. August 2, 2009 at 9:45 pm

    100% Class says:

    Why does she look so familiar?

    I hear the actual girlfriends make around 100k a year in those contracts, but they also are with security everytime they leave the mansion. These chicks have to be serious about gold digging to agree to the terms of those contracts…

    Reply to 100% Class
  5. August 2, 2009 at 10:54 pm

    Randal P says:

    forget about the chicks – Hef look like he is a few days away from death. Mark my words this dude will not see November Rain.

    Reply to Randal P
  6. August 2, 2009 at 11:00 pm

    OneLove ☮ says:

    she is beat

    Reply to OneLove ☮
  7. August 2, 2009 at 11:35 pm

    GND says:

    Melissa is not a girlfriend. :)

    Reply to GND
  8. August 3, 2009 at 12:14 am

    =-) says:

    sorry to say, she is ugly………..
    what has gotten into hef
    these girls he has as am candy are sure not good enough to have on his arm, of course they just want his $$$$, but aleast have some pretty ones

    Reply to =-)
  9. August 3, 2009 at 1:06 am

    KDIZZLL says:

    I heard Hefs a big homo, that might explain the uglies in the mansion lately?

    Reply to KDIZZLL
  10. August 3, 2009 at 4:05 am

    Colonel Troutman says:

    The only things Hef is dating these days are his Depends diapers and spoonfuls of Geritol. I don’t think he could get the old shriveled greg up if he had a crowbar, and I doubt he;s in the mental state anyway. Can’t imagine who will replace him.

    Reply to Colonel Troutman
  11. August 3, 2009 at 6:20 am

    Ashamed says:

    These girls should be ashamed of themselves. Why sell your soul to be famous? What gold diggers, it should be illegal like street walking is.

    Reply to Ashamed
    • August 3, 2009 at 10:58 am

      Johnny Bravo says:

      It’s not like they are screwing the old fossil. He’s just paying them to be seen with him.

      He’s pretty pathetic.

      Reply to Johnny Bravo
  12. August 3, 2009 at 7:49 am

    ChalupaBreath says:

    Recession…

    Reply to ChalupaBreath
  13. August 3, 2009 at 9:06 am

    cenyko de mayo says:

    all are trailer trash and gold diggers and effing money grubbing who-res!!!

    Reply to cenyko de mayo
  14. August 3, 2009 at 10:07 am

    Chi-Town Chica says:

    Hef looks like’s already dead and being held in place by these fugs — Weekend at Bernie’s style. Poor old guy isn’t even young enough to be considered a trout anymore. Bring back Kendra!

    Reply to Chi-Town Chica
  15. August 3, 2009 at 1:54 pm

    Colonel Troutman says:

    Since all of the white trash gold diggers usually go for the Afro American athletes, it’s refreshing to see a couple warm up to white guys, even if they are geriatric.

    Reply to Colonel Troutman
  16. August 3, 2009 at 5:01 pm

    The Truth From A Real Ex says:

    Duno if Melissa is a new gf wouldnt put it past Hef…. The current Fugs, and the old past gf’s allll make the same.. a whoooooping $1000.00 a week. They MUST have sex with him on Fri & Sat nights at the least. They are grounded to the property, and can only leave during the week fro a few hours a day, but MUST be home by dinner, and from Fri night till Sun morn. Now wonder why the terd Twins smoke weed all day, and stay drunk. As 4 Crystal.. LAY OFF THE TWEAK!!! Ask me more questions and I’ll reply… WHY???? Bc I hate, with a passion the 3 new girlfriends. T

    Reply to The Truth From A Real Ex
  17. August 3, 2009 at 5:03 pm

    The Truth From A Real Ex says:

    Duno if Melissa is a new gf wouldnt put it past Hef…. The current Fugs, and the old past gf’s allll make the same.. a whoooooping $1000.00 a week. They MUST have sex with him on Fri & Sat nights at the least. They are grounded to the property, and can only leave during the week fro a few hours a day, but MUST be home by dinner, and from Fri night till Sun morn. Now wonder why the terd Twins smoke weed all day, and stay drunk. As 4 Crystal.. LAY OFF THE TWEAK!!! Ask me more questions and I’ll reply… WHY???? Bc I hate, with a passion the 3 new girlfriends. They are awful souls, and I say that having personally known all 3. I feel bad for Hef

    Reply to The Truth From A Real Ex
  18. August 3, 2009 at 6:15 pm

    Yo-Yo Ma says:

    These girls are DOWN grades. Where are those 2 skanky twins that beat each other with beer bottles?

