The great writings of Ben Quayle (click on pink link titles to see his full work):
5/18/07 – Brock’s Corner: Scottsdale Hairstyle’s
[Snippet] As a preface, I want to tell you a little about myself. First off, I’m a tall drink of water who is easy on the eyes. Plus, my moral compass is so broken I can barely find the parking lot. Long story short, on a scale of 1-to-10, I’m awesome.
At night and on the weekends, I frequent the same places that you do. I’m at the bars, the clubs, the pool parties and the free health clinic (actually I’ve never been there, but dare to dream). Basically, I’m F’n everywhere.
5/30/07 – Brock’s Corner: Foxy Lady
6/06/07 – Brock’s Corner: Lost in Translation
[Snippet] It all begins after hearing the description provided by a lady friend. I usually have my blind date built up in my mind like this: she is model hot, wicked smart, uproariously funny, runs a 4.5 40-yard dash, once saved a small Indonesian village from a swarm of locusts with only a kite and a tennis ball and has serious daddy issues (just how I like ‘em).
Unfortunately, my heightened expectations are usually destroyed by cruel reality. I could go into great detail about these types of encounters, but then I’d break out in a cold sweat and I would need to take a ‘rape’ shower, and I’ve already taken two of those today…the smell of shame just won’t rub off no matter how hard I try. Zest fully clean my ass!
6/16/07 – Brock’s Corner: P-Nazi Confusion
6/29/07 – Brock’s Corner: All Tatted Up
[Snippet] Seriously, does everyone in this town have an F’n tattoo? Does the Scottsdale city council have a task force that delves out crappy tattoos to all of its citizens? If that’s the case, it’s a good thing I can run sub 5-minute miles for 2 hours straight before I collapse from exhaustion. Otherwise, they may have caught me and I would have some seriously bad ink, and that would be horrible because I have flawless skin. Plus, the ladies don’t want me to draw attention from this ass and this bone structure. That would be similar to placing a couple paint by numbers pieces just below the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Did I just compare my ass and bone structure to Michelangelo’s masterpiece in the Sistine Chapel? Yes, yes I did…I only write the truth.
7/27/07 – Brock’s Corner: Lake Pleasant
[Snippet] Anyway, after concluding that sipping mint juleps dockside had been replaced with taking body shots off of scantily clad ladies, it was time to lose my yachting attire–and that’s when things started to get interesting.
As I slowly and seductively removed my sexy outfit, a palpable tension was felt across the lake. When I took off my shirt, and the ladies caught a glimpse of my chiseled physique, I was summarily mobbed like I was a member of Menudo during the Puerto Rican day parade in NYC. Not that this is anything new.
Huge shout out to Verum Serum for digging up these 2007 DirtyScottsdale.com archives of Ben Quayle’s work. Like I have said in all my interviews, Ben Quayle was a great writer for DirtyScottsdale.com (now TheDirty.com). He was a legend in Arizona as Brock Landers.- nik
Anonymous says:
Is that his wife to the left of the picture? What is her story? Brock’s…. Oops I mean ben’s chick is way hotter.
to AnonymousAl C. says:
PALIN-QUAYLE 2012
to Al C.Funny says:
At least he didnt go and get his name legally changed to his alter ego. That would have been really a d-bag move.
to FunnyWTF says:
My guess he’s some rich kid who’s a mommy’s boy who likes to get boned by mommy’s boyfriends when she is out.
to WTFgremlin says:
“Rape shower”?! Any man who further demeans rape victims by using that term the way he did, is not someone who should be representing anyone! I wonder what Tiffany thinks about his use of that term.
to gremlinmike f says:
long before your readers were enjoying scottsdale nightlife, i was creating the same with my friends. in the 70′s it was the same with the bob crane scandal and the mafia and cowboy owned car dealerships. it has evolved now into brock landers and a run for government office. the funny thing is that his writings are admired and actually pretty good! he should be proud of his work and run on a platform of truth and honesty instead of denial and disgrace. after all, aren’t we the ones who are going to be electing him anyways?!
mike
to mike fFloyd in Snottsdale says:
VOTE FOR BROCK!!!
to Floyd in SnottsdaleLake Havasu City John says:
First, HE LIED about contributing. He is trying to present himself as a “Family Man” yet had to use his nieces in Campaign Photos. Luckily Ben has the use of SPELLCHECK – an asset his dad did not have use of. So, his writings show either a) his true feelings about his love of himself and his body or b) lies to create a character to attract readers that was loaded with lies and falsehoods. Either way – I wouldn’t hire him to watch my children let alone run my state.
to Lake Havasu City JohnMysticAlucard15 says:
Is it just me, or does Ben Quayle look just like the dude who plays Wizzrobe in the web-series Leged of Neil?
to MysticAlucard15tired of the cry babies says:
These snippets were the funniest most well written pieces that have ever graced this site!
to tired of the cry babiesTedinIndiana says:
WOW.. He can spell well enough to be a writer!!!
His mother must have helped him with his homework, we all know his father couldn’t spell.
to TedinIndianaiDouche says:
Gotta hand it to Brock! His legendary skills are the stuff of legends…
to iDoucheGreat Writer? says:
“As I slowly and seductively removed my sexy outfit, a palpable tension was felt across the lake. When I took off my shirt, and the ladies caught a glimpse of my chiseled physique, I was summarily mobbed like I was a member of Menudo during the Puerto Rican day parade in NYC. Not that this is anything new.”
That sht would get a D- in a first year English class.
to Great Writer?Anonymous says:
who cares how is this bad at all?
to AnonymousTrock says:
Ben, just read some of the other comments and you’ll see why it’s bad! LOL
to TrockWho She? says:
I have to give the guy credit– his writing reflects a mind that is articulate, clever, amusing, and refreshingly honest, and I really wish he would decide to utilize these qualities during his campaign. However, the smug self-importance has got to go. Overcompensating for being gangly and awkward much? Hey, Ben, the stick bug exhibit at the zoo called. They want you back in your terrarium by 5pm.
to Who She?Anonymous says:
So, Ben says he was brought up right???? How can that be?? He sounds like a big jerk to me. I bet there are some girls out there that can attest to that. Ben, go back to writing and admiring yourself. You deserve you.
to AnonymousRobert says:
Next news… Gay.
to Robertsooo i am confused says:
he had an internal email with you and worked for you? Shouldn’t the email address be @thedirty.com back then?
to sooo i am confusedUnkl Poof says:
there is something about him that reminds me of Ted Bundy.
to Unkl Poof