A Woman’s Value Is Not Measured By Whether She Has Man And/Or Kids
THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, you seem like a wordly person who has a good perspective on a variety of matters, so let me ask your opinion on this: Why are we in 2012 STILL under the delusion that the most important matter in a woman’s life is that she has a man and children?? I thought the 1950’s decade was long gone, so why are we still letting the outdated rules and values of that decade influence us? I’m a 30 year old single woman, no husband or kids yet, and I can’t tell you how much nasty crap I take from other women all the time because of it. According to them, I’m a “pathetic lonely old spinster” with no value in life. I’ve even been told that I’m already “too old” to ever be able to conceive children and that if I can’t ever have children then I am “not a real woman” and have “no purpose” in life. What the f*ck kind of ass-backwards sexist thinking is THAT?!?!? I even get ridiculed during the times when I’m not dating anyone, because apparently being single and not having a man at my side all the time is a cardinal sin of womanhood. I’m not currently dating anyone at this moment because I’m going through a major transition in life right now where dating someone would be pointless and a distraction, so I’m waiting until later when the time is right. You’d think I was breaking some kind of huge cultural taboo by choosing to remain single for the time being…except they insist that I’m involuntarily single because “no man wants me” because they can’t wrap their feeble minds around the idea that women have the right and ability to CHOOSE to be single at any time. And during the times when I AM dating someone, I get accused of “making it up” for not making a big enough public show about it. In order to “prove” you are dating someone, apparently you have to make a big mushy show about it by posting photos of you and the guy all over Facebook and making love-sick status updates professing your undying love for him everyday. Whatever. I’m a private, mature adult and I think it’s ridiculous that I’m supposed to act like a 13-year-old in the throes of fairytale puppy-love in order for people to accept that I have a boyfriend. I’ve even seen women in their 40’s act that way when they are dating a man, and it’s absolutely pathetic. It’s as if their entire world and all of their happiness in life rests upon that man. Not smart. Getting married and having a bunch of babies is NOT something I am ready to do at this point in my life. Honestly, it just doesn’t sound that appealing and I’m not yet ready to give up all of my freedom and fun. Right now I’m more focused on getting another college degree, climbing the career ladder so that I can make as much money for myself as I possibly can, travelling around to cool places, and just relaxing and having a good time while I still can. I don’t have to rely on a man to keep a roof over my head or buy me the things I need in life, and I don’t have any kids to worry about keeping fed, clothed, and sheltered. And because I haven’t yet had kids and am free to work out and take good care of myself, I look and feel 10 years younger than my actual age. Right now is my “me time”. I’m not opposed to dating anyone or having a partner to share my fun times in life with, but I’m not going to obsess over finding a man or take the first one who comes along like everyone expects me to. And yet somehow this choice makes me “pathetic” and “worthless”??? I don’t understand. So can we all just drag ourselves into the 21st Century already and leave the 1950’s opinions and values in the past where they belong?? A woman is NOT required to have a man at her side every day of her life in order to be happy, successful, or of any value, nor is she required to procreate before the age of 25!! So even though you are married with kids, I’d like to hear your take on this, Nik.
I have always said from day 1, a woman should never be a slave to a man. If we could all take the mental chip of “loneliness” out of our brains the world would be a better place. Love is why we fight.- nik
This is a dangerous femi-nazi ideology you promote, if we were to simply cave in to this (Real men) it would be like the Germans turning a blind eye to the horrors of Nazi Germany. Please stop this selfish behaviour you have, grab a man, cook, clean, and have a family. It’s women like you who are ruining this world. I’ll light a candle for you at Mass on Sunday.
You’re funny, your small mind is the reason women are being held back. Go pray to your imaginary man in the sky for a better point of view that’s not stuck in the1950′s. I have to go get an abortion now and then go to a job where I am paid less than my male co-workers. (joking about the abortion part) But really our rights as women are under fire and you want to think like this? Do us all a favor and move to the Middle East because there is no room for you method of thinking over here.
Go blow Rush you Tea Party idiot. If the leaders you support had their way this site would be illegal. They damn near collapsed this country 4 years ago. Stay out womans’ bedroom and medical care you lillipution brain mutt.
Well, as much as you may not want to hear this, women over 30 DO have a muuuuuch harder time conceiving and carrying to term. That’s a fact. At 35 a pregnancy is considered “geriatric”. People, Look it up before you bitch me out.
And, I do actually agree that it is so lame when women post pics of a guy on fb like they’ve never had a bf before lol. Or even worse, the ones who always keep him in their profile pic, do you share a fb or something? Lmao.
Fertility starts dropping off for women after age 20, but takes a major drop off at 35. By age 40, that is considered geriatric to have kids. If you really want to be realistic about it, women should be finished having kids by age 20, but thanks to advancements in medicine and health care, women can have better chances of producing healthy offspring and increased chances of pregnancy into their early 40s.
Nope. It IS 35.
Married at 23
Buying a house at 25
Having a child between 28-30
Closing the vaginal gates at 35
35 and up Live your wonderful life.
