THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, No words. Please tell her to STOP spray tanning! She is neon.
I actually think she needs to go darker… she is in that weird in-between orange phase.- nik
THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is Kelsey Lee. She is from Salt Lake, but was on the Rock of Love Bus last year. She walks around like she is the hottest thing in Utah, when in fact, everyone thinks she is a total train wreck. It must be hard being the laughing stock of Salt Lake? oh and your ex shows everyone that sex video you guys made.
Hey Ex send me the video… I doubt there is one, she looks Mormon.- nik
THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik this is Nikki. And if you couldn’t tell from her nappy hair, retarded bimbo look, and if you give it a closer look her tramp stamp. This girl sleeps around with at least 3 guys who have girlfriends and who knows how many without.
Answer: No, she has stretch marks on her saggers and it only gets worse from there.
THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I was thinking you should send out an official request to your army to begin sending in the dirt so we can see what this years freshman have to offer. Let College Season Begin???
Attention all college students, are you in a gay frat? Do you have a roommate who doesn’t shower? Do you know a new freshman who does the walk of shame as many times as they play “tonight is a good night”? The world needs to know and TheDirty.com is open for business. Studying is overrated… be my friend, it is cooler.- nik
Lets get a jump on College Season and Submit Your Dirt Here
If you don’t see your school just email me to add it. Freshman 15 for life!
THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik – I went to high school with the dbag in the Assliction shirt, Drew. In high school we put up with him because he always bought the booze. Now that’s he’s working for his dad’s company, he twitts all day and night about how great his latest vacation suite is… despite the fact that nobody cares. Not only is he a raging douche, he claims straight when everyone knows he’s for the gays. This guy needs to be put on blast!
Drew, now you know everyone hates you. Next.- nik
THE DIRTY ARMY: So…I think you need some Salt Lake City celebrities. Utah folks always say the hottest people come from Salt Lake. Not saying that is true…but there are definetely some people who fit right in with your celebs from other towns. I will probably have to send a couple emails to show you more of the Salt Lake Crew.First we have Jennie Lee – She is Salt Lake City’s version of G-Girl…way overdone and at the clubs every night of her life. Her occupation is VIP Host and Model. She is “dating” a different Salt Lake City celeb every other month…and she basically gets paid to go to clubs and take pics with people. If you want Salt Lake drama, just follow Jennie Lee.
They have clubs in SLC? I thought Utah was all about cults and rabbit sex. Looks like the DIRTY ARMY can infiltrate anywhere.- nik
THE DIRTY ARMY: Beginning on July 1, Utah is reforming its woefully outdated liquor laws in an attempt to both enter the 21st century and woo much-needed tourism revenue. Totaling 187 pages of legalese, the overhaul comes in two parts and will help break down the state’s notorious “Zion Curtain”:
A: Like the rest of the nation, mixed drinks throughout the state will now contain 1.5 oz of liquor as opposed to a mere 1 oz of liquor.
B: More importantly, bars will no longer have to be “private clubs” in order to serve customers. Previously, drinkers had — yes, it’s true — to fill out an application and pay a fee in order to be served in a bar. Hence — wink, wink — members of a club.
How hard was that? Next will be Gay Marriage and then maybe in 17 years Iran might see freedom?- nik