THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik! This is Carlee Pritchard, or Lee (or even Billy is a name one of the collections agencies has for her…) I’m not gonna go on and on about this girls personality, because at one time we were close! I like to think she has the ability to be a good friend – as long as you don’t give her anything-ever. My fiance and I made the mistake of inviting her into our home when she was going through a rough patch. At the time she was a trusted friend and we didn’t see any reason to doubt her. Once she moved in we learned what good actors people with bipolar disorder are. Her facade of organization and a strong work ethic melted. She began lazing around the house, eating our food, and following me around telling me how to run my house and my relationship like a mother hen. She went so far at one point as to imply that she would be a better ‘wife’ to my fiance. She’d pick fights when I’d ask her to back off and stop butting in and telling me how to handle my business. She made absolutely no effort to acquire employment, and didn’t seem to understand that we were offering her a room – not board, and cigarettes, and clothes (which she stole some of mine…designer clothing of mine…bitch). The straw was when my fiance and I went away for a weekend, and when we came back we found out that she’d had friends over and they’d stolen some of our belongings while she went for a nap in our bed (we have a two bedroom apartment, she had a bedroom) – downright creepy right? When I asked her to leave we were at the point that we were flat broke. We’d had to cancel events we’d been looking forward to for months, our freezer and two of our cupboards were empty and we were on the verge of having to go to the food bank – with two full time incomes!! (Seriously, this chick ate like a cow!!) Here’s the kicker; when I asked her to leave and explained the situation we were in financially, her response was, “I don’t see how you’re so far behind.” You don’t see why? Really?! Even worse, we’re still haunted by her presence! She gave our home number to the handful of phone companies that are chasing her (she doesn’t pay her bills, she waits until she gets cut off then goes and gets a new phone with another company), so now we’re caught in her frig’n collections loop and are probably going to have to change our phone number to make it stop. So yeah, if you meet her, feel free to make your own decision of her as a person – but never extend a helpful hand – she’ll bite it.

I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and assume those aren’t veins on her chest…- nik