I think that is the perfect timeline for MYSELF.
OP are you ok with people not agreeing with you? Can you accept not everyone feels the same way you do? I respect what you want to do with your life. Screw what people say, but you seem like your looking down on anyone younger than 30 getting married and having kids.
That’s all fine BUT one day after you have your degrees, traveled the world, and climbed the corporate ladder; you will want kids. It’s statically more difficult for a women in her late 30′s to find the man of her dreams to conceive with. So women knowing this should start longer term planning in their early 20s (when their social value is highest) to get the best longer term results rather than spending them partying at bars. Successful men, who have spent their 20′s working hard planning for the future will generally choose a 20 year old than a 30 year old female to happily marry.
And this is why I love living in the 21st century! There are these lovely establishments known as sperm banks that are more than happy to help a girl out. Or if you don’t like the idea of a feterlizng a strangers’ runt there is the option of asking a good friend if they are willing. Or simply choose your victim, do the mandatory procedure and just unbeknownst to him pinch a little of his love juice . . . ;0
Thats stupid cause I know the girl who posted this and at 30 she still looks like she’s in her twenties. She looks a lot better than some of the 20 year olds I see all the time!
LMAO! How many successful men do you know who are married to 20-year-olds? The late teen to early 20s women are to fool around with, not marry them. Stats show that most men will marry about 2-5 years younger on average. Not the big age gap all you losers think you will have once your 40s and 50s.
Very true !!!
Girl I got u! I know exactly what u mean by gurls acting immature on facebook about their boyfriends! I see stupid girls all the time change their status to “in a relationship” after going on ONE date with a boy and saying they Love him after just a few days. They fight and make drama all during the relationship until it blows up bad and then they get into another one and start the same shit all over again. They just scared to be by themselves so they got to have a man with them all the time just so they can have a life and feel good about themselves. U are awesome for not buying into the hype and bein secure with urself!
Seriously, THANK YOU to the person who submitted this post. And I am so glad that Nik agrees. I’m 24, single, and have no desire to be in a relationship right now. I also have no desire to ever have kids – that’s right, ever. When I tell people this, I either get a response like, “ha-ha, you’re just young, trust me, you’ll have kids one day!” or, “then what are you going to do with your life if you never have kids?” and I cannot tell you how much both of these responses infuriate me. I, like the original poster, am focused on getting a second university degree, moving up on the career ladder, and hopefully one day becoming self-employed with the opportunity to travel the world on my own watch and not have to worry about leaving kids behind or taking them along with me. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely have nothing against women who choose to have kids and become stay-at-home moms, but I do have a problem with these same mothers and to-be mothers judging me based on my personal life decisions. People either look down upon me and think I’m selfish for not wanting kids, or they only feel bad for me because they think I’ll die old and alone. I completely agree with the OP – it’s time for our culture to accept the fact that women the world over aren’t popping out infants in their early 20s anymore. Most won’t until their late 20s or early 30s. Some won’t until much later, and a few won’t ever. Presently, more females than males are graduating with degrees from universities and colleges, so the balance is already shifting. Wait another decade or two and I think (or at least I hope) that women who are career driven or choose to be single or choose not to have kids will become more the norm. Ladies, you do not need a man or child to complete you. You are your own person and you can do so many great things with your life. Get married, have kids, but don’t let either of these keep you from being successful and independent in YOUR life.
Ladies, I love you. I needed this right now. I’ve been taking a lot of flak for openly not wanting kids (the amount of women who insist it’s a woman’s ‘duty,’ how much I’ll ‘regret it,’ and how I’ll ‘understand when I grow up’), not caring about forcing finding a man, and focusing on my education and career in my mid-twenties. Been focusing on finding happiness and living a full life — heaven forbid someone take their own path to find that. Thanks, again!
good for you. sounds like those other women are jealous and wishing they had what you had. so they pick on you
I agree with you completely. Even though I’m in a relationship (and plan on getting married in the future, having kids, etc) I know EXACTLY what you’re going through. The truth of the matter is that some women are judgmental bitches that want to make you feel bad with whatever it is you are going through. I know TONS of miserable married people. So I think that those miserable judgmental bitches are only picking on you because their lives suck and they wish they could be single again. Also, bitches are nosey and retarded these days. “If it didn’t get posted on facebook, it didn’t happen”. I don’t believe that but that’s how 90% of our stupid population now thinks unfortunately.
Not everyone is meant to have kids. Not everyone is meant to get married early in life. Not everyone is meant to get married…period. We’re all different and I wish more people would respect women such as yourselves.
Just stay positive and don’t let those people bring you down. You’re doing the right thing…as long as you’re happy. Good luck & God Bless you!
Live your life.
awe,
Dear poster- u need to move to a big city. Places like NYC and LA, ppl dont think like this. Theres alot of people who have focused on their career first and are delaying other events in todays age. 30 isnt too old for kids already- thats retarded. Do whats best for you. Who cares about others think.
