UCSB | Nik Richie + Dirty Army intel, opinions, gossip, satire, and celebrities

Elliot Rodgers Had An Amazing Life

May 24, 2014 Hollywood, Santa Barbara, The Dirty, UCSB 303


THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I don’t understand why girls wouldn’t have sex with Elliot Rodgers? Yeah, he’s a little creepy but the dude had money. What girl wouldn’t sleep with this kid just for his pockets? I feel like Elliot didn’t apply himself properly and now people are dead. What a shame.

My heart goes out to all the victims of this tragedy. I blame the Hunger Games.- nik

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Elliot Rodger’s Retribution YouTube Video Linked To College Shootings

May 24, 2014 Santa Barbara, The Dirty, UCSB 375

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, a young man who posted a chilling YouTube message declaring his intent to take revenge on the world for his own sexual rejection may be involved in the shooting death of six people near the University of California. In the video entitled “Elliot Rodger’s retribution”, the young man describes his loneliness and rage, saying, “girls gave their affection and sex and love to other men but never to me”. “Girls, all I’ve ever wanted was to love you and to be loved by you. I’ve wanted sex. I’ve wanted love, affection, adoration. You think I’m unworthy of it. That’s a crime that can never be forgiven. If I can’t have you girls, I will destroy you. “This is my last video, it all has to come to this. Tomorrow I will have my revenge against humanity, against all of you.” He says that although he is 22 he has never even been kissed or had sex. Police at a press conference said the video would “appear to be connected” to the shooting. The shooting began at around 9.30pm near a Santa Barbara college campus. Within a few minutes seven people, including the suspect, were dead and another seven wounded. Police say the suspect sprayed gunfire from his black BMW and exchanged shots with officers twice before the car crashed. The suspect was found dead with a gunshot wound to the head, although it is not yet known if it was self-inflicted. A semi-automatic handgun was recovered from the scene. The shootings occurred at several sites, resulting in nine crime scenes.

Can a brother just get laid?- nik

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Santa Barbara Girls Want To Be Famous

January 29, 2014 The Dirty, UCSB 28


THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, please lets put an end to the duck face wannabe models of Santa Barbara and Goleta! This girl Emily Leyva loves to take off her clothes in public and loves getting boned out by every guy that sells weed or any wannabe gangster with lame ass tattoos.  She spends her free time bragging on social media that she is a model when she really just goes to the beach with her fugly little friends and they take turns taking pictures of each other in tiny little bikinis.  Let’s give this girl and her slutty friends the fame that they so desperately want!

Are +2′s illegal in the county of Santa Barbara?- nik

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Charles Fosset-Lee

January 2, 2014 Santa Barbara, UCSB 0

THE DIRTY ARMY: Let me tell you about this guy named Charles Fossett-Lee. So I am at a party in IV and meet this guy named Charles Fosset-Lee. He kept telling me that he had this supper hot girlfriend, even though I pegged him for gay, and insisted on me meeting her. A few drinks later he shows me some pics of this hot ass chick that is supposed to be his gf and says he wants me to have sex with her, buzzed and intrigued I gave him my number and went home for the night. That night I kept getting texts from this person claiming to be Charles’s gf saying she wants to do all kinds of things to me. We text for a little while and I asked her if she wanted to meet up. This is where it gets interesting; to meet up with her she tells me first I have to get my dick sucked by her boyfriend Charles. Lol, I told her no way and dismissed it. A little later I told my friend this story and he cracked up cuz the exact same thing happened to him by the same guy. He also told me that this Charles guy posts on craigslist posing as a chick, sends some fake pics of a hot chick and then says you can have her and do whatever you want to her after you get your dick sucked by Charles, her boyfriend. Come on man, I don’t care if you straight or gay or bi or whatever but going around sb lying and deceiving is sick. Nik what do you think is this guy’s problem?

The problem is this tactic works, a couple dumbass’s is all it takes.- nik

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Fabian Rios

July 30, 2013 San Francisco, UCSB 36

THE DIRTY ARMY: So Nik this is Fabian Rios, he’s a Swedish student who used to study in sb and let me tell you this kid is a piece work. First off, every weekend he would drink a shit ton and would hit on anything that moved. One time in iV me and my buds walked in on him butt fcking some 210 lb chick, no joke! Talk about a chubby chaser! This guy f*cks the ugliest chicks I have ever seen. He is the lowest of the low and frankly is the saddest excuse for a man. He has a beautiful sweet gf who he’s been cheating on for a year and a half. Poor girl! I feel sorry for anyone who has to deal with this guy… Hes the biggest asshole and is a walking drd. Beware girls he gave my friend genital drds twice! (What a gentleman) nik this douchebag needs to be put on blast!

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Can’t Turn A Housewife

July 30, 2013 Los Angeles, Santa Barbara, UCSB, Would You? 10

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, This is Amanda Cato or should I say Amanda Rohn now.An ex SBCC student who dropped out of school to be a sugar-baby,or should I say flunked out because she is a moron.This girl is known in two states for being a whiny little whore with major daddy issues.She has been with so many guys,in order to fulfill the emptiness in her life.She has always been looking for someone who can take care of her,and put up with her bullshit.Anyways long story short she recently married a man in who got her into religion and they are now about to have a baby.But my real question is can you really turn a whore into a housewife? Or do you think she is probably just with this guy because he actually puts up with her and giver her a free place to live and whatever she needs? I have a hard time believing this bar whore can be a good housewife,she’s had  twice! On a side note would you??

Answer: No, that wonderbra pic is dated (bottom) and she now has soccer mom arms.

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The Orfield

July 3, 2013 Los Angeles, UCSB 5

THE DIRTY ARMY: this skank was bad enough before she rushed a sorority, her last name is Orfield and she earned herself the nickname Whorefield by the middle of her freshman year.By her sophomore year she’d f*cked at least 5 guys in the same frat and a a whole house of 6 non frat housemates. Seriously this girl will shove her balloon tits (cause they’re the best things she’s got) at anything and used to make out with girls just to get attention. this nasty chick doesn’t care if the guys she fcks have a gf, she used to cheat on her bf ALL the time – multiple randos and a solid f*ck buddy on the side. EW much?

Quite the imaginative nickname.- nik

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Holy Breezus

May 6, 2013 Santa Barbara, UCSB, Would You? 4

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, when I came to UCSB 2 years ago, I was expecting to see the hottest sorority girls. Blonde, skinny, big tits, and for the most part that’s what I get every night. So imagine my surprise when I see this thing sporting Tri Delta wear, tryna slut it up like she’s a pornstar. There are a lot of ugly girls like her here, but this one takes the cake for being an absolute bitch to her sisters and anyone else that looks too long at her barrel waist and monkey face. Some of my guy friends say they would still hit it (after several dozen shots), so I guess I’m asking, would you with this sista?

Answer: No, noodles look odd with dimples, even more so when they look like they play soccer.

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