THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, here’s one that needs to be addressed. This dude is the worst! All he does is party all the time and dance around and sh*t. Every time I see him at a party on the south side, he’s having way more fun than me, and I’m pretty sure he’s sober. BLECH! He is super good looking, too. Like WAYYYY better looking than anyone else around here, and he doesn’t even try. He seriously has the flyest clothes I’ve ever seen. Probably because he has a personal stylist or something, that son of a b*tch. Last week, I saw him at a party. He was in the kitchen drinking PEPSI!. He didn’t even care if anyone saw him. He was just standing there, with his super refreshing drink, like it was normal or something. HE EVEN OFFERED ME A SIP! All he does is party and bullsh*t, like he’s biggie smalls or something. Someone needs to put him on blast for all of this. I hate that it has to be me, but someone has to do it.

This self post won’t help you seal the deal Airbo.- nik