Watch Your Butt Hole

November 1, 2012 LSU, New Orleans 4 6,605 Views

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, if you’re ever in Louisiana for Voodoo Fest or any festival I wanted to give you a heads up on some creepers you should watch out for. They got this dude over here named Chris who likes to rape straight guys. He gets dudes all drunk and drugged up and then he goes straight for the butthole. The more the guys struggle, the more it turns him on. He is a self-proclaimed Warewolf. Avoid being alone with him because that’s when he attacks. When he is in his hometown, Lafayette, he will find his young and scrawny prey at the Blue Moon Saloon or at Artmosphere, the whole in the wall bar across the street. Chris is most dangerous when he is in New Orleans because he gets his strength from his Voodoo Priestess, Jessica. Jessica, like Chris loves buttholes. She puts Voodoo spells on innocent musicians she meets, at the music venue she works at called, the Howlin Wolf. Jessica is also known for her stinky wizard sleeves; this is a proven fact because she has slept with almost everyone who’s been on Bourbon St…This is some serious shit, I kid you not, watch yo back or you will lose yo crack. If you spot them pour a bucket of Holy Water on them, because these two both really need Jesus.

I’m not sure if slipping into your raver gear counts as a costume.  Just saying.- nik