THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik this is the ugliest pageant queen ever. Where should we start with this pageant girl / wanna-be stanford undergraduate / wanna-be celebrity / wanna-be chinatown star (she thinks she will get famous making ridiculous appearances). There are plenty more “wanna-be” titles that we can award her with since she joined so many pageants and finally get this miss chinatown title in 2010, after she did all she could, bribed the judges, slept with the sponsors. LOL!! So after her pageant experiences, she now walked in stanford, everyone knows that she got in stanford because of her bitch chinatown title, not her 2.5 GPA! How do you expect her winning an asian hippo? We all know that she mopped the floor for the director in her 2007 miss teen chinatown pageant , and she washed the car for the director when she came back to run for miss chinatown in 2010. it’s a scam, that’s how she won. or elsewise, she couldn’t even had a chance. she’s very ugly both outside and inside, in fact, she’s evil, a monster. she stole her friends’ boyfriends; she copied other people’s work and put her name on the papers; she pretended to be nice but talk trash in the back; she could smile at you then chop your head off. this evil hearted girl, better confess before it gets too late.

Not with those gangrene pits of hers.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: So Nik, I need your help putting this lying, retarded douchebag on blast! This is John Burns (if that’s his real name), the most sorry excuse for a penis I have ever seen. Me and a girl friend met him at a bar, and he started spitting all sorts of whack game at her. He started by saying he was the owner of a nudist resort in the Santa Cruz Mountains (He eventually said he owned a third. That went from owning the restaurant on the resort, now he claims to be the kitchen manager). He then bragged that he owned 2 Jaguars (He owns one). What I don’t get is why would someone brag about owning a Jaguar? It’s a total old lady car!! He also originally told us he was married once before (turned out to be twice), and he owned a pot far (another total lie, as there were no crops to be found). All this douche does is throw whack ass parties at his resort (where underaged kids show up and get f*cked up on drugs), and use people for drugs. Worst of all, he claims to be 32 years old. COME ON!! He’s 45 if he’s a day! He allegedly slips roofies into girls drinks and sleeps with them.He promises people the world, and never delivers. He is currently under legal suspicion of raping a girl at the resort. Oh, and he’s 5’2. Anyhow, time to show the world what a sorry waste of a Y-Chromosone that John Burns is!!

I’m no tranny expert, but, that guy is definitely grabbing the pec of a large wigged man.  Go get’em sailor.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: nik, I think you would agree when  I say that california girls are the best, and better yet a brunette. This girl is all natural and cute as can be, so Nik would you?

Answer: no.  Her chin comes to a point and body is a little thick.

THE DIRTY ARMY: So Nik, just when I thought San Jose couldn’t get moe douchebaggy, I stumble across this at Westfield Valley Fair. Come spring, I’m thinking about renouncing my US citizenship and move abroad ( I was gonna say I’d move to France, but then I remembered Christian Audigay is from France).

These stores will be gone in a year from the opening date.- nik