Posted in Hollywood, Los Angeles, The Dirty, Would You? | October 23rd, 2009
THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is Crystal, Hef’s 3rd rated girlfriend besides the twins, would you?
Answer: No, major muffin top and vaj neck. The only thing I find hot about her is her horse hair. She would have no shot with my Greg and that is the truth.
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ohyea says:
Hey, Twins, NICE Abercrombie skirts… Oh, wait, or is that Hollister?
to ohyeaWTF says:
Yeah….what’s up with the jean skirts??? I think Crystal is much prettier than the twins.
to WTFRandom says:
Who cares? They are hotter than both of you.
to Randomvahe says:
just another in debt tramp who sold out for the cash and takes 85 year old c*ck for it
to vahereality king says:
Yo know vahe, you are so right! why value your morals and integrity when we can easily sell out! take the short cut, it’s easier to lay on your back for 5 minutes then to value yourself for an eternity…
to reality kingJim says:
Just shows how a lot of make up and some good photography can dress a girl up. She looks semi decent in this shot, she looked tore up in the Taco bell shot from earlier.
to Jim420420420420420 says:
SHE LOOKS LIKE AN OWL WITH THAT SHOULDER TURN
to 420420420420420420420420420420 says:
SHE FREAKS ME OUT,F*CK THAT OVER SHOULDER TURN IS WEIRD,like shes a OWL
to 420420420420420woody says:
even though she has no ass, she is way better than the 3 girl friends
to woodyFred Farkel says:
“she has no ass”
Uh.
Oh KAYYYYYYYYYYYYY.
If you say so.
to Fred Farkelmatt says:
i agree…no definition…it just goes straight and for a mile
to mattearl duke says:
booty shots , booty shots rocking everywhere!!! LOL!!
to earl dukeearl duke says:
she is effing fugly!!
to earl dukenunh says:
Her ass is flat! The twins are butt ugly – Heff is senile
to nunhWhat Happened??? says:
Damn she suffers from noassatall. Damn i remember when playboy was worth looking at. what a shame
to What Happened???100% Class says:
She looks like a younger version of the used up pornstar that was on the Rock of Love bus. The crazy one.
to 100% Classnik is forgy says:
f@g
to nik is forgylong dong wong says:
how sweet, fresh meat!
to long dong wongDeadFox says:
“dating hef”…….what Crap! More like dating Grandpa! Gross!
to DeadFoxAnonymous says:
she has a noodle ass
to AnonymousAnonymous says:
haha…And that top pic is so far off from what Crystal really looks like. The twins are truly fug as well.
to AnonymousVictor Z. says:
haha…that top pic also looks NOTHING like how Crystal really is. That’s a gross manipulation of photography magic. The twins are truly fug as well. Yuck.
to Victor Z.pearl necklace says:
i left some c*m in her ass for Hef to find.
to pearl necklaceAnonymous says:
hef has lost his sight, i see
to Anonymouswink wink says:
you would because she would give u the time or day Nik, you look like a 30 K millionaire…Let me guess u will delete this so no one sees this
to wink winkjoem says:
nik cmon man your standards are ridiculous. will you post a pic of a chick you ave pounded out so we can see
to joemFred Farkel says:
I’ll second that.
It seems like no decent looking female posted on this site is good enough for anyone who lurks here.
Yeah. Well here’s an idea.
Think of a way for us REAL men to post pictures of both our women AND US in bed and we’ll see just who is sleeping with whom.
That will certainly be interesting.
Oh and for the record??
I’ll sign up Crystal Harris any day.
(MAJOR MUFFIN TOP??? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND??)
to Fred FarkelIbleedPURPLEnGOLD says:
Better than the troll twins.
to IbleedPURPLEnGOLDseigfreid of roid says:
I have an idea. i’m going to get two friends with asses that are an axe handle wide and have them pose around me and i’ll look positively waif like.
to seigfreid of roidC'est Moi says:
She is a very dirty girl.
to C'est MoiSk*nky doesn’t do her justice!
