THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is Edmonton, ABs’ Sydney. I met her off POF one day and the first time I met her, I was in her pants, no problem. I was fondling and kissing her. Everything was going great. Until…until I went down on her. I teased her inner thighs with my tongue, before I spread the lips to her waiting pink cavern. I peeked inside and…the itsy bitsy spider crawled out! Now, I’m not sure if this was the same spider from the nursery rhyme or not. I was too shocked and disturbed to care. You can’t even make this stuff up. I’m not joking, Nik. Sydney had a spider that sat down INSIDE her. My friends and I now call her Sydney Spider-cooch.
She put all that make-up on for a webcam photoshoot of herself. I decided.- nik