My Future Wife

March 17, 2011 Maryland, The Dirty, Washington DC 22 6,297 Views

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, meet Tatiana aka the girl I want to make my future wife. I have had classes with her for about a year now and she might just be hands down the most hottest Persian girl I have ever met. Not to mention she speaks French, sexy. I know she was in some beauty pageant because on FB I saw, and there is this site called University Rated, and my friend put her picture on there and most people want to be posted on there but she was actually I think upset she was on it, which I don’t know why since she is in the top 24. She is not in a sorority, yet still people think she is the sh*t. Should I pursue her?

Pursue her after she gets the Iranian nose job. There is no such thing as Persian unless it is a rug or a cat.- nik



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Playboy Terp

January 13, 2011 Maryland 8 6,221 Views

Playboy Terp

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is Rachel. I was in several of her classes at Maryland and thought she was beautiful. A couple of years ago I found out that she was on playboy but she obviously used a stage name. I just began coming to your site and I figure it would be the best place to find out where I can find her playboy shoot pictures. So Nick please help me find those pictures.

I would check the girls who got rejected bin.- nik



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Baby Please Come Home

December 6, 2010 Maryland, The Dirty 104 5,828 Views

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I just want to say you are my biggest idol. I have followed you since the beginning. I’m not as strong as you when it comes to women and that is why I’m reaching out for some DA guidance. I have a beautiful wife in my eyes. I adore her, she is my world Nik. Currently we are going through a rough patch. Six months ago she caught me mixing pest control poisoning in our dog’s food bowl. Before you get all crazy on me Nik please understand that our dog was a blind 13 year old husky who could barely walk. Everyday for the past year and a half I would have to pick up the dog to sh*t outside. The problem was if I didn’t get outside fast enough she would piss and sh*t all over me. This happened 85% of the time and I couldn’t take it anymore. As a husband I had to be happy and terminate the dog without my wife knowing, but me being an idiot I thought my wife was sleeping and she watched me pour the poison pellets into the food. It took me three months to win her back since the dog Roxy was in her life before me. Her Mom has not spoken to me since the incident and refuses to eat over at our house or try any of my wife’s yearly Christmas cookies. Anyway that drama has past and now I have a new HUGE problem. I work from home on my computer and rarely does my wife come into the office unless she makes me strawberry lemonade. I actually don’t think she has ever used a computer since we have been married. She is a bookworm. Man I f*cked up Nik. The other day she must of been looking for something and stumbled into my office and caught me masterbating to a picture of her sister from a camping trip we went on last summer. She screamed and immediately called her sister yelling at her thinking we were doing it. Her sister just turned 19 and is still a virgin with a very mature body. So Nik I haven’t spoken to my wife and I have no idea where she is. Nobody in her family will answer my phone calls. I have cried all weekend brother and I need your advice. Do you think it is over? Did I ruin my life Nik? I know I’m being a pussy right now but I love my wife and want her back home. Meredith if by some chance on God’s green earth you are reading this I LOVE YOU. Please come home.

Meredith, you are jumping the gun. True love is hard to find in this world and your husband truly loves you. So what… he masturbated to your sister, she tastes the same as you anyway. Don’t ruin two lives over snail trails on your computer screen.- nik



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Would You Hit This Small Town Teacher

November 3, 2010 Maryland, Would You? 4 7,739 Views

Would You Hit This Small Town Teacher?

Would You Hit This Small Town Teacher?

Would You Hit This Small Town Teacher?

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik This is Jessica, Or better Known as Ms. Schn*****, She prances around the Local High School here in NE, Maryland Like she owns it With her Skirts That show off her Cellulite Ridden Ass. My friend Showed me these Photos And i Just couldn’t Resist.. Who would let this IT Teach?! I guess whale’s need to be fed too.

Answer: No, I don’t think I’ll be able to have sex for about a week now…thanks.



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Scammin Dyke

November 1, 2010 Dirty Predator, Maryland, New England 14 7,746 Views

Scammin Dyke

Scammin Dyke

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik I met this ho on a dating website. She seemed pretty genuine so when she said she lost her job and her family was having some problems I sent her some cash so she could get by. She promised me a really good time in return if you know what I mean. Then the bitch disappeared off zoosk. This is a warning to other guys out there. She goes by Katie Smith and lives in Baltimore.

Your an idiot.  I’m sure you spent more on her then you would have with an escort 10x better looking to.- nik



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Perfect 10

July 27, 2010 Maryland, Washington DC, Would You? 9 5,474 Views

perfect 10

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik meet molly, hottest chick in my college, maryland, ud be crazy not to hit.

You have to be crazy to think this guy is even close to a 10…I don’t see one distinguishing feminine feature on her.  If you were a perfect 10 you wouldn’t be able to pass as a guy if your hair was chopped off.- nik



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Can You Keep Your Legs Closed Please

April 15, 2010 Baltimore, Maryland, The Dirty 12 9,339 Views

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is Courtney she hops around all the Baltimore clubs and bars thinking shes hot sh*t. She puts other girls down by calling them fat and ugly to make herself feel better…has she not looked in the mirror. Shes 19, has a fake i.d and thinks shes so cool. Someone needs to give this girl a reality check please!

She needs to act older and stop drinking beer.  She doesn’t understand that beer makes her fat.- nik



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MD Stud? In A Honda

April 1, 2010 ASU, Dirty Rides, Maryland, Scottsdale 7 9,713 Views

MD stud? in a Honda?

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, check out this ballin ass MD STUD i caught rolling clean in Rocky Point for spring break. BRB not being a MD if i can still only afford a 99 Accord.

Figures, he is in Rocky Point with all the young kids throwing around his college course set up to them and it probably got him nowhere. Forgy.- nik



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