Please Post My Addiction Story
THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I am a 22 year old new mother who was hooked on heroin/oxys/roxys/anything I could get my hands on to fend off those horrible withdrawals… my story is almost identical to those you posted. I played softball in high school and ended up with a torn rotator cuff. My doc, just like the others, started me on loratabs and norcos which quickly spiraled out of control into a full blown addiction. I’m sure because of underlying problems I had from child hood trauma. After being fed tabs to oxys by my dr. I moved to NY from the midwest JUST BECAUSE I knew a dope dealer who would let me sleep with him for free heroin. So in 4 short years I went from being a B student, enjoyed my schools clubs and played sports (age 16) to being a complete junkie. I left everyone I knew and loved for this drug…at 21, after a year and a half of shooting up multiple times a day, I decided I needed to go back home because I knew I couldn’t continue living this way. Of course I conned some nice older man into funding my way home. I even conned someone into buying me a car… and that right there is just not me, I was completely a slave to my addictions. So, I ended up back at home with my mom, step father, and 18 year old brother. Now, even though I was coming home to get clean things don’t always go as planned. I ended up falling right back into my old patterns. So much so that my own mother had to tell me no more. I came back and instead of even trying to get clean I drug my own brother down with me. I started smoking pot with him, taking xanax and oxys, stealing, lying. I hate myself over this. He had a scholarship for football to a small college out here and he threw it all away because his older sister pulled him down to a place he should have never been. This was all may/summer 2011 at this point I ended up pregnant. My whole family begged me to get an abortion, which broke my heart. But how many times had I broken theirs?? So, I had to tell myself no more. Could I really end my own childs life because of my selfishness?? No. I could never live with myself. so, I did what I could. Researched. Talked to A LOT of doctors. And I was put on a medication called Subutex for the duration of my pregnancy. This is a medication people compare to methadone but it its nothing like it. Just like the other post stated I would score methadone when I couldn’t get my drugs, and if I took enough methadone I would get high. Subutex/Suboxone makes getting high impossible yet keeps withdrawl at bay. I am so thankful for this medication. People can say what they please but this saved my childs and my life. My son was born perfectly healthy, with no signs of withdrawl. I stayed clean from month 2 of my pregnancy. And am still clean 5 months after my son was born. Some people will counter that with but you still take Suboxone daily. Yes I do, but I am able to be the mother I want to be. I don’t wake up every morning wanting to die because I don’t have drugs. Im not sexually promiscuous. I AM TRULY HAPPY. Im not rash and crazy, and my mind is CLEAR. If not for pure determination on my part and Suboxone to aid in my fight, I feel I would be dead. I was telling my fiance the other daythat I started reading this site in 08 and I used to get mad reading what you had to say, but I was only mad because I knew it was true. So thank you nik richie for being the one to really tell me the truth.
Thank you for sharing your story. I hope other prego mothers with substance abuse issues take note.- nik
good for you
Careful w/subutext/suboxone . When its time to get off it, its a very long tedious process. Glad to hear your doing well.
I think it’s disgusting god allows people like you to have children so many others whomwant to can’t.
I think its discusting ur such a nasty person, theyre are a lot of other ppl that deserve ur hostility much more! Not someone whos trying to help others-
This topic really has nothing to do with “god” Keep youre religion out of it.
Thank you nik, for posting my story!!!I hope so much that it helps some one who is in a similar situation. @lg okay, you are entitled to your opinions.but you have not lived my life nor whats said up there is the full story. I migh,t have fd up but I try to make upfor it every second of my life., you grow up real quick when you lose a parent to suicide at a young age, but I have no one to blame but myself. Im TRYING to do my best, it is all I can offer. I pray you’re blessed with a child soon ?? I sence bitterness and,I hope and pray one day you can live with out those worthless.emotions..be happy!!
god bless you
just curious, how many mg of subutex were you taking while pregnant or when you gave birth?
Keep up the good work, ignore the haters and maybe join a support group in your area if you feel stressed:) Your story may give hope to other young women that adoption is better than an abortion if they are unable to raise the baby themselves. It isnt easy admitting that your a recovering drug addict but the truth will set you free and make your journey an easier one to travel, Good Luck to you and your precious baby!!
Yea but definition of a parent includes being nonselfish & putting your child first which is exactly what this new mother did. Ur baby thanks u. So many babys are born addicted to things bc their mothers dont even attempt to try. Good luck to u & i hope ur son is a reason to get clean completly or stay if u already are. Ur not stupid, uve just made unwise decisions, u are young & can change who u are from this point on. Help ur brother aswell, u can still make things right. A real loser doesnt even aknowledge the things they did were or are wrong. Sounds like u know the direction u want to go, just need to keep finding ur way there!
I still wonder how it is that a junkie’d, fucked out, sucked out whore can take a magic pill and somehow find a fiance and have a baby. I have a bit of a beer gut and can’t get a date to save my life. Women can have whatever they want regardless of aids, herpes, leper, sucked a million dongs, reamed out at every orifice ect…hashtag life not fair
Maybe the way you speak about women is the first clue to why u cant get a date, it would suck to be you:(
Ignore previous negative post!!! It takes guts to admit when your wrong and try to do something about it for your child and yourself…good for you!!! Good luck.
