THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, It took me awhile to find out who this ape looking jerk REALLY is, but after I ran into his friend at a bar in Scottsdale, he spilled the beans about who Andrew Ross really is. This miami vice wanna-be is ENGAGED to be married and is constantly out cheating on his fiance every other weekend when she is out of town for work. He spends the very little money he pretends he has on hair produxts trying to make his greasy mop look like he’s a bigshot. He does not have anything in his mouth, his cheeks are just that big. He told me he played football for ASU, his loose non muscular body told me otherwise. After talking to his friend, who looked like a donkey, he ratted on him and his hush hush ways. Even his friends hate him!! The poor girls name is Kristin Sheff. Her family has a lot of money and Andrew leeches off of her on a daily basis. He lives with her because he is a pirate and cant afford to pay his own rent, and cant hit a golf ball even with the $2,000 clubs his father in law bough him. Andrew smells like a cafeteria, has bad breath and SNORES bad. Oh and is super terrible in bed!! He tries to shave his ratty chest hair but it grows back to fast and has disgusting red bumps all over. His hair gel will stain your pillow and make u throw it away. The next morning he won’t leave even when you hint at him to get out. When you wont return his texts he will then proceed to call u a wh*re and sl*t. Drinking problems are definite. This is how he texts. Heeeyyyy! Whatcha up to tonight? He uses “:) :)” way more than the average male needs to and acts like a homosexual often. Andrew you are a pathetic human being. If you wonder why I never returned your texts, this is why.
He must be married to a fat chick.- nik