    Reply to Yo-Yo Ma
  19. August 4, 2009 at 9:12 am

    cenyko de mayo says:

    Colonel T, you are stupid, white women love black sex and your woman too! Stop being jealous you can have them because i love women of color, keep your white women and i have still to find a white woman that isnt trashy, where should i look in the library?

    Reply to cenyko de mayo
  20. August 5, 2009 at 3:03 am

    sad but true says:

    I know Melissa. she used to be a stripper at Main Attraction in Oceanside then at Hustler in Garden Grove. She is a money hungry wh*re that would do anything for attention. Her Ex paid for her boobs then she left him. When she gets what she wants out of Hef she’ll move on to the next sad trout

    Reply to sad but true
  21. August 5, 2009 at 9:18 am

    sad but true says:

    Oh woops Melissa was a waitress at the Main Attraction not a stripper, my bad. I like to talk a lot of sh*t sometimes and not get the facts straight.

    Reply to sad but true
  22. August 5, 2009 at 9:21 am

    sad but true says:

    Oh Woops, Melissa was a waitress at the Main Attraction not a stripper, my bad. I should’ve gotten my facts straight.

    Reply to sad but true
  23. August 9, 2009 at 6:55 pm

    notafan says:

    melissa was a stripper….ive seen her at a club in SD i believe…the hustler one i think. she is old too. since when does hef date girls over thirty?

    Reply to notafan
  24. August 11, 2009 at 1:03 pm

    midsummers ruled! says:

    I was just a midsummers with all his lovely ladies..the twins were wasted and dry humping any man with silky jammies on..white, black, mexican…old, young, fat, ugly..they had no preference. It was actually disgusting and i found it to be so disrespectful. I was actually in shock..ive been going to mansion parties for the last few years and Holly, Bridget and Kendra never displayed that type of behavior at parites..in fact one of the twins tried to make out with me..she was a hot mess and not in a good way.

    Reply to midsummers ruled!
  25. August 17, 2009 at 4:32 am

    onewhoknows says:

    I have gotten lap dances from Melissa … won’t say where or when

    Reply to onewhoknows
    • August 27, 2009 at 3:13 pm

      cost2much says:

      I have as well and I must say my money would have been better spent on a slot machine! BORING, and NOT sexy!!!

      Reply to cost2much
  26. August 24, 2009 at 12:39 pm

    learnthehardway says:

    Melissa will tell you whatever you want to hear to get what she wants from you. At least with hef, they use each other!

    Reply to learnthehardway
  27. September 2, 2009 at 7:10 pm

    claudia says:

    melissa is sweet as pie and insanely beautiful. hence hef and his girlfriends loving her. anyone who knows her will tell you the same. :) (ps ur all f*ckin haters. lol).

    Reply to claudia
  28. October 19, 2009 at 8:34 am

    looloo says:

    Melissa is a very sweet girl and crystal is as well. The twins act like trailor trash and are the true disgrace. Lay off Crystal and Melissa please.

    Reply to looloo
  29. December 1, 2009 at 11:13 am

    whatever says:

    she’s gross….this chick I follow on Twitter is what I consider SMOKING HOT…..SexyNatG is her name.

    Reply to whatever
  30. December 8, 2009 at 11:29 pm

    Anonymous says:

    omg cristal isolder than 22 or 23 she looks like she is 28 or even 29 she is definitely not 23 who is she fooling not me 4 sure, old hag

    Reply to Anonymous
  31. June 25, 2010 at 10:23 pm

    You kidding? says:

    Someone needs to check that dudes pulse.

    Reply to You kidding?
  32. December 14, 2011 at 8:00 am

    Princess says:

    to the girl who “Claims” to be hef’s ex is full of Sh*t! The amout of money you say you recieved is off by far. If you are his “Ex” theres a reason you are not any longer, look at how you betrayed him by trashing him? Yes hes 83 yrs old but he is a kind, loving, sweet , generous man who genuinley cares for people! He misses Holly and has asked her to come back to him more than once but shes very much over the whole “Play boy” thing. Its sad because he knows he really screwed up by not marrying her when he had the chance. Who ever you are, if youre really his “ex” your an un trustworthy, skanky, mean spirited B*tch to talk about Hef in that way!

    Reply to Princess

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