THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik I met R. Vance Nesbitt (Vance) online in January 2011. He told me he was divorced. I met him April 2, 2011 when I moved to Phoenix and that’s when things got interesting. Instant attraction between Vance and I. We got along, things were easy. He never gave me reason to doubt him; he backed up his words through action. It was easy for me to fall in love with him, and I did. We talked about moving in together, spending the rest of our lives together. There was never any indication that he was anything but honest and genuine. Until he let it slip that he was STILL LEGALLY MARRIED!!! Apparently he’d been seperated for 6 years. He said as far as he was concerned he was divorced “in his heart and mind.” Divorce papers, not even legal seperation papers, were filed with Maricopa County. Stupid me, I should have walked away then. He constantly dropped hints about being broke or how he needed money to pay his rent or how his account was overdrawn. I never helped him pay his rent; I did however, cover his overdrafts to bring his account to $0. I paid for everything: outings, meals, groceries, gas, trips to Vegas. Did he ever contribute or offer? Not at all. To his credit, the money I loaned him he did pay back…until recently. Oktoberfest 2011 was my breaking point. After 6 months of not meeting his friends, I finally met them. Forget I paid $200 for drink tickets…one of his “friends,” who is married and whose husband was there, was flirting with Vance, commenting on his size, making inappropriate comments. FINALLY she did something that had Vance diving face first into her cleavage, right in front of me. A few minutes later he seperated us from the group and told me he has a past with her, that they\’ve made out several times. Her and her husband swing, as does Vance. Days later this comes up in conversation. Did he apologize for what he did? No, he tried to justify it. Did he acknowledge my feelings? Nope. I broke up with him. Roughly three weeks after the breakup a girlfriend and I went to his apartment to retrieve my belongings. He let me in his apartment and while I was standing there minding my own business holding a watch he flips out, yanks the watch out of my hand, and proceeds to throw me about like a rag doll, slamming me into the edge of an open door, into a wall, and threw me out the door into a second floor railing. My foot ends up being caught in his door he had slammed on me; I shouldered the door to free myself as he refused to open the door. The cops arrive and I\’m arrested for domestic violence, even though my witness tells the cops exactly what he did to me. I was recovering from a dog attack months prior and he knew this. Because of the way he manhandled me I was in the ER twice that day, with a concussion. Medical records indicate the abrasions and swelling I had. He of course, claims he did no such thing and I that I injured myself. Since then, we tried to work it out and work through it. In April 2012 I decided to move back to LV. On June 23 he arrived in LV on my doorstep uninvited without prior warning. He was there for sex. 7 hours later when he had returned to Scotts he calls me in hysterics telling me how he missed his wife and wanted her back, telling me he didn’t know what that meant for us. For 4 days straight we discussed this at length. On June 28 he made a comment which had me hanging up on him. On June 29 he cut off all communication with me, without any explanation. Since then I have repeatedly and aggressively tried to retrieve the belongings he is in possession, get the money from him he currently owes me, and find out what the heck is going on. Instead of responding to any of this, he some how managed to take out an Order of Protection against me, lying in the application and swearing under oath I possed a risk to his physical safety. ver the last several months I learned that he cheated on me several times throughout the course of our relationship. That he was sleeping with his wife while he was sleeping with me. That he was in constant talks with her before his hysterical phone call about getting back together. Now, keep this in mind as well: Vance was kicked out of the Navy with an Other than Honorable discharge. For what you ask? SEXUAL HARASSMENT!!! He claims he has 22 years experience in the medical field. This is a blatant lie. Beyond what time he spent in the Navy as a corpsman, his jobs after that involved selling time shares in Sedona, working for Motorola, and being unemployed. Currently, he plays with toys for a hospital in Scotts in a program with Luke AFB training doctors and nurses and local law enforcement and fire departments in first response/combat situations. Before this he worked in cardiology for about 7 years. He also claims to be an educator which is not true. He is not college educated and beyond having a CPR card, he is in no way licensed, certified, or qualified to be an educator. Vance views sex as sex. It’s something two people do; there is nothing emotional about it. He swings, he has sex with his friends\’ wives/girlfriends. He doesn’t think it’s cheating if he sleeps with someone other than the person he’s involved with because there are no emotions involved. He subscribes to several online sites where he exchanges naked pics of himself with women and meets women online specifically for sex. He gave me an drd which has turned into cervical and anal cancer. I had to have surgery to remove the warts he gave me. He is a HUGE fan of anal sex and will charmingly force you into complying. I was pregnant with his child and he threatened me in order to have an abortion. I started a blog about him and had women coming out of the woodwork sharing their experiences with me about him. His methods are the same: find someone with money, or who he believes has money, and use them for how much he can. On your first date, you will pay for it. He will invite himself to spend the night and even though you tell him sex is out of the question and he agrees, he makes it very well known that is exactly what he wants. You will pay for EVERYTHING and he will never contribute let alone offer to pick up the tab. He will keep you hidden from his friends and family, he will tell you how you\’ve touched his heart unlike anyone else before you, he will talk to you at length of having a future together. He will disrespect you. He will lie about you. He will have one night stands with women while he is seeing you. He will also tell you the relationship is his way or no way. There is finally a divorce action pending in Maricopa County. I hope his wife nails him financially and keeps visitation with his kids to a minimum. There is so much more about Vance to tell but I think I’ve painted a very clear picture of who he really is. Keep clear and keep your checkbook hidden. He will ruin your life and take your money in the process. Because of his lies to law enforcements and the courts, even though the charges against me were dismissed, I can not pass a background check. I am currently unemployed because of him. I worked hard for more than 20 years to accomplish what I did and have what I HAD. In one call this man took everything from me. And he denies it to this day.
Learn how to summarize! That being said, no guy who poses with a Disney character is single or without kids.- nik