You’re Not Crazy: It’s The Oxytocin (Or Lack Thereof)
THE DIRTY ARMY: Hello Nik, I haven’t visited your less-than-tasteful site in awhile, but I am hoping that some hopeless, lost lovers might find my posting helpful.
My story: My ex-boyfreind has done some pretty awful, unspeakable things to me (i.e. stole $$ from me, lied about cheating on me, filed a crazy/frivolous lawsuit against me, etc.) So, to the untrained mind, it may seem illogical that I miss him like crazy, long for his touch, his smell, and his kisses. Some may even peg me as “insecure”, desperate, etc. But, when you think about the science behind relationships, it turns out that maybe I’m not so crazy!
Why I can’t get over him: You see, my physical relationship with my ex was nothing short of amazing…pure ecstasy. Before he came along, I didn’t think it was humanly possible to orgasm as many times as I did in one night with him. And, as some of you may know, with orgasms comes a surge of the “love hormone” oxytocin. The more oxytocin flowing through your veins, the more bonded you become to your partner. And since I was orgasming an average of 5 times a night, I am finding it a tad bit difficult to let go.
The solution: For those of you going through the same thing, please know that only time will heal. Yes, our friends have told this over and over, but from a scientific stand point…it’s true! The less oxytocin surges that you have in association with your ex, the less you will long for him. Also, since even the slightest memory of one’s past lover may increase oxytocin, it is best to steer clear of photos, places, or smells that remind you of him.
His story: Like I stated above, my ex is not exactly a hopeless romantic. But, I also feel that he had some bonding issues in general. He had even expressed insecurities of not being able to read people, being socially awkward, not being able to keep friends, etc. He also had no regard for the feeling of others…the strange part is that he so desperately wanted to be able to “get” people, to find love. He has attributed these characteristic to possibly post-traumatic stress disorder or maybe his abusive interactions with his father an brother…but I suggest that maybe the lack of a certain love hormone may be to blame.
My take on why he has trouble bonding: Whatever caused his border-line sociopathic characteristics, science suggests that low oxytocin levels may be responsible. So while I have issues getting over him, he clearly had issues even creating that bond in the first place!! Possible solution: While I truly believe that some guy’s lack of bonding is because they are “just not that into you”, extreme cases like my ex may be corrected by oxytocin therapy, no? Anyway, I hope this helps someone out there. I also sort of hope my ex will come across this posting. I truly wish him the best but fear that he’ll never be able to have a true, lasting bond with anyone. Any “love experts” want to give their take?
Why the hell did I read this whole thing? Guys USE THIS MIRACLE SPRAY if you really care to give your chick 5 OG’s.- nik
MIRACLE SPRAY OK I’M ON IT THANSK NIK!!!!!!~!!! ….DOT DOT DOT
MIRACLE SPRAY OK I’M ON IT THANSK NIK!!!!!!~!!! ….DOT DOT DOT ..
The post is gibberish, psycho-babble and pseudoscience being used to justify her continuing attraction for her bad-boy, disrespectful loser ex.
Another stupid girl getting taken advantage of, then unable to accept rejection, so trying to rationalize it using some bullshit scientific theory she read in Cosmo. Get your life together and learn to serve humanity in a positive way, instead of craving orgasms you bloated ho. I know who you are too, I’m your ex and I never wanted you. I used you and was grossed every time I saw your dumb face orgasming when you rode my dick, slut. “Uhhh uhhh uhhh!” Yeah you’re disgusting, and you’re a psycho.
dear oxytocin. interesting scientific take on love and attraction, and though it may be theoretically possible to change your partners affections with science, im afraid you will have to use your own brain. we either have to love people as they are, or kidnap them and brainwash them though chemicals and or lobotomy to love us.
the latter suggests that brainwashing idea of “love” would be a selfish taking kind of love, where you would be considering only your own needs and not your partners, so then you can ask yourself, do you love this man, or do you love the idea of what he could be?
so you may have to meet a man and train him to do the things you like, sexually and otherwise, and it would be advice that you do so. you could have 20 orgasms a day, if you are married to some twat who doesnt care about you, what kind of life is that? good luck to you, i have hope for you because there was hope for me
Thank you
And Nik that was one of your best responses in awhile!
Hahahaha
OP! STFU!
You know you are bored when you get to the third sentence and click on an ad ….
“I dont care if he steals, cheats, files lawsuits and is a sociopath as long as my pussy gets pleased.”
Animals at their lowest form.
What was the effin point of this whole post? Not only did you bore us with your sob story you degraded the website. Then why the hell did you post something to it crazy ass bitch?
HAHA! I thought the same thing! Uh, poster, if you think this site is “less than tasteful” why did you spend an hour composing your hot mess?
