I’m Confused
THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I need your advice and I need brutal honesty. I met this guy 10 months ago on POF. He is awesome, everything I could ever want in a guy, thing is. I live 10 states away which we both were ok with. I’m starting to develop feelings and get attached and its starting to really sadden me. I have to book the trip and pay all expenses to come see him, bc if I don’t we would never ever see each other. Long story short, knowing he goes out and has potential to meet someone it’s really making me upset. I almost feel like maybe I’m being crazy but I don’t know what to do! I feel like after this long he would want to see me already, it’s constant disappointment from him. Do you think if I end it I’m throwing away the best thing that could ever happen to me? I need help.
If I were you I would cut him off and see if he tries to see you. Guys are desperate and panic when they are in LOVE. On the other hand you could waste the money and just spy on him to see if he is even a real person and not a catfish. Either way people fall in love with the distance, not the person. Having a person in your life on your time is what’s making you happy.- nik
Poster you need to get away from the computer and get into the real world. Anyone who signs up on POF is just looking for an easy hookup. If you honestly think this guy is serious about you (even though he’s made no effort to come see you or bring you to see him) then you are delusional.
Actually, I met my boyfriend on POF. We have a baby together and will have been together 3 years in December.
Then again, my boyfriend lived less than 5 minutes from me.
Long distance doesn’t work just go ask every guy who dated Jen Wilke
You f*cking internet relationship douche bags just baffle me beyond belief. I mean, I seriously can not wrap my thoughts around how you develop “feelings” for someone via web cams and phone calls. It’s got to be a self-worth issue and lack thereof right? My advice to you is go buy a vibrator. It’s just as inanimate as a web cam.
why do you post shit like this ..this is borderline fake
Why is that map of east Texas?
Why are you reading so much into what the photo, which by the way is just representing an example of the situation, rather then seeing the big picture? Go away.
Jen wilke is from Texas
“People fall in love with the distance, not the person”. So true.
Nik, great advice! Couldn’t have said it better.
Gotta give you credit on this answer Nik. Kinda insightful and sensitive at the same time.
Nick, thats some real advice, in my opinion, the best i’ve seen here. Pretty impressed man.
This is UNFORTUNATLEY one the best advice columns nik had done.
People online are usually very different from who they really are. It’s easier to create a fake persona behind a keyboard. I know because I get online dating a try and while some people I’ve met were okay…most were nothing like what they tried to appear behind the computer screen.
Nik, I think as you get older, the better advice you give. That’s great advice. I smell a catfish in that post
I couldn’t handle a long distance relationship with my ex. He was a man whore overseas. I was scared to catch something. Bad thing is he’s my bff’s half brother. Makes for super awk get togethers. Her mom informally adopted me after my ma died. She’d beat me over the head with something!
Shuuuut up. Nobody cares!
i met my bf online. he wet to me first to meet me irl and we live like 2h 30min away…with plain. all u need is faith, and if he hasnt made an effirt to see u…fuck him.
If a guy wants to meet you and have a relationship with you, he will come and see you!
Otherwise, stop communication as Nik said. You’re only going to invest more feelings into what you have…which at this point sounds like a one sided cyber crush.
If he wants to be with you, he will make it happen.
Goodluck.
Not being picky but when you the “poster” are in one place and the guy you want to see is far away and you want to GO see him, you can’t say “pay all expenses to COME see him” so this tells me you do need advice haha. If he wanted to see you it would have happened in first 2 or 3 months but he obviously (probably you too) has issues and likes the attention weather its a catfish or not. If he is real he obviously has better options going on close to home and is just stringing you along “just in case”. I would BAIL and set your POF limits to 40 miles (60 max!!!).