mv dblow says:
nik, you’re a tool and you’ve always been one. i love how you say you’d “never touch this, honest.” man, you’d f*cking beg this girl to give you the time of day, bro. but, you know she wouldn’t, so you act like a DB to protect yourself, just like you used to back in H.S.. Back then it was the same, remember those days, toolbag? No chick would give you any chance, and none of the guys you wanted to hang with would ever be caught f*cking dead hanging with you, talking with you, etc….You were a total toolbag loser then, and guess what? You’re still that same douchebag loser now. Now, instead of making stupid ass rude, obnoxious comments in the classroom, or in the hallways, quad, etc…when people f*cking dismissed your monkey ass, you write stupid, moronic, obnoxious comments on the net. Same thing, different medium. But, 12 years later, you’re still the same old Toolman that nobody wanted anything to do with. People don’t change, they just get more and more pathetic. Congrats, Toolman, missed ya at the 10 year reunion! Not that anyone even knew who the f*ck you were!
to mv dblowDirtyGuynNB says:
Dude, that was the best breakdown I’ve ever read on here. So tired of loser “cronies” who kiss Nik aka Hoom@n’s ass “I’m with NIK”… “Nik, would you?”….. “You’re right Nik…..” Lots of ANGRY guys have Hoom@n’s same bitter story so they all seek to belittle or degrade women.. Guys who actually BANG women, we’re not bitter because we LOOK good and have BIG gregs. lol
to DirtyGuynNBUM says:
The twins are fat and ugly? Not to mention they talk like trash.
to UMnunofyourbusiness says:
I’m sure she is upset that she has no shot at at puny nic’s greg (lower case on purpose). Hef has a real good chance at it, though.
to nunofyourbusinessocbody doc says:
That stuff is all fixable…
to ocbody docI KNOW THE SK@NKS! says:
The twins are indeed purple crayon wh*res, and Crystal is raunchy in other ways. Her last dude was also rich & from SD. She is, and has always been a gold digger trying to climb the ladder.
The twins have a nice a$$, but a huge pot belly to roll long with it, and a ghetto/white trash attitude. Crystal has NO a$$, messed up gator skin, & a boyish figure. That picture of her was taken by Playboy. It’s real, and if anything photo shopped to make the troll look better.
Aside from the fact that the new girls are NOTHING to look at, they are as MEAN as they come, which makes it all even worse.
Maybe the new girlfriends that you will see added on the GND (Ana & Melissa) will be nicer. They sure look better!
to I KNOW THE SK@NKS!shes hot says:
the twins are as typical as you get. and they;re jailbate.
but muffin top? get real man. now you;re just making sh*t up.
to shes hotjoem says:
SHOW US A GIRL YOU WOULD HAVE SEX WITH
to joemmagenta crayola says:
she loves to lick it after it’s been on the Hershey highway. nasty skank ho.
to magenta crayolahollly#1 says:
ya crystal is a gold digger. her last boyfriend was some creep from san diego named scotty. old fat rich d*ck. shes as hungry as they come! she is not the new holly, no where close
to hollly#1Shuffle_Demon says:
Hef is obviosuly goping senile…This chick isn’t even close to average…talk about sub par…who did she blow to get on the girls next door…
to Shuffle_DemonCandyMan says:
Hef has become C. Montgomery Burns – with Viagra – there’s a fright before Halloween for you.
Nik, someone already did the show you’re pitching – it was called ‘Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.’ You are ridiculous. It would be one thing if you went to a Hooters in Little Rock, Arkansas and made fun of the chicks with fat hanging out of their orange shorts – but your nitpicking here is just sad. You’re a Third World midget. But I love the website! Keep posting the pics.
to CandyManEric the Fidget says:
She has Momass
to Eric the Fidgetcome on says:
chick is from Lake Havasu, nothing good ever comes from there
to come onFrom Seattle says:
Crystal dated a guy I know in Seattle. He now has the herp. She is just gross!
to From Seattle888G888 says:
God Hef is getting seanile WTF… Im not a hater but she dosent have ASS at allllllll……
to 888G888ImaTen says:
Crystal H*rr*s is a flooooozy. Her ex Scott H*ggs Real Estate Agent & owner of Light House Realty in Point Loma runs around San Diego showing off her naked photos on his I*phone as a pick up line to reel in young girls. Scott H*ggs is in his mid 50′s and she was barely 20 when they began screwing. He said she drank like a fishhhhhh…
to ImaTenNorman says:
Wow. thedirty.com is great.
to NormanAnonymous says:
shes a havasu hottie!!!
to Anonymous