SDSU | Nik Richie + Dirty Army intel, opinions, gossip, satire, and celebrities - Part 6

Natalie Bee Is Not Good At Photoshop

November 29, 2012 Las Vegas, SDSU, The Dirty 5

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, struggling cocktail waitress Natalie Bee can’t seem to keep a consistent bust size in her photos, jumping from A – D inbetween each instagram post.  Makes me wonder why some girls do the dumb things they do. Photoshop is for liars.

It is weird how the purple cuts into her arms and the shade line on her breasts in the first image.- nik

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San Diego Has Nothing But Quality

November 21, 2012 Dirty Army Strong, San Diego, SDSU, The Dirty 14

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik! I am really upset about that tranny disaster Lauren Hallen becoming a DC and representing San Diego so I had to submit a quality girl to show that SD has better things to offer. This is Chanel Celaya, she is originally from SD but now I believe she lives and works in LA. She got a big break modeling for Guess and since then has had a pretty steady career. I never met her personally but I know some of her friends and have heard she is also sweet, down to earth, and super funny. Obviously she is lacking in one important department, but she is still hot. Not many girls still look good without photoshop or make up on. So just wanted to let the DA know that San Diego has way more to offer than beat chicks with clown t*ts!! What do you think Nik?

I think she has a Hope Solo body. I thought the first image was a dude for a second.- nik

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Major Creeper

November 20, 2012 San Diego, SDSU 5

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik,  Chris Bledsoe AKA \”Wings\” is a con artist. Moves here from TX to become a chef and buddies up with unsuspecting people saying he needs a place to stay and steals from them, even his own best friend who is in the Marines! Pawning peoples belongings, borrowing money because he has none and making up sob stories. Dont fall for him, he tries to charm you then stabs you in the back.

Don’t let Chris stay at your place people.- nik

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Lexis Baker Has The Biggest Mouth Ever

November 19, 2012 San Diego, SDSU 19

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is Lexis Alyss Baker, she has the biggest mouth ever always trying to pick fights for entertainment. She also claims to have a job but in reality she is fingering herself for money infront of a computer screen, she even has a group of skank wh*res who she meets up with so they can make out with eachother for “tips”. This is discusting especially since she has a boyfriend whom she lives with. I think she looks like a dog but shes pretty obbsessed with herself.

Her weight is all over the place.- nik

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He’s Not Funny, He’s Annoying

October 26, 2012 San Diego, SDSU 25

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik I had to put this guy on blast. His name is Jake Deselle and he has been stealing tweets from this guy, copying and pasting them to his facebook status and claiming them as his own so that all his friends think he is funny. Truth is he isn’t funny, he’s actually really f*cking annoying. I get it people do this sometimes they will post a facebook status after reading a funny tweet that someone else posted and put it as their facebook status…but this guy is doing it multiple times a day, doesn’t even put it in quotes just claims it as his own, and people have called him out before but he just denies denies denies and says he’s original and doesn’t nees to steal other people’s tweets. Well the proof is in the pudding lol this douchebag finally got caught.

Those comments aren’t  funny or entertaining, what’s the point?  Also, just gunna throw this out there, don’t be mad cause his comments are getting more attention then yours.- nik

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Fitness Guru Lara Mirasol Wants To Be Korean

October 18, 2012 San Diego, SDSU, Would You? 24

THE DIRTY ARMY: Ever since the gangnam style video came out Lara Mirasol has reinvented herself as a Korean, would you?

She needs some longer eye tails + her bodies not tubular enough.  Why would you wanna look like a noodle anyways.- nik

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Gross Creepy Pacific Beach Dirtbag

October 15, 2012 Dirty Predator, San Diego, SDSU 258

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this guy is probably the creepiest of the creepers in San Diego, and that’s saying a lot — what your readers may or may not know is that in addition to its beautiful weather and mediocre sports teams, San Diego is ground zero for overaged, creepy, frat boy types. Pacific Beach is like their Mecca (see posts on PB Millionaire), as it is for the dirtiest of the dirty c*ke addled sloots (see the To-Do List). This guy Sean Conan is really creepy. He is pale and schlubby and just really predatorial. He lives in a (filthy) studio apartment in Pacific Beach (he tells women it’s his “beach house”). . . there is trash and filth all over the floors. On the nightstand he has a claw hammer, a bottle of lotion, Kleenex, some duct tape, a police baton and a bottle of gin. I swear, I cannot make this crap up. “How does she know?” you might ask. Well, a friend gave me his number and I set up a tentative date. I was really tired from work, so I asked if it would be okay if we just hung out and did something really mellow like watch a movie — I’d bring over a dvd and takeout. I told him I was dressing down in yoga pants, so not to get too dressed up — be comfortable. When I got to his door, I knocked and he said, “Come in, it’s open.” I walked in and he was naked on his Ikea sofabed (except for tube socks), beating it and smiling. I screamed, dropped the food and ran. He sent me a text later asking if I wanted to apologize for (wait for it. . .) “sending mixed signals by saying ‘wear something comfortable’.” I work in law enforcement. . . in retrospect, I kind of wish I’d tasered his cock. Not content with this, a few days later he sent me a pic of his small, pale penis with the text: “Feel like you missed out on something?” He’s also tried to stalk a few of my friends off Facebook. He’s just incredibly creepy. . . oh, and he continually brags about his BA from Chico State and his Master’s from Ashford University. He has even said he wants “Master Sean Conan” printed on his checks. . . because, as he rationalized this, “Doctors have their title on their checks.” Oh, and he calls his junk “The Conan” and calls himself: Sean San Jose; Sugar Sean; Seany Nony; The Pacific Beach Bad Boy; and Seantastic. He has a beat-ass Mustang with 2 Sigma Chi license plate frames he calls the “Stanger Banger,”. PS. In the first photo, he is sleeping during a Super Bowl party with his hands down his pants in someone’s living room. And he’s 31.

It’s not healthy to sleep on a mattress with no bedsheets.- nik

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Did You Know About Crystal Harris’ Past In San Diego

October 12, 2012 Hollywood, San Diego, SDSU, The Dirty 52

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, you may or may not know this, but… when Crystal Harris, aka Hef’s former fiance, lived in San Diego she worked as a hooker for this girl Jessica downtown, in a condo across the street from San Diego City College. She actually kicked Crystal out because guys couldn’t stand her — she would just stare at herself in the mirror and reapply her lipstick. She was working for $300 an hour and couldn’t keep work because she is just such a headcase.

Thank God Crystal Harris got +2′s to even out the stomach region.- nik

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