THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik this redheaded loser posts ads on craigslist because he can’t find a chick. He’s 24 and hooked up with a 16 year old. It’s no wonder. I went to his house to hookup. We still had our clothes on as he gave me a hickey. Sadly, Stephen could’nt keep it up! He jizzed in his pants before we’d even gotten undressed. Then, the little leprechaun ran away into the bathroom before turning as red as his hair crying “Oh my god! It’s been so long! I’m so embarassed.”

Put a keyboard in front of him I’m sure he’ll be fine.- nik