THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is Brittany.  She thinks she is the hottest thing at Mississippi State but she is crazy, she needs +2′s and her blow hole is ridiculous. I just wanted her to know whats up so her head doesnt get any bigger because so many of her friends are starting to dislike her and talking bad behind her back.  Also Nik, I’m also a junior here and want you and the Dirty Army to get ready, because I’m putting every freshman I slay on TheDirty this year.

Slay strong and close your eyes ever time because it is all the same on the inside.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I want you to meet Devon.  She is one of the hottest girls in Mississippi and since I am a true Dirty Army soldier I wanted to send in a hot girl from here since you never have any on your site.  She is a blonde and has some nice +2′s and she loves to get down in the bed, you can pretty much do anything you want and she is game for it.  Nik, what you think and would you with this dime piece? Would you? I did..

Answer:  No, thanks for ruining any chance of me ever coming to Mississippi… this chick is beat.  She has something on her lip and a very blubbery face.

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik this is Raegan. She is gorgeous, though maybe kind of snobby, would you? don’t give up on brunettes yet!

Answer: no. Your not helping with this…she has chipped teeth, pointy cheeks and I’m assuming I won’t like the body.

Finally someone gets a picture of Tiger Woods.  Good job National Enquirer.  I am surprised he chose a sex rehab in the United States.  There are so many cooler ones with better thread count overseas.  Especially places like Sweden (they f*ck like rabbits over there from what I hear).