THE DIRTY ARMY: Ever since the gangnam style video came out Lara Mirasol has reinvented herself as a Korean, would you?

She needs some longer eye tails + her bodies not tubular enough.  Why would you wanna look like a noodle anyways.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this guy is probably the creepiest of the creepers in San Diego, and that’s saying a lot — what your readers may or may not know is that in addition to its beautiful weather and mediocre sports teams, San Diego is ground zero for overaged, creepy, frat boy types. Pacific Beach is like their Mecca (see posts on PB Millionaire), as it is for the dirtiest of the dirty c*ke addled sloots (see the To-Do List). This guy Sean Conan is really creepy. He is pale and schlubby and just really predatorial. He lives in a (filthy) studio apartment in Pacific Beach (he tells women it’s his “beach house”). . . there is trash and filth all over the floors. On the nightstand he has a claw hammer, a bottle of lotion, Kleenex, some duct tape, a police baton and a bottle of gin. I swear, I cannot make this crap up. “How does she know?” you might ask. Well, a friend gave me his number and I set up a tentative date. I was really tired from work, so I asked if it would be okay if we just hung out and did something really mellow like watch a movie — I’d bring over a dvd and takeout. I told him I was dressing down in yoga pants, so not to get too dressed up — be comfortable. When I got to his door, I knocked and he said, “Come in, it’s open.” I walked in and he was naked on his Ikea sofabed (except for tube socks), beating it and smiling. I screamed, dropped the food and ran. He sent me a text later asking if I wanted to apologize for (wait for it. . .) “sending mixed signals by saying ‘wear something comfortable’.” I work in law enforcement. . . in retrospect, I kind of wish I’d tasered his cock. Not content with this, a few days later he sent me a pic of his small, pale penis with the text: “Feel like you missed out on something?” He’s also tried to stalk a few of my friends off Facebook. He’s just incredibly creepy. . . oh, and he continually brags about his BA from Chico State and his Master’s from Ashford University. He has even said he wants “Master Sean Conan” printed on his checks. . . because, as he rationalized this, “Doctors have their title on their checks.” Oh, and he calls his junk “The Conan” and calls himself: Sean San Jose; Sugar Sean; Seany Nony; The Pacific Beach Bad Boy; and Seantastic. He has a beat-ass Mustang with 2 Sigma Chi license plate frames he calls the “Stanger Banger,”. PS. In the first photo, he is sleeping during a Super Bowl party with his hands down his pants in someone’s living room. And he’s 31.

It’s not healthy to sleep on a mattress with no bedsheets.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, you may or may not know this, but… when Crystal Harris, aka Hef’s former fiance, lived in San Diego she worked as a hooker for this girl Jessica downtown, in a condo across the street from San Diego City College. She actually kicked Crystal out because guys couldn’t stand her — she would just stare at herself in the mirror and reapply her lipstick. She was working for $300 an hour and couldn’t keep work because she is just such a headcase.

Thank God Crystal Harris got +2′s to even out the stomach region.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, Dr.Hector Milla is the boss at Face & Body design in Zona Rio Tijuana in the Edificio Mexchino building close to the border his spic slame ball would fuck anything women tranny cross dresser with two legs as long as they like to do hammer rails of uncut Columbia bam bam of his 2 inch hard penis thanks to the little blue pills he takes, this slime ball gave Genital drd to the last Patient Coordinator Irene Fausto and now the new one Mavy Martinez he knows he has it and is still fcking hoes without a condom shit that is so funny he gave the whore drd and they still work for his btch ass cause they need the money, he is a cross dresser and he likes to wear women’s underwear and get slammed with a 9 inch black dildo and he likes women to put a strap on dildo on and fck him in the ass with it, he has a few busted cke head hoes in San Diego that fcked him for a free boob job or vaginoplasty but this border jumping beaner wet back can even give a bid tit job or nose job the bitch look like Micheal Jackson on crck after he is done with them he is a old loser with grey hair that has to pay for the pssy he gets or fck the slut that work at his office.

Nothing in life is free.- nik