While I don’t think any girl needs to have kids at all — biology is biology. Women lose 75% of their fertility by 28 yrs old. Google it. \
The reason 45 year old women are constantly in the news for having babies, is because it’s so unusual. Educate yourself, if only through google. But you might actually consider speaking to a doctor.
My mom had my sister in her 30′s. She was born perfectly healthy. Many people have their second child at a later date which is in the 30′s. Also, theres lots of people having children at later dates. Look at the celebs that are having kids way later even? In todays day and age, the advances in medicine help.
go buy ya some
Well said!
And as for those all those old twats giving u the gears; take heed in knowing that their comments are a mere product of their raging envy . . . They got conned into becoming another brick in the wall and when they see a woman who decided not to sell her soul for some pathetic male and forever destroy her cooch bearing a hoard of bratty offspring, evidence of their uninspired choice of lifestyle, I suppose it might strike a few grumpy nerves . . .
cleave it like a beaver mrs.ward
Amen Nik, amen.
I think we need to be friends, OP, and I. Seriously. I’m going through the same issue(s) as you and I’m only 24! EVERYONE is pressuring me to get start dating, immediately get engaged, and settle down. They’ve even told me that 1) I should be married by 28 and 2) waiting until I’m 30 will lower my chances of securing a quality mate. I’m in graduate school right now and have NO room / time for distractions from a relationship. I casually date, which I have absolutely no qualms with, but the pressure to take every date to the relationship level is too much. I like being able to go out with friends, do as I want, see whoever I want any day of the week, and not answer to anyone! Live your live, OP, and you’ll be fine! Keep having fun!
SHES A LESBIAN I HAVE DECIDED AND BITTER
Now now . . . I’m a lesbian and bitter, certainly not! How could I be? I wake up everyday next to my hot gf where we then greet eachother with a little hanky panky
and four orgasms a piece later, head out for the day from our screaming-brat free home. I should be bitter though, not having a smelly, hairy man to wake up next to. He can burp, scratch and tak about he wants to realive his morning wood, which will likely consist of ether starting then finishing before you can even figure out if he’s in ur guts yet or, as per often, not being able to ‘rise to the occasion’ and utilize the only thing that makes a man worth keeping around. :/
Kinda thinking i dodged a bullet here! =P Plus, it feel so awesome knowing I get more tail than all of my straight male friends put together ever will! XD
And you’re a faggot misogynist. All the eggs in the world decided.
Men dont need women neither they cost us to much money
Well, clearly none of that money was spent on English classes.
Not “neither”, but either. Not “to”, but too. Presumably, anyone w/ an IQ over 70 knows the difference. You have nothing to offer anyone. Go breed w/the bar trash you hang out w/, and raise your welfare recipients in peace.
Sweetie? In the year 2012, you are 100% correct.
Marriage and family in the 21st century is a full on nightmare.
I was married 30 years ago, trust me, I HAD IT GOOD, but in the end when my entire family all succumbed to the Kardashian Syndrome, well… I am alone now and I can honestly tell you – ALONE is the new benchmark for luxurious living.
Pure luxury.
No more DreamKiller to wage war with EVERY DAY – and no more 20-something DOLTS (my kids) who honestly think that the sun rises and sets because they rule the world.
No more.
Just peace and quiet… and my new high rise “loft style” condo, view, no walls, and a toilet with the tank mounted high on the wall with a pull chain to flush – and NO DOOR for the toilet or shower. It’s all out in the open.
Now why would I do that?
Simple.
No woman would ever hang out there, let alone stay over.
Cuz, by the time she needs to pee…
She will simply have to go home.
Thank you.
This is where I start getting a little bit confused by my own sex. Why would you not want to recreate another life? When you look at women as something powerful because of the fact we can carry a child creating it within our body for 9 months.. the fact of having a man by your side or having to conform to something doesn’t even matter in your mind. It’s about a new life in the world. Some women have become really messed up with these money values and are letting go of their soft, kind and loving nature. It’s not being sexist, it is proven that women are becoming more agressive, angry, and hateful. I am a feminist, as much as I am about making things equal, I think it’s important women always have their loving side. Which ah, sorry lady but you are angry.
The world is already overpopulated… women who don’t want to have children are doing everyone else a favour and shouldn’t be made to feel guilty for not giving in to outdated societal norms.
Maybe when she finds love, she will want to recreate. Its natural .My older sister was exactly like this, then found love and within 6 months was pregnant. Stayed home for a few years and is now finishing her nursing degree part time while being a full time mom. Who says u cant be a mom and pursue your goals???? Is there only one way out htere? No theres not. Thats ignorant thinking. Both on the peoples ends who judge and on her end for closing herself off from opening up to love.
Women do not “recreate” you idiot, they “procreate”. Two entirely different things.
And I don’t think their is a woman on this site who would suggest that women not procreate, if that’s what they want. It’s a beautiful thing for those that want it.
It’s just not for everyone and the idiotic, moronic 20 year olds that suggest that that IS the role of women (and women are worthless w/o it), that are the true misogynist idiots.
