THE DIRTY ARMY: Hi Nik. I’ve recently become a huge fan of your site, and we happen to share a common interest, inner thigh gaps. I’m about 5’8 and 127 llbs and a size 0 but I don’t even have a slight gap. I know that I have narrow hips and was told that some people simply cannot achieve a gap. I was wondering if you knew anything about this and could recommend a way to achieve one. Thank you!

You can cheat and take this stuff to burn inner thigh fat. I need to see a better angle picture to know exactly how many inches you are short.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik here’s a New porta potty in the making hangs out at the playboy mansion as a regular, at the palms in vegas seen with the maloofs always with her manly blonde side kick. Constantly telling people they want to be hookers and models and think they are too good for real jobs. These girls are poorer than pay dirt live a total fake wannabe life style idolize the porta potties and have been talking to scooby and her troops to get in on it. They feel they have hit the jack pot. They go by so many alias’s its hard to keep track the brunettes a bit pudgy but has no problem getting down and dirty but is a total wannabe playmate still obsesses over it trying to get in with all the whose who in hollywood and totally thinks she has an in because she bangs one of the maloof brothers for free trips to fake a glamorized lifestyle the blonde is too old to be in the game to begin with and is never going to make it any where she thinks things should be handed to her without having to lift a finger she’s all talk even heff turned her away shes just a leech to anyone who will give her attention for five minutes. there both pathetic i hope they get pleasure out of getting p*ssed and sh*t on with scooby and the gang.

I can’t believe New England makes girls who think like this. #SHADY.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, found this while trawling the net, she might need some +2’s though would you still?  Natalie Pietrzak Miss Massachusetts 2012 is without a doubt one of the hottest girls in America.  If she only moved to Cali her life would be 27 times better with way more opportunity to put that body to use.

North Carolina has a better face.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, call me desperate or whatever but I made a profile on some online dating cluster f*ck and this guy hit me up. This guy goes by the name of “Terrence Duggan”. He (or the guy in the pics he sends) is obviously pretty goodlooking. He seems to be way more into sending dirty texts and asking me for phone sex than hanging out. Also, whenever I send him pictures and ask him to send one in return he’s all “I don’t have a camera phone.” Pardon me but who the f*ck doesn’t have a camera phone in 2011?  My neighbors dog has an IPhone. DIRTY ARMY I need your help reveaing this kids REAL identity so I can tell this creeper to f*ck off!

Sounds like he already has a girlfriend.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, This girl, her name is Angela, she likes to pin everything on everyone, when she is the common denominator to every problem. Shes jealous of everyone who is friends with men because she cant get the greg cause she doesn’t know what a healthy life is, she goes on a diet and 2 hours later you’ll see her at mcdonalds drivethru. Shes so desperate she convinces herself that guys want her, just to make herself feel better. She’ll meet a guy and 10 mins later say he wants her, she drills it in her own head that every hot guy she meets wants her “balls”. She has been with a guy for about 2 years now, and the only reason she is with him is because she knows its the only thing she can get, but yet she’ll go out and try to get with every penis she lays her eyes on. This girl used to be my bestfriend, now she’s just a pathetic dirty tampon laying on the side of the interstate. I know this is juvenile, but this girl has tried to hit me lower than low, so I’m gonna hit right back.

I think her pits sag more then her t*ts.- nik