THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I was lucky enough to snap this shot of the Landon losers at the pool last weekend. After noticing a girl sitting spread eagle from across the pool, these three creepishly made their way in their direction. Playing lifeguard with their whistle necklaces and matching watches, I had the pleasure of watching them fail with their pickup lines. Sipping on Mai Tais and letting their guts hang, I heard them say “Do you girls want some chips?” Needless to say, the girls promptly laughed in their faces. Keep trying, fellas.
I thought they were identical twins, why is one gut bigger than the other?- nik
**Rookies: Shomos stands for Short + Homos.