These Girls Need Fixing

June 28, 2010 Utah, Would You? 19

1 HORSE 2 SLOOTS=  THAT'S UTAH FOR YOU

1 HORSE 2 SLOOTS=  THAT'S UTAH FOR YOU

1 HORSE 2 SLOOTS=  THAT'S UTAH FOR YOU

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik THE BRUNETTE HER NAME IS ARIANA THE BLONDE WHITNEY….CAN WE SAY OVER USED SLOOTS AND HORSE FACE? BOTH CAN’T KEEP THEIR LEGS CLOSED NOR CAN THEY FIX THEIR FIVE HEADS, HORSE FACES, AND NASTY SELVES. SO HERE IS A NEW HORSE FOR THE UTAH STABLE SAY HELLO TO ARIANA. AND AS FAR AS WHITNEY? SHE IS A NASTY B*ITCH AND FALLS IN LOVE WITH ANY GUY THAT WILL F*CK HER! OH AND LET ME WARN UTAH SHE HAS HAD OR DID HAVE THE CLAP AS FAR AND OFF AND ON FOR 6 YEARS. SO IF YOU HAVE TOUCHED, GET YOUR D*CK CHECKED. NIK, BOTH THESE GIRLS NEED TO CLOSE THOSE LEGS, GET BRACES, AND/OR GRAB SOME VAGASIL!

Sloots + Horses = Utah.- nik



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This Girls A Sloot

June 16, 2010 Utah 0

Brittany Wilhelm is a sloot!

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik This girl Brittany Wil**lm is a psycho with no friends because no one likes her or can stand her lying ways. She is fat and still thinks she is a hot girl and tries to flaunt her self to any man willing at the bar she works at. She always acts like she is the hottest thing ever but SERIOUSLY look at her face she looks like she got sh*t on. She has had sex with numerous guys and never tells them about how many partners she has had. She says she doesn’t have hardly any girl friends, because they all get so jealous of her looks and body. She’s lied about being pregnant to get attention and try to get back with her ex…she may look pregant b/c she is fat but she isnt! She also lied about having cancer so people would feel sorry for her. She still obsesses over her ex by emailing him and stalking him even though he’s married to another woman! SHE IS MARRIED to a GAY man so people won’t think he is a pedophile b/c he works with kids!

I never trust anybody who look like they can fly, aka you look like a bird.- nik



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Would You With Non Mormon From Salt Lake

June 14, 2010 Salt Lake City, Utah, Would You? 18

Nik, would you with non mormon from salt lake?

Nik, would you with non mormon from salt lake?

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I know Utah should be an abandoned state and everyone that isn’t mormon should jump ship and try making it in a better state BUT we do have a few girls that are amazingly beautiful. I cant let the trash from Utah that has been submitted thus far be the face of Utah! Meet Erica G. I went to high school with her and she was a sweet girl back then, and still is! I’m sure you’re thinking the girl lives in a tanning bed, but she’s half black! Thats why she has a pretty color and not oompa loomp looking! The only work she’s had done are her +2′s! She is by far the prettiest girl in Utah!! I know you have a ball n chain now, but would you with this brunette!?

Answer: No, she shoulda got braces to hold those horse teeth back.



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Nasty Thinks Shes A Hot Model

April 15, 2010 Los Angeles, Utah 24

Nasty fatass thinks she is a hot model

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik  This is Monica Sa** AKA “Saxy Dreamr” as she calls herself, from Utah/L.A. She thinks she is a model/actress, but she is a short fatass and not cute enough to ever make it in the biz. She looks like she’s 50 years old, no joke. She thinks she’s famous and gorgeous, when in fact she looks like a used up old hag. She is as DUMB AS A ROCK and a f*cking slut. She preys on married men and is obsessed with getting married. Psycho bitch that obsesses over old boyfriends that are now married. She is a dirty Mormon slut. She is from American Fork, Utah, but currently lives in the Los Angeles area.

If your modeling shoot is on a picnic blanket then you should probably look for another job.- nik



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Annoying Couple JC Squared

March 5, 2010 Portland, Salt Lake City, The Dirty, Utah 23

JC squared

JC squared

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is JC and Jacey from Salt Lake City. They think just because they have the same name that they are cute, which obviously they are not! She is the biggest ditz ever, and together they are even worse. She thinks sticking out her fake +2′s gets her places, but please! Someone should have pointed out her pig nose and she should have gotten a rhinoplasty before the boob job. Luckily they are moving soon, good luck Portland, you’re next to experience JC squared.

I say it a million times- NOSE JOB before BOOB JOB, but you cannot have one without the other.- nik



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Felony Melanie

March 4, 2010 Dirty DUI, San Francisco, Utah 11

Felony Melanie

THE DIRTY ARMY: This is mel hol**’s 3rd appearance on your site. This time the stink, x-mormon, sl*t acquired a sweet DUI/Hit and Run on her record over the past summer…i think she needs a mayjor intervention. Nik, what are your thoughts?’

I think it’s a shame she is bringing the red cup down as she crash and burns.- nik



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Fugly Dirt Bag

February 26, 2010 Chicago, Utah 17

Fugly Dirt Bag

Fugly Dirt Bag

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this girl Kelsey is so mean to every other girl. She puts other people down to try to make herself feel better about her scummy (fake blonde hair) look. She deserves all the bad karma in the world for how much shit she has talked about EVERYONE. Sorry Kelsey, just because you moved to Utah doesn’t mean the people there will like you anymore than us Chicagoans. You’re a dumb bitch and I hope you’re enjoying having everyone (including your best friends) turn on you.

That dog is more visually appealing than her.- nik



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Bill Gates Fist Pumpin At Sundance

January 26, 2010 Salt Lake City, The Dirty, Utah 44

bill-gates-attends-onitsuka-tiger-presents-john-legend-and-the-roots-at-bing-afterhours-copy

bill-gates-attends-onitsuka-tiger-presents-john-legend-and-the-roots-at-bing-afterhours-fd-copy1

bill-gates-attends-onitsuka-tiger-presents-john-legend-and-the-roots-at-bing-afterhours-v-copy

bill-gates-attends-onitsuka-tiger-presents-john-legend-and-the-roots-at-bing-afterhours-fff-copy

THE DIRTY ARMY: (celebrityclubber.com) Hey Nik, I guess everyone wants to be a guido these days, Check out these pics of Bill Gates getting down

Yeah I was at Sundance that night.  Bill Gates was doing more then just fist pumping, he must be a huge Jersey Shore fan (wife check?).- nik



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