THE DIRTY ARMY: Ok so this guy’s name is Marchea Dalton, Stationed at JBLM originally from Detroit and is seriously out of his mind. My friend set me up w/ this guy, we started texting and he always seemed very anxious for me to come hang out with him, finally last saturday i did when i got there i literally threw up in my mouth. this kid looks like a gremlin, he’s about 5’5, ashy as hell and had something on his upper lip that was a cause for concern. Come to find out, this kid doesn’t even have a whip. After talking to him and seeing how lame he was(all he talked about was how hard he was ’cause he’s from detroit) i made up some b.s. excuse about me having to be at work early and left. after that first night it starts getting crazy, the pet names start comin, “babe”,”honey”, “wifey” um…i’m sorry, do i know you? Anyways, i do my best not to be a complete bitch and told him chill w/ all the loveydovey shit. he hit me up everyday tellin me he wants to get to know me and chill, i give in again. felt bad, went to hang out a second time at his boy’s place since he doesn’t have his own, he was still as lame as the first time, he tried to kiss me but his breath was a blend of hot garbage and ass, so i laughed in his face and walked out. kid follows me out, asks if i wanna go somewhere private, he doesn’t want his baby mad at him. at that point, i had to tell him what a pathetic desperate loser he was. he apologized and asked if we can hang out again, just to get the fuck outta there i said sure, when i didn’t show back up this kid went bonkers lmao, blew my phone up 16 times in a row, proceeded to tell me that he’s got more money than bill gates and how he was messing w/ other girls anyways (uh first off….you shop at marshalls boo…only money you have is chump change secondly, why would i care who you were messing w/ and third…no you weren’t, you weren’t getting any action) then that he loves me so much and was just upset. In total i spent less than 90 minutes with this kid. Hopefully he changes his stalker-like tendencies once he’s put on blast!

Nice boots ya dingus.- nik