Am I Crazy
THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I have been noticing that lately you have a lot of people asking you for advice so maybe you can help me … I am a only child female, 30 years old, went to college, pretty, always dated decent guys (guys with college degree, good jobs etc) but seems like once I get what I want (got engaged four times), having a guy telling me he loves me etc I get bored, and I am also very demanding. So I always see flaws on the guys and I break up… what is my problem? My mom tells me I probably never loved anyone my whole life… I do want to get married and have at least one child but I cant hold on one guy. Why? why am I this way? and I also have a list of things that the guy must to do for me if he wants to be my boyfriend: go to the gym together at least twice a week (I go 4 times a week), can’t be a smoker, has to spend the weekends with me, go out dancing twice a month, go on small trips once in a while, always celebrate the holidays with me, and try to be romantic on special dates. Am I crazy? Spoil only child? Do I need therapy? I so want to get married and have a baby but why I cant stop breaking up and moving on to the next guy? Worse part is that some of my exs fiances still keep in touch with me I go back with one, break up again go back to the other one, they are still around trying to get me to be serious and I do try to get back and be happy but I just cant make things work out at all.
I think you are perfect. Some people aren’t made for marriage… especially the ones who force it. Let life happen and put the road map down. You pick him and not the other way around (when the time is right). Until then have fun and adopt.- nik
Another spoiled American chick. The whole post is about all the things he has to do for her and what she wants.
At least she has some insight to being self-centered. Maybe one say we will have custom-ordered robots to fulfill these selfish needs.
Agreed,
this bitch is the reason divorce is so high. All she wants is someone to marry, so she can have a baby, and he ticks off shit on a list.
who would want to wife that shit up? despites her ‘engagements’ its clear that she aint wife material
Blame the guys ! Even.after all that they want to get back together and some even broke up with the new gfs to get back with me. In the end of the day they are as bad as me ….. feeding my behavior. Getting back together etc.
Not american…. I am from argentina. Yes I would love to be able to order a robot boyfriend. Ps: I never lie to a guy about my expectations. I say it before getting serious
You’re better off staying away from marriage. It doesn’t make any sense really. Only idiots get married nowadays. I’m 40 and single. I’m happy and successful. You don’t need someone to make u happy. Make urself happy. That is all
i ll do all the things you want but i have some “rules” you need to follow as well.
1. 4 blowjobs a week
2. Clean the house
3. Cook every night
4. food shop and laundry
thats why you never got married, you dont know what the difference is between up and down and left and right. are you coming or going. Women that run back to their ex’s have major psychological issues, they cant let go of the past and will always have a problem with “getting older”
2:1 odds youll end up divorced
5:2 odds youll end up divorced a second time
10:1 odds youll end up divorced a third time
Only 4 a week?
Not a demanding list.
I am fair. If I get what is in my list of course I will do my part in a relationship. That includes taking care of my man
Nik that was really well thought out advice. I’m glad she came to you.
I credit you for acknowledging this and not jumping into a life of lies dictated by your biological clock or what others do. Wait for the right one or maybe you should just adopt and have boyfriends.
It’s also possible that you are a narcissist and sociopath incapable of loving.
are you stupid? she said she wants to get married and baby up. shes not looking for ‘the one’ or to fall in love.
Sometimes I think that’s what I want ….love to me now is very overrated
Everyone is right. It is best that you don’t marry. Your mom is right. You have no idea what love is about. If you love someone you care about making them happy as well and not just your own selfishness. Someone like you will always be looking for more and never satisfied. You would just make some poor schmuck miserable.
My exe are all miserable in love …. I know I am demanding but I also a good girlfriend so they get sucked up on that …. I do feel sorry for them. I don’t like my Behaviour
1. Freeze your eggs now if you want to have kids.
2. As long as you are willing to follow a “must do” list for a guy, then your list is OK.
You sound just like the chick who ended things with me. You probably are her. I think :
1. You are a gold digging bitch
2. You think you are such a catch
3. You have deluded expectations
4. You are not willing to give what you get.
5. You now have chlamydia, youre welcome
sounds like you’re a stuck up narcissist bitch. stop f-ing around with your exes. be openly selfish for a while and once you find someone worse than you that’ll be the one you want, that’s the one who’ll give you a kid and that’ll the be one who plays with you your whole life while tossing you away like the stupid warm hole you are only good for.