Those girls are built for nothing other than sex and procreation — they’ll never add anything to humanity and neither will their stupid, ugly kids.
You are judgmental (and we emphasize the word mental just for you) and anger exudes from your tone- touché genius. Hey, ever hear the one about the fox that cut their tail?
She sounds like the perfect woman.
This is because most women are wired to be dependent on a man. It’s human nature. Women aren’t as easily independent as men are and need human companionship more than they do. They start getting worried and desperate around age 30 if they don’t have a man already, and if you don’t have someone at age 30, it’s frowned upon. One the reasons why there are so many divorces….because the women settle for someone they aren’t that into, but they don’t care because they are desperate. Good for you for rising above that….more women should.
so let me get this straight…you’re a private, mature adult yet you just posted your entire life story on a public website meant for slander ? Aside from that, if you were really okay with the way your life is, why would you feel any need to justify yourself on a public website (and ask for the opinion of a man who is most definitely not qualified to give it)? It’s great that youre trying to focus on your career but I believe that true happiness is achieved through balance…being able to balance a loving relationship and a career is one of the most amazing things in my opinion. No one is saying that you NEED to get a boyfriend but you sound as if youre distancing yourself on purpose from people who may be a great match for you and your lifestyle (you will never know as you are not giving them a chance). One of our instincts as human beings is to form relationships with people. It is a universal thing and you cannot escape it. Also there is a lot of research with regards to relationships and one of our fundamental needs as human beings is to feel like we belong and to feel as if someone cares about us. If you are pushing people away because you want to “have fun” you will end up alone as you are not creating any sort of bond. Also I’m really annoyed by this idea that you can only have fun if youre single. That is completely false…some of the best times i’ve ever had have been when I was in a serious relationship and I’m sure thats true for many people. Anyway, try to keep an open mind and stop sounding bitter…if you’re annoyed by your friends then get new single friends. problem solved.
I never said I don’t want to have relationships with people or that I can only have fun when I am single. I have dated plenty of men and I plan to do so once again once I get through this major transition I’ve got going on in my life right now. My point is that too many other women around me expect me to make it my Number One priority to ALWAYS have a man–ANY man–at my side at all times because they believe that a single woman is “pathetic” or “worthless”. I’m not going to shirk off on my job, my educational plans, or any of the other stuff going on right now just so that I can focus 100% on going out in the hunt for a man to chain to my side. I prefer to let the men come to me on their own anyway, and I am doing just fine on my own without one at the moment anyway. If I seem “angry” or “bitter” to you, it’s because I’m sick and tired of having to constantly hear idiots like them make asinine comments & insults about my marital or parental status…which btw is PERSONAL and NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS. You never see me going around sticking my nose in other people’s private business asking them “So why aren’t you married?? When are you going to have kids??”
And to Huh, this part was edited out of my original post, but I never stated that I don’t ever want to have kids. However if I do have children someday, I’ve decided I only want to have ONE. That’s about as much as I know I could handle, I’m just not cut out for raising a litter of kids. However please do not say that all women are meant to have kids. It’s very insulting because I know many women who have stated they do not EVER want kids, and their choice does not make them any less of a woman than one who has 5 kids. To sum it all up, this post is about personal choices and how people need to RESPECT them and BUTT OUT of other people’ lives instead of insisting that they must live exactly as they do or else something is “wrong” with them.
You are an idiot. You stated “my parental and marital status is no ones buisness” yet you submitted it on a popular public website. You are a hypocrite, you stated “.people need to respect others decisions and butt out of other people’s buisness” yet you clearly are not respecting women who “hunt for men” you are not staying out of their buisness. Your also trashing women with more than one child “you don’t want to raise a litter of kids”. Trust me that will never be a problem for you because no man wants to have kids or marry a bitter hag such as yourself.
Calm the fuck down already, she never said there was anything wrong with having more than one kid. She merely said SHE does not wish to have more than one child. It’s just her personal preference! It’s amusing how the breeders always get so offended by the mere mention of anyone who doesn’t want to breed “a litter” of kids like the OP said haha!
the breeders? lmao. For some people- having a family- thats their choice, to each their own. But whoever said some women are meant just for that couldnt be more right. They probably failed at career, failed at school , so what else is there for them to fulfill? Im sure this is a big part. Noone will admit it thou haha
The amount of women I know who have a good(i mean well paying job) And a family with kids. I can barely count on one hand. Enuf said.
The OP isn’t “trashing” anyone Dumbass, she’s just saying what she wants for herself. i don’t read anywhere that she said its not ok to have several kids, only that she doesn’t feel she has what it takes to raise more than one. What’s wrong with that? sounds to me like you had a bunch of brats you weren’t prepared for and youre jealous that she is smart enough not to make that mistake. why else would her comment have struck such a nerve with you?
LMFAO!!
