THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, meet Manny Dix (Cassie Richcreek). Named appropriately for her endless sex/partying addiction. Thinks she’s Seattle’s hottest thing, like, ever. She isn’t. Dresses up in costumes/makeup 6 nights a week. At concerts, shopping malls, social gatherings looking for Greg at all hours. New guy in her life every ten days. Works as a stripper for party cash. She’s got that creepy twinkle in her eye – all the Pac NWest girls on Prozac/Welbutrin sport this sleepy, stoned look. No true calling in life, just a confused orgy of rock n roll, alcohol, antidepressants. Simply addicted to the Crayon. Can not get enough of it – always talking about her latest hookup at work. Has this bizarre fixation on mustaches. My girlfriends and I are tired of this girl and wish she’d leave town. She’s a confused mess of a female and doomed if she can’t change her ways. In 10 years she’s gonna be washed up and begging for help. No wonder the men don’t want to get married! Would you? It wouldn’t be hard to #getitin. but somehow I already know the answer!

I suggest a name change.- nik