What a stuck up bitch.
Sweetie??
Ditto to all the above… but I can sum it up more easily.
You’re just plain worthless.
worthless? she has a college degree, a job, and is self-sufficient. having relationship issues doesn’t make someone “worthless” and is quite common. The “worthless” women are all the ones featured on this website: no earning capability, little education, tons of plastic surgery, materialism, live off of others (daddy/boyfriend/sugardaddy/tricks), substance abuse, low intelligence.
As for you, Miss…. it is hard to not feel like you are “settling” in a relationship even if the other person is pretty great. Other people always look appealing, “the grass is greener on the other side.” You may feel like you do not want to settle down with any of these men, and maybe you shouldn’t. 4 serious relationships isn’t THAT many for someone to have by the time they are 30. Keep looking, you will find the one that you simply won’t let go
Also, I have no idea the length of your relationships, but if men are proposing to you after 1-2 years of dating good job dodging the bullet. That is way too soon, dudes be trippin’. Especially for a woman under 30 nowadays, who has economic independence. Unlike poor-but-surgically altered to be attractive slores that will get married/pregnant right off the bat, educated women have options and a better, more qualified pool of men to choose from (:
WOW i think that is the nicest, most genuine advice that Nik has given in awhile… !
It’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind. And AS MOST PEOPLE FORGET, marriage is a commitment “til death do us part, for better or for worse.” If the thought of those words does not 100% agree with you and your future husband, YOU SHOULDN’T BE GETTING MARRIED.
That being said, you have to realize that no one is perfect, and you’re going to find flaws in anyone you meet or date. I agree with Nik’s beautifully written advice and just have fun for awhile.
Do you people not realize this is a fake post by Nik himself to keep you people coming back for more gossip? what a bunch of gossip junkies!!
Real… I really like nik’s advice. He is a very straightforward man.
You have these unattainable aspirations on what “Love” should be. American white girls these days have these preconceived notions of what “men” and love should be. These notions are instilled from a young age from Disney movies to those hundreds of sh*t magazines at the grocery store you read. Here are some reality checks for you ladies. You are not princesses, you are not smart because you went to graduate school, you are not fashionable because you shop at nordstroms, you are not attractive because guys want to bang you, and you are not some unique snowflake. There are literally millions of other people exactly like you. Learn to compromise and you will be a lot happier. Being a single child however, you may have never had to compromise or give in. Try it though, it works. Embrace your shortcomings and let your guard down.
Amen. I would add that all American women are like this nowadays, which is why I avoid any type of committment with them whatsoever.
If I ever wanted to get married one day, I would just move overseas.
American women are effed up in the head.
I am from argentina. I think my problem is bc I am only child and pretty. Sometimes I wish I was plain jane that way I would not have so many options and I would have married the first boyfriend
I agree with you Argentina. Being attractive can be a huge pitfall. You have too many options and therefore refuse to settle on one man. You adhere to what my friends and I call “The next best guy” regimen. There are millions of beautiful women out there who will never have children and will die alone with their cats because they think too highly of themselves. This is why you are never happy because you always think there is someone better for you out there. Let me tell you, there is not. Also from your original post, it reads like you are resenting the fact that you are not “falling in love” with your past boyfriends. Women should reject this notion. Falling in love implies you will eventually fall out of love. Most guys I know don’t want to “fall in love”, they just want to love a girl that is worth it. Their perception of what romantic love is has not been skewed by societies ills and Bravo TV. They are much happier this way by managing their expectations from the opposite sex. Also your list is a bit crazy. Dancing twice a month, go to the gym with you? When you make lists of demands like this, you eliminate a lot of possible talent. I had a girlfriend that seems like you, that was gorgeous, but was always wanting me to change. Constantly talking about money and superficial things like looks. She assumed I was validated through material objects and superficial looks like she was. I had to let her go, because her incessant nagging and misery was contagious. She is now 30, and has 2 dogs and 1 cat, and is absolutely miserable. Just let your guard down and go with it.
thanks! your message was pretty good, great advice… I know I ma wrong, I want to change but is so hard , when times comes to sucked up is something inside me that dont let me. believe me I am not happy with my behavior and all those demands…
today I am thinking about flying to vegas with my current boyfriend and marry him and TRY to make my life work out! why in hell I have to be this way?
you deserve herpes. Than lets see what you settle for.