Says her marital status and parental status is no ones business
Posts a pointless and hypocritical essay on The Dirty for everyone to see about her marital and parental status
Hey Op do me a favor and off yourself
You’re an utter shame
I left that comment and i do not have any kids. I find it offensive that OP refers to babies as “liters” were talking about human beings not dogs. Wow….you must be a evil person to be such a baby hater. I love kids even though I’m not ready to be a mommy quite yet.
I don’t hate children and there is nothing wrong with wanting to have only one child. It has no effect on anyone else or the number of children anyone else wants to have. I don’t have what it takes to raise 3, 4, or more kids and at least I can see that and admit that about myself and make the right choices accordingly. So get your panties out of a twist.
You refered to babies as “liters”. I do not have kids but I would never compare them to dogs. I hope you never have kids. Let’s end your baby hating genes now.
Having half a dozen kids in rapid succession that you can’t properly take care of is pretty much like having a litter of puppies. It’s all about quality not quantity. Don’t like it? Well then too bad.
I know plenty of people who raised three amazing kids, that are not animals. I think this website has too many bitter single women.
I was 30 once, too. And I was childless (and proud of it!) at the time, too.
Nothing will break your heart more than not be able to conceive.
Working out, sleeping late…these things are nice, but they won’t stop your eggs from getting older
After 30, things go downhill fast…so start looking! The biological clock ticks away at this very moment.
It probably isn’t a great feeling when you regret having children either, and knowing you didn’t do it for the right reasons.
Actually no.
50.
And then it’s down hill.
MANY women in their 20′s have problems too. It has more to do with individual health than overarching generalization that does no one a service. So many examples of women in their 30′s who have kids all our friends did- but then again they are university educated successful and actually found men to marry at the “old maid” age. Idiots calling women in their 30s old, save the insults for later jerks, when people actually are old.
Get all the 30 year olds off this site. LAME.
I just wanted to say nick richie is a Douchebag, really who pretends there a player but is married to white trash on the side
Wait…first off, you’re a 30 year old single woman who is still using the Dirty? Lmao!!
Second, the same one who claims such independence needs Nik’s verification for your views/aka bitchy rant? What happened to being an independent woman who don’t need ‘no mans opinion’ to justify yourself? Lmao
No wonder you’re single.
Amen Sista!!!
Wordly?Worldly!
If you dont have any plans to have kids its ok I dont see anything wrong at all. That is a very smart move on your part. I know somebody who chose to have kids past her 40 because she was working very hard to support all her 5 siblings throughout their college life because their parents died. It was worth it for her, 5 nurses more in the family.
Im not really sure if you plan to have kids since I read in your statement that “right now its my ‘me-time’” but if you do (since you’re 30) it would be advised that you try to have some soon because the risks of having abnormal chromosomes in relation to maternal age is high. You see she had 3 miscarriages, and only one child at 47. The chances of her offspring having an extra chromosome was high. She was very grateful her child was perfectly healthy.
I can’t help but laugh out loud at the posters who have stated that getting pregnant instantly becomes difficult at age 30. You sound just like the mosey haters who try to tell me I will never be able to have a child just because I’m 30. LOL! I laugh at this because I know way too many women to count who had their first child after 30…some even in their 40′s!! Some of them needed medical assistance to conceive and some did it completely naturally…accidentally if you will. LOL! Having children later in life must be a genetic trait in my family because just about every female in my family had their first child around age 35 and had the last child in their early 40′s. NONE of the women in my family needed any fertility assistance either. They all easily and naturally got pregnant in their 30′s and 40′s. I am a VERY healthy woman who is in the best of shape and didn’t begin menstruating until I was almost in high school, so I’m quite sure I am in no danger of “all my eggs drying up”. Hell I’m just getting started, I’m nowhere near the finish line of fertility!! LOL! So please do not try to use any of your “You better hurry up and get knocked up NOW or else you meet will” scare tactics on me, because they won’t work with me. I’m not buying it. I’ve met far too many women who got pregnant at age 37 and older to believe a falsehood like that. People are getting healthier and living longer nowdays…it wouldn’t surprise me if women gettin pregnant in their 50′s became common in a few decades.
Amen sister!
Ahahhaha wow and I thought only my age groups’ dumb lifeless 20 yr old peers would really care about Nik’s opinion on anything. I read this site for humor only. I’d rather take a squirrels advice and tell him my life story as opposed to nik.
And here you are, single 30 and living the life right?….yet you have time to contradict yourself like this and make women sound completely stupid.
From What ive read You are probably pretty ugly and antisocial and yes hun your eggs are ticking time bombs. You’re just gonna be a lonely old dried up hag most likely.
And thirty and still using the dirty? Embarrassing
ANY man with any personal success and value, will never date an older woman. Especially not marry. the older you get, the men your age date younger. we don’t want a 30-plus, aging, dry-egged bitch. So your independence will probably kick you in the ass longterm.
who do you think you are? sorry, but most women don’t care for old shrivelled up balls belonging to a viagra-popping zombie unless you’re talking about dumb brainless whores who drool over fat wallets. If you’re what most men think like, then i’d be totally happy staying single and doing my own thing
I’m all for feminism and waiting for the right moment, however YOU SHOULD FREEZE SOME EGGS!! You don’t want to be 37 and unable to conceive. Or even have a child with down syndrome.
