Meet The New Future Mrs. Bam Margera

June 7, 2013 Dirty Athletes, Philadelphia, The Dirty 288 138,786 Views

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, well it seems that Bam Margera, who was recently caught on video smoking crack during a tour in Oz by his tour manager Glen, has sunk even lower. This is Nicole Boyd, one of the many girls Bam cheated on Missy with. In April of last year she faked a pregnancy to get Bam to move her out here, and then conveniently miscarried in May before there her first appointment with him & Ape.

Anywho, long story short, between her meth addiction, his everything addiction and a lack of sobriety for over a year, these two have just announced that they are engaged. Yay! So I thought since it was mainly us locals who have been exposed to this super classy broad, I’d allow you to introduce her to the world.

I’m not even gonna lie, I’m putting her out there because I work at a place they come in to when they’re in town and she is a b*tch. She almost always sends food back, intentionally spills drinks and smirks when you come over to clean them up, he fingers her in the booths and wipes his hands on the seats, like eeeww.

Last straw was that she tried to get a waitress fired because she told the manager that Nikki was doing coke in the bathroom, she tried to say that the waitress was doing it instead. As if we could afford coke, not all of us have a former reality star hooked on drugs to the point where he bankrolls everything her itty bitty t*tties desire!

So congrats to you Nicole Boyd, on showing all gold digging wannabe models that if they just hook a sugar daddy on drugs long enough to where they cannot function without meth, xanax, then adderall, coke, and booze long enough, they too can get a ring put on it. And you, Bam, who has already lost so much these past few years, I hope you don’t knock her up.. between genetics and drugs, that would be one hell of a “hills have eyes” baby.  Click here to see some hearts.

Someone needs to tell Bam that Pirates of the Caribbean is just a movie.- nik