THE DIRTY ARMY: Hi Nik!! I am posting this because I need some advice and help with a relationship I have let go to far.. And I am posting this anonymously for simple plausible deniability should I be confronted by him or by my friends with this. For the past few months I have been in a relationship with a guy that is somewhat older than me. I am in my middle 20′s and he is in his middle 30′s. Even though I like him very much I find myself wanting out of this relationship. I find myself not wanting this relationship anymore and I don’t know how to tell him without hurting his feelings. Everything is nothing but a lie now. I put on a happy face and go along with the flow and I tell him how I feel just to make him feel good. But it’s not how I feel at all. Everything I say to him has become nothing but a lie. I have no real feelings for him at all beyond friend ship. We both work in the Dallas nightclub seen and it’s easy to get caught up in things and I have known him for quite a wile. I just put on a big show to cover up how I feel. I find myself trapped in this relationship with no way out. Everything has become so serious and I don’t want that because I am not ready for that type of life. I took him way up north of Dallas to see my family couple of weeks ago and he liked them and my family liked him. I thought it was time for that but I was wrong because deep down I really didn’t want that at all. I made a mistake. I thought the time we spent together was fun but I let it get to serious, I let it get out of control and I let it go to far. Now I have trapped myself in one great big lie. Almost everything I say to him has become a lie because I don’t want to hurt his feelings. I don’t want a serious relationship with him any more. I feel trapped with no way out. I have got to stop this lie. Just the other week I went to Houston to get a passport to travel outside the country and go to an island resort for a week with him just south of Cuba. I always wanted to do that with someone anyway and he just happened be there at the right time and place so I went for it. By doing that I got myself into a deeper relationship with him that I didn’t want. I was uneasy and uncomfortable the whole week. But I put on a happy face and went with the flow covering up my true feelings the whole time and made the best of it. I just wished it would stop. We got back just this past week and it was a relief. My life with him has become a trap for me. I don’t want this relationship with him and I want out. I am not ready for this type of life. And certainly no kids from this at all. That is the last thing I need to happen now. Nik I need out of this relationship now but I feel trapped with no way out. And I know it is my fault for letting go to far. I do not want to hurt his feelings but this has to end. I am tired of this lie. I don’t want to have a serious relationship with him anymore. I want out and I want out now. Some body please help me with this. I need some advice. I know I have repeated myself here a bit just to show that I really mean what I have said here. Please post this for me Nik!! I need help with this!! I want my friends help to stop this relationship and I don’t know how to ask them beyond this message. I don’t want to have to lie to him anymore!! I want out and out now!!! He is amazing and I don’t want to hurt him. Enough is enough and I need to move on with my life.
Just break up with him.- nik