This sounds like a lonely single woman ranting because the only thing she has in life is a “degree”. Actually I have a degree, a great job, and I’m married. Did I forget to mention I’m 24. Me and my husband climbed the success later together. I would never put piece of paper or stupid job before the love of my life. A woman’s first priority is taking care or her house and husband before her career. I guess not everyone will agree, but stop hating on people who are able to have a happy successful career and marriage. We can’t all be that fabulous.
” A woman’s first priority is taking care or her house and husband before her career”
Did you just time travel here from the 1950s??? Please go back – we don’t need your backwards mysoginistic way of thinking.
I think we need some good old fashioned values back
So a college degree is nothing to be proud of unless you’re also married?? Please. Get off your high horse honey. You’re not the only married woman with a degree, you’re just one in a million. And with the divorce rate as high as it is your husband could very likely get sick of you and leave you before you’re even 30. I see it happen all the time, ESPECIALLY with couples who married as young as you did. You are by no means 100% safe and secure in your marriage. You sound like one of those immature bitches who likes to brag about being married like its some amazing rare accomplishment.
Actually it is a great accomplishment, I have it all. I’m happy I do. You sound very jealous of me. When i come home from work I have a loving man to share my life with. No kids yet…actually me and my husband do not believe in divorce. I am an “immature bitch” you sound like a lonely bitter 30 year old that no one loves. Must suck to be you. Have fun dying alone. Btw I never said a college degree is something to be proud of unless your married, I was making the point that you can have it all. School and a relationship, not one or the other. Learn how to read you old hag.
Uhhh, I’m not the one who posted that comment and NO I am NOT jealous of you in any way. Your “lonely old hag who nobody loves” bit actually made me laugh out loud because it couldn’t be any further from the truth. I have a great circle of friends whom I adore and they seem to love me just as much. And even though I am not married like you, I date men from time to time. The only point I’ve been trying to make here is that I think it’s ridiculous that people think there is something “wrong” with me just because I go through intervals where I am not dating anyone. Women need to learn that there is absolutely nothing wrong with not having a man at their side every minute of their lives. I have watched countless girls settle for douchebags they didn’t truly love and then rush to marry them young because they believed they *HAD* to do so by a certain age. And it turned out to be a disaster for them in the long run–a short-lived busted up marriage with a couple of young children caught in the middle. I’m VERY thankful I have managed to dodge that type of disaster! If you are truly all that you say you are–happily married with an education–then good for you! I hope it all works out for you, because it doesn’t seem to be going well for most people I see anymore. It’s really sad. Right now I am enjoying my freedom and all of the possibilities that are open to me in life, and I can assure you that one day when I do die, it most certainly won’t be alone but rather surrounded by my loved ones.
Why did you even post on here? What was the point? Who’s validation do you want?
If u have a good job and a husband and kids- congrats to u. The amount of women with a good, well paying job And all the above I cant count on one hand.
My most successful female friends(making real $ and living well) dont have a family yet. Funny how that works.
Everyone defines their own path and their own happiness. I want to get married and have kids while a close friends loves her career, her money and freedom to travel all she wants etc. There seems to be more and more women like her in this century
To the OP, don’t let this stupid bitch try to make you feel bad about your life. This bitch’s bragging about how wonderful her life is reeks of desperation. Anyone who wants to believe that someone is “jealous” of their life is usually living in misery. Her life probably sucks. She probably works at a minimum wage job and then comes home everyday to an unhappy husband who is probably cheating on her and looking for any means of escape from his miserable trapped life with her because she won’t allow the poor schmuck to ever divorce her controlling crazy ass. One day he’ll suddenly run off with another woman who isn’t such a crazy stupid bitch and then she will find herself divorced and “dying alone”. Nothing in life is ever certain and just because you have a ring on your finger doesn’t guarantee that your man is 100% happy or that he won’t eventually get sick of your bullshit.
Frst off. Amen Nik.
Second. Dear poster; u just havent found true love yet. When you do- and its real on both ends, the man will be supportive of your career and school goals. While pregnancy risks do skyrocket after 35, y’all are making assumptions that they couldn’t adopt or use a surrogate later on. Who cares- this is the 21st century. Girl you’re definitely not alone. Some of my gfs who got married in their early twenties are now single mothers bc they rushed into shit. No thank you on that note
I remember on the first day of my Biochemistry class in college, the first PowerPoint slide that my professor showed was a question which said: what is the main purpose of an organism? The students had all kinds of answers, such as happiness, health, able to acquire food and etc. However, none was correct. The correct answer was that the main purpose of life is to reproduce! I understand some people do not feel the need to fulfill the fundamental organismal instinct, but please do not be smug and criticize others for doing so. Your tone clearly indicated that you look down on people who want to find love and reproduce during their reproductive prime. However, what they are doing is beneficial to the human race and is driven by normal human instinct. Not them, but you are the weird, the anomaly.
