THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this girl thinks she is Gods gift to men?  For everyone that doesn’t know her, you are probably wondering why the hell she would be thinking that.  Well you can thank the Vikings practice squad, all those have and it’s very sad because that gives her the fuel to think she is super hot and everyone wants her.  I guess at the end of the day, she is happy, so can’t hate to much.

She is God’s gift to Blackmen.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I don’t know what you think about this girl… but I believe she is near perfect.  She has beautiful long hair, nice full lips, gorgeous, skinny legs, no refund gap and the perfect smile.  I truly melt when I think about her and my greg gets a nice tingly sensation.  Can you believe she is from Minnesota?

I know her well, she is not from Minnesota.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, so on Saturday, Joe Mauer asked his girlfriend of 1 1/2 years to marry him. She of course, said yes. The soon-to-be Mrs. Mauer went to Cretin-Derham Hall High School with him. Apparently, they have been friends for about 7 years, but never dated in high school. They recently “rekindled their friendship a few years ago.” Maddie Bisanz, a nurse, is now the most hated girl in Minnesota. Joe Mauer has a 7-year contract worth $184 million. Please tell me this won’t last!

This is the best Joe Mauer can do? Not for nothing, but the nose and 22-head are very unique.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Chole is from Toronto the whole peace sign Kris is attempting is a total fraud his guilty conscious got the best of him so he tried to play it off what do you think Nik?

I think Kris is going to be banging so many b*tches now that he is rich from the Secret Contract (payout non-disclosure) he just signed.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, on my way to work this morning I was listening to one of the local radio morning shows and they were discussing their current hot chick of the day. Amanda Roadmen. People in Minnesota are being duped. Check out the website.

Hey 93X the girl Amanda Roadmen doesn’t exist. This is a fake person who stole another girls pictures. Wake-up and read TheDirty.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, alright, here’s Marissa, finally a Minnesotan worthy of Would You.. Sweet, smart, and in a long term relationship. so tell me nik whats wrong with this girl? WOULD YOU?!

She is not worthy of a “Would You”, but Minnesota should be proud that they have at least one normal looking girl. Someone tell Zuckerberg to put his shirt back on and tell his friend to relax on the sneaky fingers.- nik