Do I Have Too Much Trust In My Boyfriend
THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I need your thoughts on something. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years (half of highschool & well into college). He has never cheated on me, texted other girls behind my back, etc. Never ever gave me a reason not to trust him. Last night I took his shirt off and noticed a hickey-like mark on his shoulder. I freaked out, I mean what girl wouldnt? He promised me that he didnt cheat on me and he is not sure exactly what its from. He wasnt acting defensive and did not seem to be lying. He even called his brother who he was with the past few days to vouche for him. I trust him Nik, I really do. I just don’t want to be that oblivious girl who’s being cheated on. What do you think?
I think you need to end this relationship. People who marry their high school partner end up wasting their entire lives or end up divorced. You are setting yourself up to be miserable in the future. Its time to see the world, pop that bubble like a cherry already.- nik
my exs friend called him to vouch for him because his gf found condoms in the couch. he told her that it was from us having sex. and she believed him. i was so frustrated cus one i dont have sex on ppls couches and leave dirty condoms around. didnt want to be part of a lie. but she believed my ex because he vouched for his buddy. just cus someones vouching doesnt mean there on ur side. his brother could lie to u obviously his brother loves him more than u . think about it. and just because uve been long together that doesnt validate the fact that he wont cheat. studies show 80 percent of couples cheat. its a high percentage. dont want to make u sad but if u having ppl vouch and get defensive u need to watch out. just saying. its coming from a girl who walked in on her bf cheating when he said he was sleeping !!!!! ruined a two year relationship and i did not see it coming at all ! good luck gf
And people who get married after 8 hours never go on reality tv and are the poster children for perfect marriages.
OMG!!!! Please Dont break up with him. That’s not right at all for anyone telling you to do so because You guys have been together since highschool. Thats bullshit. If you love him trust him. You really have no reason not to. High school hearts can be an amazing thing. Yes so he had a bruise on his shoulder that doesnt mean it was a hickey. You will know him very well considering you 2 have been together for 4 years so if he was defensive when you asked him about it doesnt that mean something? Most men would get all defensive and argue and just look like they are guilty but he even called his brother to let you know that what you think happened wasnt true. so I say give him the benefit of the doubt and trust him. if this is the first time then why waste what you have together over something that is probably nothing.
Thank you si much for this advice, I really appreciate it.
You are trying to avoid an experience that most will go through and that is, a broken heart. Nothing and nobody will be able to predict your future with this man. It is either go with it and get more paranoid, look at what has changed in your relationship and work it out, or break it off and accept that things falls apart and it wasn’t meant to be. You are not going to get a magic revelation that will ever reassure you. Most people will turn a blind eye until shit hits the fan…I mean that’s life right? Nik is correct, high school relationships don’t let you experience the dating world or let you taste what’s out there, that can be good or bad but at least you can say you lived your life.
oh christ who the hell actually listens to this clown.
I think Nik is right on with this one, either you or him will one day wounder what it’s like to be with someone different, (I’m not saying that he was your first or vise verse) it will either be you our him but one of you will stray. It doesn’t mean that you both don’t love each other it’s just the way we are made. It’s like driving a car after while you wounder what it will be like to drive a new/different one(not the best example). I’m not saying that there’s not a chance your relationship will succeed but the odd’s are against you both.
If you truly love something let it go and if it returns it was meant to be. I can’t believe I just put that in my response but it’s true, people change….
One more thing, I would love to hear his reason for him having a hickey on his shoulder. There is only a few reasonable answer’s to that question.
I wouldn’t do that just yet. There’s only one reason I could think for the marks. Does he work out? Like does he do any exercises where he uses his shoulders to push the weight? This sometimes causes blood clots that may look like a hickey. If not, then yeah pop that cherry already
Nik you run a ______website, but in the advice-giving department you’re even worse than “Dr.” Phil and Anderson Cooper. If this girl never had a reason to not trust her boyfriend, she shouldn’t jump the gun and end a 4 year relationship based on a suspicion. Lady, if it really does look like a legitimate hickey, give it some time and maybe pay a bit closer attention to your boyfriend’s actions until you’re confident that he either is or isn’t cheating, and you fully trust him again. I agree that marrying your highschool sweetheart isn’t always the best idea, but ending it based on paranoia over a little skin irritation just isn’t smart.
Why not approve our comments? Big boss man might not like that we’re favoring the high school sweet hearts over his drunken 8 hour vegas rip off of that stupid ashton kutcher movie??
Anyone who asks Nik Richie for advice is a true jackass.
He called someone to vouch for him? Sounds pretty damn sketchy to me.
I think your insecure. You should move on before you f-up his life.
You have a mild rash, skin mark. Lets break up. Sounds like someone who is already thinking about leaving him.
Not true! I have been with my husband for 4 yrs since 11th grade..I did get bored and ended it, tht made us stronger sometimes you do need a break….. and YES the mind wonders…its life. But im happy
I have been with my boyfriend since the end of grade 12. He was out of high school, but regardless, if you want it to work then it will. Don’t let stupid statistics, or especially Nik, make you feel like your relationship will inevitably end just because you met young. It takes work, but what relationship doesn’t. We’ve been together 5 years now and couldn’t be happier. Like i said, it works if you want it to. Goodluck!
If u don’t trust him you don’t love him of he doesn’t trust u he doesn’t love you if your Bringing up the fact that your bf might be cheating on u with no wvidence or anything in most cases your the one cheating on him and that makes yiu insecure so keep your legs shut and I’m sure he’ll do the same. unless he’s a douchebag then ur fucked haha
Leave if you believe you are right and enjoy your youth. The dipper you get the harder it is to get out. I was 17 when I started with my high school sweetheart, now i’m 31 pregnant with or first child, but a serious relationship at a young age is really difficult. got married at 22 when our single friends were enjoying life, he would want to go out with his friends but wanted me to stay home and would get upset if I asked who was going or were he was going. I made him see that if he was going out so would I, but the fighting was even worse because there was no trust for a while. There was a time were I thought he had cheated on me but I wasn’t able to prove it. I am almost certain he did at some level, but now I have to live with it, but if I ever find proof I will leave in a minute. I always say that I wish I had met him when I was older because neither one of us really enjoyed our youth. we are happy now, but there is a lot of hurt that would never go away. He used to feel trapped because of the pressure and criticism he had from his friends, but now that they got married he sees and realizes how wrong he was because everyone prioritizes their family like he should have done but was too young to understand at the time. Arguments do get bigger sooner because once you cross the line it gets easier to do the next time around. Save yourself a bigger heartbreak.
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Coming from someone that is with her husband since high school and have now been married for seven year, it can happen. Love at a young age is hard. Sometimes there are situations that a couple has to over come whether they make it through the big or small problems will determine if they are meant to be. He could be telling the truth or lying through his ass. A serious conversation must happen so that is true closure and you are not wondering if it actually happen. Whether Nik is a downer on high school love, that is his own opinion, it is a free country and he is entitiled to his own opinion as is everyone else on this site. You may read and listen to many opinions but ultimately it comes up to you whether you decide to work it out or leave him. Don’t throw away that time and love for something that could be a misunderstand. Happy holidays and I wish you much luck.
He’s definitly a keeper. He was smart enough to setup the whole “with my brother” alabi, a pre-planner – a definite keeper.