Actually true and you are one of the few smart commenters on here
Thank you for saying that.
Wait – “a woman should never be a slave to a man”? Says the man who’s goal is to manipulate every bimbo in America to look like a blonde plastic freak?
And to the OP – THANK YOU! I could not agree more! Though I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years, I have absolutely no plans of rushing in to marriage or having children any time soon – not until my later 20′s AT LEAST (and I’m 21 right now)! I don’t understand what the rush is to pop kids out before 25! I don’t mean to sound negative, and I’m not against this in any way, but more women need to go live and enjoy their lives more (even if you’re in a relationship)! I’m hoping to go on to grad school in a couple years after I’m done my bachelor’s and just travel all around the world and enjoy life by taking it easy with my boyfriend before we really settle down. We’re both independent individuals but very close at the same time. I’m tired of people telling me to finally get married and have a child! I’d have to be stupid to put a stop in my education/career/life and have a kid right now. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with WAITING until you’re ready to take on such huge decisions and waiting until the time feels right!
I see absolutely nothing wrong with women staying single past their late 20s, being single is the absolute greatest time to develop on a personal and emotional level! Especially when you’re a mature woman! I told myself, that if there is ever an instance that things don’t work out with my current relationship (which I hope they do since it’s going great, but you never know!), I’m buying a one-way ticket to just go travel around the world alone. I see women almost forcing themselves into relationships which just results in a false sense of happiness! Women need to realize that there’s more to life than just popping out babies and getting married – we have so many opportunities in this era, it’d be stupid to waste it all away. But I guess whatever floats one’s boat!
Just because your married does not mean your life stops and your wasting your life. I still do whatever I want minus going to clubs and talking to other guys. You can still achieve your goals. Studies show married people live longer and are happier than single people. However it shows people with kids are less happy than people without. Search the web
Don’t listen to these fools, if you want a kid, you can always adopt one…it’s a lot better than the selfish act of creating your own kid. Think about it, there are millions of unwanted kids that grow up in orphanages in the welfare system, but people continue to rear their own because of purely selfish and racist reasons of only wanting their own, having themselves copied, carrying bloodlines, etc. And simply creating a copy of them self that can satisfy urges of being wanted unconditionally by a helpless child.
Besides, there are 7 billion humans on planet earth. 7 billion…we can’t even feed half of the world’s population, imagine how even more selfish it is to bear your own child…for what reason? Lady, if you don’t have any kids ever, it will not make any difference to anyone or anything ever. Why do you want to contribute to the growing population issues? Why do you want to subject another human being to the cruelty of this world, to feel pain and hate, to work 80% of their life and be someone’s corporate slave, another tax payer?
I bet you, this chick is ugly and fat. That’s why she is alone haha Plus, she is very jealous because no guy wants to be with her. I bet you that she wants to be Married and have Babies…
30 IS NOT OLD AT ALL. Maybe in the little town of St.Louis but to us real cities it is not at all. That is when you get going in the professional world and really move up or get going. People are single into their late thirties where I live. Really all the posts in St. Louis seem too cowardly and high school-ish you if you don’t mind me saying. It seems too many women there delusional and desperate to find a guy or sleep with 60 or make up that they are pregnant just to win a man. It also seems there are a lot of bitter women there too trying to take the next one down or act vicious behind other’s backs like in Mean Girls. Your small town needs to wake up because that’s not life. It’s fine if you met your best friend and start a life together everyone’s different, but BY NO MEANS IS 30 OLD. Whoever said that has a very OLD mentality.
I am a hot single woman and I do not want kids. I am getting married to a billionaire and he is ok with surrogacy
But remember … “there will always be someone younger” just saying. Dont get your gears grinded. I just stated the truth.
Every woman wants someone to love and appreciate her. Do not be rude to married people just because you have not found that yet, or makes you look jealous and pathetic. When I got married my single best friends got sooo jealous they told me that to my face.
it sounds more like the married people are the ones being rude to the poster just because she hasn’t made the same choices they did. they are the ones pestering her to hurry up and settle down when she has made it clear to them that she’s not ready and it’s none of their business.
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for posting this!!!! I couldn’t agree with you more! I’ve had 4 serious boyfriends and every time I begin seeing someone all of my friends hound me about when we are going to move in together or get engaged. Hello?!? When I’ve only been seeing a boy for a few weeks marriage and living together are the last thing on my mind! Everyone is in such a rush and making stupid decisions because of it! To the poster, keep doing what you’re doing and don’t let anyone try to rush you into anything or dictate how you and the men you date should behave with each other. If you like to keep the details of your relationships private instead of blabbing about it on FB, then thats just fine. The fools on this thread who say you are “jealous” of them because they are married are the exact type of women you describe in your post. They’re the ones who are obsessed with the idea of having a man next to them all the time and define themselves by their marital status by boasting “I’m married, I’m married, I’m married” all the time. They think anyone who isn’t tied down like them is a lonely hag because they will never know what it’s like to be a confident secure woman who is content to do her own thing from time to time. They probably settled for the first man who hit on them because they were so desperate to get married as young as possible. They’re probably bored out of their mind by now and envy your freedom and fun! Any man you date will appreciate you for not being up in his ass all the time like these clingy twats are with their poor suckers
If you are 30 and going on the dirty for life advice than you are a major idiot. Um the dirty is funny when your 20 and 21. 30???? It’s time to be mature and grow up. Your obviously a very insecure woman if you need validation from a silly Blogger.
