THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik This is Kelsey, 23 years old and mother of one. The girl has such a warped sense of reality, she thinks she’s a “model”. Well, whatever she’s selling, I aint buying. The queen of Bathroom Mirror Selfies, this ugly mug is constantly blowing up my Facebook feed. But trust me, between the selfies and her modelling” shots, I’d choose the former. No, Kelsey, I do not want to see what you look like in your grandmother’s slip, circa 1935. Nor do I need an image of you decked out Day of the Dead-style, with thighs the size of a couple Coast Redwoods. And your precious Nicki Minaj wig? Yeah…burn it. Doesn’t help.
What are those, grapes? (purple tat) she’ll need a whole orchard.- nik