Sounds like you’re just not down with settling sweetie. Which is a lot more than what a lot of other weak females in this country can say.
Also, cut down your dream man’s attribute’s to 3 main things: a sense of humor, kindness and intelligence. Better catch the while you are still young! The supply of men will run out soon as they will start marrying, and you will be stuck with a balding man with 2 kids and endless issues if you are still single at 40. This is the truth!
she’s been engaged FOUR TIMES and she’s only thirty. This chick is not perfect. She needs therapy asap, she’s probably severely narcissistic and could be a psychopath/sociopath. For real. Her “standards” have nothing to do with how messed up she is, besides another way to control a human being.
Very controlling and sometimes a totally bitch but my guys like it … blame them. They wong leave me. I would not date myself …..
You are why good guys are ceasing o to exist.
nik, you are, and remain, a genius.
I agree with her! I don’t think her demands are too much at all. She just wants a guy with same education level and treats her right. Maybe she should not have made a clear list. Somethings should just be implied. I was the same way before and I dated plenty good men. What I have realize is that everyone has flaws, you just have to look over the minor ones and appreciate him for all his good qualities. Relationships are not solely built on love but lots of work for both parties. Otherwise, you should just plan to be single for life.
You’re not crazy at all. There are guys who love doing the same things you do (common activities) and who would enjoy having a partner with the same likes and dislikes. You have standards and that’s great. BTW, when you fall in love you will so know it. You’re fine, kiddo, don’t change a thing, just live your life to the fullest and it will all work out.
Don’t get married, that’s for sure. You’ll just end up making some nice guy miserable and ruining him, thereby perpetuating the vicious cycle in which he goes on and destroys the lives of unsuspecting and undeserving wholesome women.
Adopt a child, or see a sperm bank. That’s your best bet, and 1 out of 2 goals ain’t bad, sweetheart.
Lame. Fake. Fail.
You sound like my ex . Do you have any history of mental illness in your family
No. Just a only child my parents never said no to me until these days and pretty
You sound like my ex . Do you have any history of mental illness in you family history?
Any guy who marries you is a pure sucker. If you end up getting a guy to propose to you, save him the future agony and heartbreak and turn him down. You will end up divorced in less than a year. That’s a promise. You are not marriage material, and it’s too bad that, in spite of being engaged 4 separate times, you still don’t seem to get it.
I get a high for getting engaged and thinking I will get married but once I get it I loose interest
You’re psycho! Anyone with a “list” of things a guy has to do is just a kook!
Bet you’re ugly too…where’s your picture???
Wow.. good luck finding a guy that will live up to those standards… sounds like you’re a spoiled rich kid… but i agree with nik… except the part where you’re perfect..
Get some cats to spend your old age with!
1. You may like the love hormones flooding you when you are in the heights of a new love (chronic adulters may seek this), they wane with time. You may lack the bonding hormone oxytocin? You could probably get help for that (again, Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil is her name, I think). 2. Check out the traits of a narcissist. Are you one? Are you unable to love another as much as you love yourself? 3. Do you have faith? If you believe in your God you could pray and ask for help in finding Mr. Right and a real relationship that will last. I so wish that I would have asked for such help myself! Before my first boyfriend!
You sound exactly like me, to a T except i’m 25 and my list is a little different. I have been wondering why I do the same thing, as far as dumping a guy and moving right on to the next, while still having great exes that want me back. It’s really a terrible quality. Sometimes I just think it’s indecisiveness.
Who knows? Sometimes I blamed my parents for have never said no or my two best friends …. but those guys too. Come on they wi.t stop my behavior they are just like my parents.
You should post your pics so we all know to stay away from you or just hit and run you ! Lol
lol, I didnt post pictures because I see some guy saying that I sounded like his ex and believe me I dont want people that I know or even a ex to have the confirmation that is me. Yes, I agree I am a mess but those guys know and they still try… they are as quilty as me!
am i the only douche who figured out the poster was a DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think its odd that there is no picture of this horse. I bet she’s super ugly and thinks shes better than she really is…
Didn’t she say she went to college? If that is the case, why is her grammar so bad? Sigh… the requirements for a degree are getting lower and lower. Furthermore… this girl is a disgrace to women everywhere. I actually feel a little sorry for her, she’s never felt true love and if she doesn’t change herself and her standards she never will feel true love.