Love a childless non man hating 20 year old.
Let me make it clear that I am not jealous of married people. In fact, one of the first sentences I wrote was that I am not prepared to make that kind of huge jump right now. It’s not something that should be entered into lightly. To the ones who are married or have kids, good for you and I hope it all works out for you. To each his own. My whole concern is that I just don’t understand why other people feel it is so important to try to badger me into living the same life they do and making the same choices they make. I never understood why it matters so much to them, because I know I couldn’t care less about what anyone else chooses to date, marry, or procreate with. And I certainly don’t go around hounding my married friends to get divorced and be single again just like me. I’ve already said I’m perfectly happy with where I’m at right now. And I gotta be honest, it’s a lot of fun being able to flirt with any hot guy I want since I’m not committed to just one person right now.
I can pretty much do as I please when I want, where I want, and with whomever I want, and that freedom is an amazing feeling!! I’m in no hurry for it to end. 
It’s also worth mentioning that most if not all of the women who badger me during the times when I’m not dating anyone are all in unhappy toxic relationships themselves. Many of them are dealing with physical abuse, cheating, being 100% dependent on their men for money, food, & shelter, raising several children by different fathers, etc. I’ve also noticed that they all willingly stay in these bad relationship because “having someone who loves them” is more important to them than keeping themselves and their children safe from harm. They would rather stay in a toxic relationship and be unhappy than be single and happy. It’s really sad. Rushing into relationships and always needing to have a man certainly hasn’t worked out well for them, so I’m confused as to why they would push me to make the same bad choices they are making. That’s when I realized that misery loves company. I think they realize they have screwed up big time and they want everyone else to be miserable and trapped right along with them. That would explain why the women I know who ARE in healthy relationships and are truly happy and secure with themselves never badger me or anyone else to always be dating someone or to hurry up and settle down ASAP. They’re too happy to give a shit about what anyone else chooses to do with their lives.
And just for the record, I’ve got my eye on two gorgeous hotties who I will probably begin casually seeing once I finish all my important business first. But am I gonna go into it all misty-eyed thinking one of them is going to be my Knight In Shining Armor who will rescue me and make me his little wife?? Hell no!! I just like to go with the flow and enjoy the ride!! (No pun intended)
BUT I DO NOT THINK ANY ONE WILL EVER WANT TO MARRY YOU. YOU SOUND LIKE A SELFISH, INSECURE, SLOOT WHO SPENDS WAYYY TO MUCH TIME ON THE DIRTY. YOUR SINGLE BECAUSE NO ONE WANTS YOU. YOU LOST THIS WAR AWHILE AGO.
Sorry fool, but if you knew how to read and had carefully read that post, then you would have seen where I wrote that I have two men interested in me right now and that I will probably begin dating one or both of them sometime in the near future. I just refuse to follow the lead of so many other women around me and try to rush men into giving me an engagement ring. Where I come from, women start dating a guy (usually the first douchebag who pays a little attention to them) and then suddenly a month later they are married and pregnant…and then divorced a year and a half later. No thank you!! I’ll take my time and do things the right way thank you very much. And from large number of posters, both women and men, who agree with my stance, I’d say I won this debate from the get-go.
First off you lost. You use the word fool? Hahahahaha wait…. Hahaha. Ok let me collect myself. Two men interested in you, oh wow two! Hahahah Ummm if you were anything special you would have a lot more. Where are you from? Some hick farm.
I’m a woman, and although you shouldn’t take so much offense from catty bitches, they have a point (kind of).
It’s not a woman thing to want children/marriage. It’s a human thing. Men want to settle down and have kids too, who doesn’t want to make their own family?
It’s definitely not a life requirement, but it sure gives your life fulfillment. If you only live to work what’s the point? I work to live!
You need new friends!! As a mother of 2, I say enjoy your freedom and youth!! And good for you for not settling for any losers.
As a man who doesn’t want kids, I’d love to meet a lady like the OP. I don’t give a rat’s turd about being old with no kids, all the little bastards do is drag you down financially and in every other way. Nothing pisses me off more than couples who (educated or not), marry early, start popping out kids, then are divorced by 30 or 35. Those are the fucking losers, not those of us who chose to avoid all that brainwashed induced crap about family.
“Those are the fucking losers, not those of us who chose to avoid all that brainwashed induced crap about family.” – Wow. Exactly. But for them its okay. I completely agree with this statement.