UCSB | Nik Richie + Dirty Army intel, opinions, gossip, satire, and celebrities - Part 6

Plastic Surgery Or Pepsi

January 12, 2011 Dirty Army Strong, San Francisco, The Dirty, UCSB 68

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this girl is Stephanie. She used to be super sweet and normal. Sometime in her 4 years at Convent High School is San Francisco things look to have gone downhill. She fo sho got a nose job and her body is like unnatural almost sickly looking. For what I’ve heard it’s most likely from all the pepsi her and her friends do down there. She goes to Santa Barbra City not UCSB. It just looks like this girl is killing herself. Nik, tell me I’m wrong and that this girl doesn’t look plastic-ed out and drug over kill. Hopefully she learns that she could just be pretty the way she was but sadly that’d probably only happen over a line.

I think she looks good… still needs to lose a little around the blow hole, but other than that she looks healthy to me.- nik



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Nasty SB Sloot…With A Possible Greg

January 5, 2011 UCSB, Would You? 6

Nasty SB HOOKER....with a possible greg.

Nasty SB HOOKER....with a possible greg.

Nasty SB HOOKER....with a possible greg.

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik this is gemma higgins and her gremlin friends.. she is a pepsi head, santa barbara trash….. she postss these pics everywhere online and thinks she and her huge troll friends are the hottest around… im asking nik, what do you think? i want to puke up my lunch.

Answer: No, luckily I haven’t eaten lunch yet. Lets play find her elbow in the second pic.



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Sheckler #2′s New Girl

December 22, 2010 Hollywood, San Clemente, The Dirty, UCSB 28

Sheckler#2's new girl

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, looks like Sheckler number 2′s taking after his big bro in the lady department. At a friday night house party Shane and this girl were unseparable, every time i looked over she was either on his lap and they were sucking face or he was groping her. After she got completely wasted the two left together, hand in hand. I found out she’s a graduate from Dana Hills and her name’s Audrey C****. She’s a pretty girl but seems easy, what do you think Nik?

I think we need to know her real name without stars and see a real picture. Who the hell is Shane Sheckler?- nik



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The Salmon Creep

December 8, 2010 Dirty Greeks, The Dirty, UCSB 40

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I can’t Believe I hooked up with this sh*thead!!! After a long night of iv partying I made my way over to a greek establishment hoping for some late night fun, all I found was this clown. Unfortunately I was so wasted I actually thought his in depth analysis of his restrung tennis racket was interesting, and he lured me into his lair. I tried to hook up with him just to shut him up, but he got sidetracked making a salmon burger on his panini grill, and proceeded to pass out mid sandwich. I proceeded to smoke all his pot and finish the sandwich before walking home. Nik, Blast this fool!

A Salmon Panini sandwich? I don’t even want to know what your down below regions smell like.- nik



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The Ugly

November 30, 2010 Hollywood, UCSB 5

theugly.com

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik These 5 girls couldn’t get uglier! the long face looks like an alien ,the red head looks hungry,the blonde is rethinking her friendship with them,the braceface is hiding the EXTRA, and big purple just saw a cake. these girls are desperate and go out every night searching. they need a new wardrobe….maybe a new face too.

Must be a bunch of new sorority sisters.- nik



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Scrawny Clinger

October 25, 2010 UCSB 3

Scrawny Clinger

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this guy Marcus Kib*** thinks he is the hottest sh*t out there! He has his shirt off all the time and brags about how many girls want him. He is also a cheap ass beware girls. Im sick of this douchebag thinking he is the king. Nik what do you think about this cockya*s dbag? Does he have room to talk? or is he desperatly for the gays?

For the Gays. Final Answer.- nik



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Too Red For Her Own Good

October 21, 2010 UCSB 29

Too Red For Her Own Good

Too Red For Her Own Good

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this girl on the left is the most conceited slut I have ever encountered. She came to my frat for a social, and she’s in one of the better sororities on campus. We made out…and then she proceeded to fool around with my friend immediately after. Turns out, she’s been hooking up all over my fraternity. I’m seriously done with this red bitch. What do you think of her? My friends think she’s at least a 6.

Done with her…you just made out.  She is a sloot though, bottom pic is a dead give-away.- nik



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Needs Help Raising Money For A Nose Job

October 11, 2010 Sacramento, UCSB 30

Need help raising money for her nosejob

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik this b*tch is disgusting and a total joke . Not only did I want to gag each time I saw her in high school with her abnormally large nose and beaver buck teeth, unfortunately I still have to see her whenever I am around sac and Roseville. She is loud, obnoxious, and will sleep with your man or anyone else for that matter. She pretends to be all innocent and turns on the “good girl act” but as soon as her boyfriend looks away, she spreads her legs for anyone in the same room as her. Alyssa go back to IV where you belong with all your trashy c*nt friends and let the boys run their trains through you. Your not wanted here.

Why would she want a nose job?  It suits her large joker’ish mouth, she doesn’t even need face paint to look like a clown.- nik



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