THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, you seem like a wordly person who has a good perspective on a variety of matters, so let me ask your opinion on this: Why are we in 2012 STILL under the delusion that the most important matter in a woman’s life is that she has a man and children?? I thought the 1950’s decade was long gone, so why are we still letting the outdated rules and values of that decade influence us? I’m a 30 year old single woman, no husband or kids yet, and I can’t tell you how much nasty crap I take from other women all the time because of it. According to them, I’m a “pathetic lonely old spinster” with no value in life. I’ve even been told that I’m already “too old” to ever be able to conceive children and that if I can’t ever have children then I am “not a real woman” and have “no purpose” in life. What the f*ck kind of ass-backwards sexist thinking is THAT?!?!? I even get ridiculed during the times when I’m not dating anyone, because apparently being single and not having a man at my side all the time is a cardinal sin of womanhood. I’m not currently dating anyone at this moment because I’m going through a major transition in life right now where dating someone would be pointless and a distraction, so I’m waiting until later when the time is right. You’d think I was breaking some kind of huge cultural taboo by choosing to remain single for the time being…except they insist that I’m involuntarily single because “no man wants me” because they can’t wrap their feeble minds around the idea that women have the right and ability to CHOOSE to be single at any time. And during the times when I AM dating someone, I get accused of “making it up” for not making a big enough public show about it. In order to “prove” you are dating someone, apparently you have to make a big mushy show about it by posting photos of you and the guy all over Facebook and making love-sick status updates professing your undying love for him everyday. Whatever. I’m a private, mature adult and I think it’s ridiculous that I’m supposed to act like a 13-year-old in the throes of fairytale puppy-love in order for people to accept that I have a boyfriend. I’ve even seen women in their 40’s act that way when they are dating a man, and it’s absolutely pathetic. It’s as if their entire world and all of their happiness in life rests upon that man. Not smart. Getting married and having a bunch of babies is NOT something I am ready to do at this point in my life. Honestly, it just doesn’t sound that appealing and I’m not yet ready to give up all of my freedom and fun. Right now I’m more focused on getting another college degree, climbing the career ladder so that I can make as much money for myself as I possibly can, travelling around to cool places, and just relaxing and having a good time while I still can. I don’t have to rely on a man to keep a roof over my head or buy me the things I need in life, and I don’t have any kids to worry about keeping fed, clothed, and sheltered. And because I haven’t yet had kids and am free to work out and take good care of myself, I look and feel 10 years younger than my actual age. Right now is my “me time”. I’m not opposed to dating anyone or having a partner to share my fun times in life with, but I’m not going to obsess over finding a man or take the first one who comes along like everyone expects me to. And yet somehow this choice makes me “pathetic” and “worthless”??? I don’t understand. So can we all just drag ourselves into the 21st Century already and leave the 1950’s opinions and values in the past where they belong?? A woman is NOT required to have a man at her side every day of her life in order to be happy, successful, or of any value, nor is she required to procreate before the age of 25!! So even though you are married with kids, I’d like to hear your take on this, Nik.
I have always said from day 1, a woman should never be a slave to a man. If we could all take the mental chip of “loneliness” out of our brains the world would be a better place. Love is why we fight.- nik