If i was your parent i would beat you up, you are terrible person, due to your adiction you get pregnant like wtf? I doubt that you have fiance, you prob dont know who is the father… You ruined your brothers life!!! Do you see how disguting that is?.. “im clean 5 months now” how selfish, you should get off that shit that you were taking , you should get 100% clean for your son and stay away from your brother he needs profesional help
The fact that you say if you were her parent you would beat her up just shows that you should NEVER have a child, good parents dont beat thier kids up, you idiot, sounds like maybe your still hitting the bad shit….
These stories are effing ridiculous. Its not a doctors fault to perscribe drugs to someone. Its the user who abuses them. For starters, people who get addicted to drugs, number 1 have an addictive personality. I was in the same boat who needed reconstructive knee surgery. My doc gave me some strong pain meds. But did I get addicted to them? Nope. Was I smart about how to use them responsibly? Yes I was. Its this posters damn fault they got addicted. And stupidly knocked up. In a way its good that you are clean. But for how long? How long til your new born is stressing you out to the point where you turn to drugs again? Come on people. I know sense isnt very common. But take a damn step back and look at the big picture of things before you make outragous actions.
Just because you did not become addicted does not mean that people who do have addictive personalities, everybody is different and everybodies story is different and maybe you should read up on the drug epidemic and the cause of it before you start talking like you know what the hell u are talking about. Yes, there are plenty of people who choose to use and abuse drugs but there are also many people who are prescribed drugs by thier doctors who keep them on the drugs for periods of time and it can cause addiction, has nothing to do with your personality.Pick up a book and learn something!
You’re a moron *thumbs up*
Keep going strong, babe. You’re fantastic. Anyone who acts like taking your subs in comparable to shooting up has no idea what they’re talking about.
I was on 3mgs but gave birth at 2 and now I’m on one.almost off of it!!:)
Good for you, keep up the great work and stay clean and positive:)
And to k, I understand where you’re coming from but when I became addicted I was 16. I had no idea what the dr was giving me would be just as bad as street drugs or even worse.I was very niave then and life happened
I can understand being niave at 16. But in a previous comment you said “you have to grow up really fast when you loose a parent to suicide” (which i couldnt even imagine the thought) Where were your grown up instincts then? Honestly, I am glad youre getting youre life in order. You have to put that little one first before yourself at all times. But like I said its the persons personality that makes the addiction. Not doctors.
bullshit… your baby would have been born addicted to suboxone, still would have experienced withdrawal.
And you know that because your a DR??? Post your doctorate degree, oh you dont have any, then quit acting like you know what the hell you are talking about…
Actually he’s 100% correct. Even though Sub is a great ‘SUBstitute’ for heroin or other opiates, it is also highly PHYSICALLY addictive. It takes roughly 6 months to get off Sub (example being 8 MG dosage) but even more time w higher dosages than 8 MG. Even so, such a far cry from the Devil’s drug called Methadone.
Me wonders how they weened that baby off the Sub. I’m asking this to the poster. Did the Pediatrician that delivered your baby know you were on Sub?
hmm, good story – looks like the only one not to walk away from this one was your brother… Oh well, collateral damage I suppose.
Good for you and keep up the good work:) Only the ignorant peope who do not understand how suboxone works are the ones that will post negative comments, and try to make you feel horrible:( The doctors are the ones that should be held accountable for putting people on strong narcotics and then expecting them to know when and how to wean themselves off before becoming addicted. The fact that you could have taken the easy way out and had an abortion but chose instead to get clean for your baby just shows what an amazing mom you are so pay no mind to the haters and continue to stay strong and stay clean:)
So you destroyed lives and are happy now? You couldn’t be any more selfish. Being a junkie and you brought a baby into the world because you are stupid and selfish. You blame everyone else for all your mistakes. You took advantage of strangers and your own family. You harmed the lives of your own family and then had a child to ruin their life too. Instead of taking control of and responsibility for your life you take a drug to replace another and call it a day. You are lazy, selfish, and a ticking time bomb for future child abuse. When do we get your brother’s addiction story? At least the doctor was trying to help you with the medication; you were just looking to destroy your own brother’s life and future. Now you’re living all smug with more blood on your hands than that doctor will ever have.
Lol revisiting this, doubt anyone else will but as I said I was on 2mg abd he showed absolutely no sign of withdrawls…I swear! Hah. and yea my ob and sub dr were aware of every thing!!
I am happy for you and congrats on your child, nothing beats the love of parenthood. However Subutex ruined my life, my business and marriage. I took a 9 year detour with this stuff and it was the most painful drug to get off. I was in withdrawal for 40 days and didnt sleep for 40 nights, kinda biblical. It is 40 times stronger than morphine and you can get just as high of this as anything else. So please dont kid yourself. I would have been much better to just man up. Blow liquids out of every orofice and curled up in a ball for 5 days. Do you and your child a favor and get off it while you still can. Love