THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is Jen Smith. She’s from Plains, PA and now currently resides in Philadelphia. She’s the fakest bitch i know. First of all NOBODY knows she’s a stripper at Bare Exposure in Atlantic City, but she is. She has been there for about 3 years and goes by the name of Aspen. Really creative huh? This is how she funded her plastic surgery. Her boobs & her duck lips. This girl is the most insecure sloot I’ve met. Always complaining about her looks to get attention, never satisfied with anything. Her hair is fake, her lips are fake, her boobs are fake, her eye color is fake. And she’s so obsessed with her weight, she gets her colon cleansed. You know, where they stick a tube up your butthole and shoot water up there to clear your bowels. Gross. Anyway, she’s such a faker. She pretends to be nice to anyone to get things from them. She’ll be your friend to catch a ride to work because she doesn’t want to take the train from Philly. She’ll even lie and make up stories about people so she can get close enough with them to get their discount at M.A.C cosmetics. Really pathetic. One time, she spread a rumor about a friend of mine saying she saw her having sex with another girl’s ex when her son was in the other room crying. She told everyone at her job because she knew that my friend wasn’t coming back to work there. And guess what? She became close with someone for her M.A.C discount. She has no friends, and says she’s going to school for business to open her own fashion boutique. Well, good luck with that. She came into work about a month ago and had a mental  breakdown saying “I can’t do this!”. I guess after all the plastic surgery, nobody wanted her and she couldn’t take it.

That wardrobe malfunction was for free drinks.  I decided.- nik