The Salmon Creep
THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I can’t Believe I hooked up with this sh*thead!!! After a long night of iv partying I made my way over to a greek establishment hoping for some late night fun, all I found was this clown. Unfortunately I was so wasted I actually thought his in depth analysis of his restrung tennis racket was interesting, and he lured me into his lair. I tried to hook up with him just to shut him up, but he got sidetracked making a salmon burger on his panini grill, and proceeded to pass out mid sandwich. I proceeded to smoke all his pot and finish the sandwich before walking home. Nik, Blast this fool!
A Salmon Panini sandwich? I don’t even want to know what your down below regions smell like.- nik
Ha! You posted a story that makes you look like a sneaky, thrashy ho!
I don’t know what’s worse: him passing out with p*ssy waiting or you being that easy and upset at your stupid decision
Wow, maybe you just aren’t hot?
Good for this kid, I’m sure you’re some troll who’s 15 or so pounds of weight from all the binge drinking you do. I’m betting the folks at UCSB have a nickname for your late night drunken hook ups with random guys. Rather than smoking all of his weed maybe you should have looked for some valtrex to steal.
in IV we like to call those girls “whorifice”…meaning they liked to get f*cked in every orifice…
next time find a guy with a sausage smoker then you both will be happy
I’m a girl and I think whoever posted this is retarded. Tried to hook up w/ him so he’d shut up?? He passed out so you stole his stuff?? You sound like a loser-who*e. Something is wrong with YOU if you’re throwing yourself @ guys and they still want nothing to do with it.
Sounds like the scab-poster was better off in IV & she couldn’t have scored dick down on State Street
Sucks being her.
What is iv partying?
only the craziest partying of any school on the west coast…iv stands for isle vista, where 99% of the partying is done, its a little community that all the students live in
Thanks!
it’s isla vista*, not isle vista
yawn, over-rated. you guys got nothing on pullman on game days. literally the entire city is f*cked up for 24 hours because there is nothing else to do.
SB is awesome, one of my favorite bar crawls ever, but child please you have nothing on the zoo.
this is why freshmen girls should stop complaining about rape.
picture 1, sandals…
chase the rainblow
He’s kinda hot. The girl who posted this is obviously just bitter because he rejected her. Hilarious!
LMAO at this vivid description of a swamp donkey hunting for leftovers
i guy def sent this in..either its a frat brother being funny or he hooks up with ding a lings
This pus*y is obviously for the gays!
you stumble into some random house drunk out of your mind, pick some dude you dont even know to just casually f*Ck, then smoke all his pot, steal god knows what from him, and then waddle back home b/c he would rather make a sandwich then stick it in you (dude, seriously, what does that say about you? what kind of college guy would rather make a sandwich then poke your stinker?..damn, you must really be one disgusting pile of garbage to come in 2nd to a panini!!!…back on track. you try to light him up on the dirty as a “loser”? Chick, you got in backwards, youre the winner today. you are easily the most pathetic piece of trash on the first 10 pages of the dirty. congrats!
This
i don’t know why, but i laughed out loud to this post. well written IMO, lol
Rainbow shot is pretty telling. That could very well be a recruiting poster for GLAAD
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I think the person who posted this is a dude, because no chick would hook up with that homo.
Actually he sounds sweet and is kinda cute. Not all girls wanna date assholes.
Here’s what happened. You got drunk and went to A T Bro for some more free booze/shlong and you convince this dude to hook up with you. Theres an 80% chance you’re beat if he chose a pssy sandwich over your pssy. He was probably hammered while making out then sobered up in his room and decided to go down on some salmon instead of your tuna. You give UCSB a bad name frat rat
i bet this dude is a 311 fan…
619 fan actually.
Way to make your self sound like a total whore. I think he’s hot!
This panini sounds incredible.
hahahaha by far the best post on this thread
hahahahaha two thumbs up…idk wuts more pathetic, the fact that this just proves how AT* is the douchiest frat in IV or that this girl got turned down for fishy food…
THIS IS SO FUNNY!!!! and hes hot why have i not met him?
This is the biggest self burn I have read. You show up to his house, try to hook up with him, and he makes a sandwich instead. And you are trying to make fun of him? Where is your shame?
dude is owning life. this donkey harlot has shit backwards
boo
hahahahaha ya he’s total douche
meet him tomorrow