THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this fruit loop right here is Nicholas Cooper AKA “Nikk”. He is Lakewood Ohio’s biggest sloot. He has fooled around with both chicks and dicks since he hit puberty. It’s disgusting. He says he’s completely gay now and I hope he is because when he was playing both sides it was just awful. Ladies watch out, he will try to turn your man to his side. Seriously, he will pretend to be any chick’s best friend then once you leave he is all over you man. He is such a fake. Some think the gayness is a front to get close to his lady friends and get some boob grabbage in too. I dont know. I really don’t get him. He needs to lose some weight ASAP though or he’s only gonna be a bottom feeder. He tries to act better than everyone and acts like he has this perfect little life. Don’t let him fool you, his mom is weird as hell and thinks she can like sell art or something and his dad still hasn’t accepted him. He tried to move south with some family right after high school to get a “fresh start” and go to school down there… HA! He’s right back in Cleveland now. What a baller. He tries to act all mature but he is just as bad as ever, always sh*t talks his friends behind their backs, calling them wh*res and anything he can think of. Word is he’s going to OU next fall… so here’s your warning Athens, the next Perez Hilton is on his way.

Fat people should never have facial hair, it only makes them look poor and dirty.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this lame 8ss douchebag is Tim Howell. He’s a Lakewood boy who goes to school at OU. This dude thinks hes hot sh*t. In the beginning of high school he was a geeky, chubby kid who was actually pretty chill. Then halfway through high school he started working out (not naturally of course, this tool has taken steroids), lost a bunch of weight, got a haircut and started acting like the cockiest mother f*cker around. He talks so much sh*t but can never back it up. He sleeps around SOO MUCH, its disgusting! and he talks sh*t about every girl he sleeps with like their pieces of sh*t. He has no respect for women. I don’t think hes even had a girlfriend since way before he had his makeover. All he does is f*ck em and leave em. This guy also dogs all his guy friends behind their backs yet they are still there for him. He’s a selfish pig.

Sounds like his mother didn’t love him enough growing up.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, check this crazy b*tch out. This is May Muth. She is one of the biggest wh*res I know. She is willing to give it up to just about anybody that is breathing and willing. A few years ago her and her best friend were known for tag team blow jobs. She has cheated on her most recent boyfriend numerous times. AND that isnt a first for May, she does it with every single dude she dates. CONSTANTLY CHEATING! She thinks shes some kind of princess or something. Maybe she wants to be barbie, I just dont get it. She looks like a drag queen. Even her closest friends say that about her. Shes posted pics up on facebook a bunch of times stating that she wants to look just like lady gaga. I know alot of people rag on lady gaga about looking like a man, but may looks worse than lady gaga… kinda scary! I guess it kinda makes sense though because shes not very lady like. At any party shes the girl being louder than any dude, burping, farting, and anything in between. She is always cutting her hair and bleaching it out. Its gross. Her ends are so dry and her roots are even worse. She should do everyone a favor and either keep up on the dye and cut or just dye her hair something appealing. Its practically white nowadays. I feel bad for her boyfriend. He seems like a good guy but may is always cheating and calling him fat and ugly behind his back. I dont think this dude even has a clue. He is probabaly just with her for the hype of her being so slooty. So may its time to understand: 1. Lady Gaga will always look better than you. 2. Youre not a princess. 3. Youre a wh*re. THE END.

You’ve now seen the muffin man…- nik