Cheaters Are Becoming The Standard
THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I recently started visiting your website after hearing about it through your show, couple’s therapy. I have to admit that I had never heard of you or your site, but it is now a guilty pleasure of mine because sometimes I find myself so shocked by the content on it. I know, in this day in age of porn and cocaine, it is pretty ridiculous that I am shocked by it, but I am. I think mainly because there are so many shameless people out there, like the guy who submitted the last article about hooking up with an escort in Vegas, while his wife is away. Why be married if you have to get your kicks off of a chick who has the ugliest tattoo I’ve ever witnessed, not to mention a rough face. I mean really, how cliche is a Vegas hooker? I know you might respond with, “Some people want the best of both worlds,” but obviously you are not getting the best of one world if you have to seek another. If you want to live the life of a single man, or woman, then be single, but don’t subject other people to your selfish ways. Cheaters are becoming the standard, rather than the byproduct of an entitled generation. What are your thoughts?
My thoughts are… men get bored and get off by the hunt of indiscretion. I agree with you on the single part, but a man wants to be loved by many not by one.- nik
I know this isn’t really what the dirty is all about, but I like that the site seems to be growing up a bit with you Nik. That’s a good thing. It’s your blog, it should express your journey in life. I know it’s a Sunday and not many people will read this one and blah blah blah, but w/e.
Any how, I think men (and women too) are chasing validation, not love. The problem with the more = better scenario is that just like when you try to please all the people all the time, if you try to find “love” from as many women as possible you will just end up with no one’s love or respect.
First off, both sexes cheat. Period!
Traditionally (according to biological evolution theory) men cheat more often because of physical dissatisfaction and / or the need for variety and women cheat for their diminished emotional expectations. However, it is quite evident that in the post feminism era both genders cheat equally for physical reasons as well as emotional reasons.
While it is salacious for the media to expose both male & female infidelity when it comes to politicians and celebrities, the media is far less lenient on a cheating average Joe than a cheating average Jane. Although statistically men cheat more often than women, I dare say that the women are not too far behind. The real ratio is not too far lop sided and it may actually shock most bystanders.
After all think about it, not all men are cheating with hookers and pros. Most infidelities easily occur through online channels including social media and work places, and most often men who are in relationships cheat with women who are also in relationships.
I always questioned those statistics. If you come to any towns that have a military base, you’d see that 90% of military wives are screwing other guys while their husbands are deployed. And surprisingly, you don’t see the guys cheat at that high of a rate.
There ALWAYS have been men AND WOMEN who cheat and there always will be. It’s happening now no more than in the past this site just sheds a light on the dirty people who do it. I disagree with Nik’s comment, a real man (or woman) who is secure with themselves and READY for commitment doesn’t need to be “loved by many”. That’s just a pathetic excuse for sleazy behaviour.
Nik is so wrong about many things. Women get bored too. Maybe I am different. I get bored with the sex & conversation. Yes I have sex a lot but it is not to the level I want it. I stay with the guy because he is the father of my child( yes I know Nik would think that is just stupid). The real problem is my fantasies …
Also, not everyone acts on their feelings. Cheating is not the standard.
Says the chick while blowing lines before getting railed in that same bathroom, before openly tweeting about threesomes.
Says the chick before blowing lines, getting railed in that same restroom, then openly tweeting about the threesome she’s gonna have. Then crying when no one offers to pay her rent or spring for a new iPhone for her.
It’s a cruel world .
“a man wants to be loved by many not by one”
If that’s the case for you, Nik, don’t get married ever again. It’ll never work for you.
I truly believe that people should not get married period. It is an archaic tradition that really when it comes down to it is just a form of legal slavery (for women AND men). I think men get married to have comfort in knowing that there is something constant at home for them, but for centuries society has taught us that all men cheat and that’s just the way things are, so most men do. In turn society has also raised us to believe that a woman has not lived a truly full life unless she gets married and has children. All marriage is to me is a little piece of paper that legally binds you to another person, and then if things don’t work out it is an enormous amount of stress to end things. If things end in divorce, what most men have to worry about is their wealth and possessions being taken (and hurt feelings of course) and to avoid that they try to avoid divorce altogether. For women having a marriage end in divorce makes them feel inadequate as a woman, so more often that not they would rather stay in a loveless marriage than end it, solely because of the stigma that is attached to it. Marriage is just one big endless cycle. You get married because you think you are in love, the love dissolves, but rather than go through a messy divorce you try to work it out as best you can when there is nothing left to salvage. I would much rather just be with the person I love for as long as things are good and when they’re not anymore just pull out and move on. Of course this all get a little more complicated when children are involved (that’s another discussion for another time) but you don’t have to be married to be a family. We are living in a modern world and marriage is an outdated tradition. So many people (mostly women) waste their whole lives trying to find that one person to live their life with and marry and really just end up wasting so much precious time when they could just be living for themselves. I am only 23 years old, but I truly have no desire to get married. I would much rather be an old spinster living with 30 cats than settle for someone I think is “the one” and when things get rough feel like I’m stuck in a loveless marriage with no way out. I don’t know, I could go on but I think I got my point across. I agree with the poster, if you want to live a single life and have sex with many people and hire prostitutes then please just be single!!!!
I have to agree with you, and I’m a female too.
the age of cocaine and porn was the 70′s. Go see Boogie Nights
Women get bored too… We just often don’t know how to ask for our desires, in which case we become resentful of our men because they do. We know we won’t get our desires from another man, so why be with two men if neither fulfill our satisfaction completely? Women need to learn how to ask for their true desires… I have found that Orgasmic Meditation is the way for women to feel fulfilled, either from one man, or many, whichever lifestyle they choose.
it is in our nature to want to mate with many we are mammals, religion is the one thing that tells us what is right wrong hence where morals come from and makes us think that sleeping around is wrong, when in reality most mamals sleep with multiple partners to create the best offspring. we are mammals and please dont give me your morals bullsh!t save the religion stuff for someone who gives a f@ck iDECIDED
People always want the next best thing, it’s just how it works these days. It’s easier for women because they have dudes throwing everything at them, so they always have more temptations then a man.
Most dudes just get drunk and end up with a random hookup, compared to women who will run away with their new bank account and leave your ass in a second.
A lock that can be open by many keys is a weak lock, while a key that can open many locks is a Master Key!