I think she has a point, even if she took way too long to make it. It’s about chemistry!
Oxytocin causes labor contractions. I use it on my horses during embryo transfer and it does NOT cause feelings of love it causes cramps. It happens with a flood of other chemicals during orgasm but for the record in an of itself its just a contraction inducer.
Youre talking about PITOCIN! idiot..
Nik, let’s get serious in here because you are basically peddling some local anesthetic for the male genitalia. Your comment was very superficial.
Since the OP touched upon the scientific processes and stages of love and break up, here is some factual research which explores the “science” of Brain in such matters, not the science of “Greg”!
There are generally three stages involved leading to “love”
1- Lust: driven by sex hormones both in men and women, i.e, testosterone and oestrogen.
2- Falling in love (intense attraction): the amazing time when you are truly love-struck and can think of little else. The three main neurotransmitters are involved in this stage are adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin.
A- Adrenaline: the initial stages of falling for someone activates the stress response, increasing blood levels of adrenalin and cortisol. This has the charming effect that when you unexpectedly bump into your new love, you start to sweat, your heart races and your mouth goes dry.
B- Dopamine: this chemical stimulates ‘desire and reward’ by triggering an intense rush of pleasure. It has the same effect on the brain as taking cocaine! Signs of surging dopamine are increased energy, less need for sleep or food, focused attention and exquisite delight in smallest details of this novel relationship
C- Serotonin: one of love’s most important chemicals that may explain why when you’re falling in love, your new lover constantly keeps popping into your thoughts.
3- Being in love (attachment):
A- Oxytocin – The cuddle hormone is a powerful hormone released by men and women during orgasm. It probably deepens the feelings of attachment and makes couples feel much closer to one another after they have had sex. The theory goes that the more sex a couple has, the deeper their bond becomes. Oxytocin also seems to help cement the strong bond between mother and baby and is released during childbirth. It is also responsible for a mother’s breast automatically releasing milk at the mere sight or sound of her young baby.
B- Vasopressin: is another important hormone in the long-term commitment stage and is released after sex.Studies have shown that when Vasopressin (also called anti-diuretic hormone) levels are suppressed, the bond within partners deteriorates immediately as their devotion is lost and they fail to protect their partner from new suitors.
You asked for science, you go science. Understand love as a science and you’ll be more realistic and more successful. Treat is as a mere visceral feeling and then you’ll doom at you own peril.
Mwahaja amazinn
You are my hero
For real, this girl is lame as hell! She is in love with the orgasms, not the guy! I only read the first paragraph nik, that babble BS pisses me off! These chicks are as smart as a rock!
Anonymous, great explanation for these idiots. The OP’s point was not hard to realize. You’re narrow minded and that’s why you read something and jump to a premature conclusion . Rubbish.
Do you think that he’s the only guy good in the sack??? Get out more, numbnutz. Or..don’t. And get cheated on, lied to, stolen from and so on and so forth. Lordy.
So you love this guy as much as your dildo. True love.
Actually your ex-boyfriend’s symptoms coincide with Asperger’s Syndrome.
The spray works!
The guy in the Promescent ad on the right of my screen…his leg is HAIRLESS. It freaks me out.
An elaborate way to rationalize why some guy left this sloot’s ass. Great read! I love Cosmo articles, cause then dumb bitches reiterate everything they read like it’s their own. He left you because you’re gross.
This was the best free-therapy ever!!!! And yes- you are all right… I need to get out more!!! I went straight from my nice college sweetheart that, well, was naive as me on this topic…to a crazy bad-boy type that simply had more experience. Here’s to finding a relationship that offers the best of both worlds…
BTW..I especially appreciated the poster that laid out all the love hormones
The lady that used oxytocin on her horses is pretty ignorant…but, then again, what can you expect from a crazy horse lady?!!
DIRTY ARMY!!! If you need Greg spray to last longer in bed to satisfy a women you need to get off your ass, get in shape, and start pounding vaagg. Spraying stuff on ya Greg before smashing tells chicks your a L O S E E E R R. Pretty pathetic Nik.
WHY, oh, whhhhhhyyyyyyy do people obsess over what they’re NOT getting, instead of finding someone who gives them what they need/want?!
Seriously.
This shiz is SO ponderous!!!
STOP making excuses and GO get some results.
#dirtymotivator
Greek Goddess you are SO lame. AND always have been. Hashtags are not meant for this site. Do you know what a Hashtag is designed for? please change your style or stop posting. Brown nosing bizznitch
isn’t lame a color? stop obsessing over me chachi. i never say shizz–if you REALLY knew what you were talking about you’d know i have nothing to prove by butchering the language eau anglais.
I’m pretty sure this isn’t real. And everything in it is just pseudoscientific hokum.
Nik, did you write this post or the product’s ad exec?