Sarah The Hamster Jurczak

December 15, 2011 Chicago 17

Sarah the Hamster Jurczak

Sarah the Hamster Jurczak

Sarah the Hamster Jurczak

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, you get a lot of sl*tty girls on TheDirty, but I can promise this sk*nk is number one in Arlington Heights, IL — Sarah Jurczak. Not only does she f*ck everything that walks (including my ex-boyfriend), she looks, smells, and even humps like a horny hamster. Her eyes are so far apart that I can not tell if she is looking at me or at both of her shoulders. I know this because my guy friend from ISU fingered her, smelled his fingers, and said they smell like ROTTEN MOLDY TUNA!!!!! He threw up right after and now everyone from ISU calls her “tuna-fingas”. Miss Jurczak is most famously known for hooking up with 3 guys in one night. Her v*gina is so wide that one d*ck does not satisfy her. I have to finally share an experience I had with Miss Jurczak that traumatized me for the rest of my life! My friends and I went to Wilmette Beach this past summer, and I was having a good time day drinking until Sarah’s nipple came out of her suit! Let me just say a baby’s toe is shorter than her nipple. PS. She’s so dumb that even community colleges don’t want her (cough HEARTLAND COLLEGE cough)

“A babies toe is shorter then her nipple”?? whatt? Orangutan t*tties?- nik