The Landlord

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, this D-bag is Carter. I had the pleasure of having him as my landlord until recently I was informed of a little scheme he’s been running for the pass 3 years. You see, Carter owns 3 two floor homes in which he rents out each floor. The thing is, he strictly rents them out to young single women of his specific demographic. Once they’re moved in he lowers their rent and gives them breaks on rent due dates because “you seem like a great person.” Eventually he’ll show up to inform you your a great tenant and bring you a bottle of wine. If that doesn’t get him in your bed, later he’ll call you up with an excuse that he can’t stay at his place and asks if he can crash with you for the night/weekend in which you sort of have to say yes. That’s when he smooth talks and pouches. Apparently, he’s got it down to a science and has banged out over 35 girls and has been known to be seeing five of his tenants at a time and they’re all oblivious! Unfortunately, I was stupid enough to fall for his sleazy plan of banging out women while taking their rent money. Nik, put this douche on blast and hopefully we can put him out of business.

Whats his demographics blondes.  You’d have to be an idiot to fall for that.- nik