THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, Look, I’ve been with my girl for 6 years, she wants to marry me and all that stuff, she’s great and all, but she’s a little dull sometimes. She wants to be a vet, likes chick flicks and listens to One Direction… I’d be more willing to get more serious but there’s a girl I CANNOT get out of my head, her name is Holly Brunt, I’ve never talked to her properly before but I see her all the time and she sounds like the fucking bomb. She’s a musician, artist, model… Look man, is this girl worth risking my 6 year relationship? And… Would you?
Answer: No, anyone who cuts their own bangs is a head case.