THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I have spent most of my life living in the rural Midwest. However I will soon be moving across the country to southern Florida to pursue a Master’s Degree. I can’t WAIT to get the f*ck out of this Hillbilly Hell-Hole. This has got to be the most bass-ackwards region of the country there ever was!!! When I look around me and see 95% of the population with nothing more than a 10th grade education and perfectly content to be willfully ignorant of anything that’s going on in the world around them other than hunting, getting drunk, and watching Nascar, all I can think is “F*******CK!!! THIS is the reason why our country is going down the toilet so fast—because half of our nation’s population is a bunch of retarded rednecks!! It’s no wonder why all these foreign countries are leaving us in the dust when it comes to education and industry!!” After having spent so many years living in this armpit region, every little thing about it just rubs me the wrong way and is getting on my last nerve. I’m sick of being surrounded by people who wear nothing but flannel and camouflage clothes, are missing half their teeth, and talk like Larry the Cable Guy or that Boomhauer character from “King of the Hill”. I’m sick of sticking out like a sore thumb wherever I go just because I like to wear heels and pant suits instead of camouflage coats and boots. I’m sick of being considered “uppity” and “abnormal” just because I’m highly educated and can financially support myself without having to cling to a man. I can’t wait to live in a place where having an education is considered a GOOD thing and where I won’t be considered a “dried-up spinster” just because I didn’t get married and start pumping out kids by age 20. I have heard from people who live in south Florida that rushing to get married and pop out kids as early as possible is something that the people there strive NOT to do. Instead, they enjoy their single life and freedom, and in south Florida there is no shame in not having someone attached to your hip 24/7 as opposed to here in the Midwest where the women can’t survive without constantly having a man to cling to. I’m not kidding, Nik, where I come from it is extremely common for two people to meet and then rush to get married A MONTH later. The cycle goes like this: Meet someone new, start clinging to them, get married at the courthouse a month later, get pregnant ASAP, get divorced a year later, meet someone new a few weeks later, repeat process. They’ll complete this cycle over and over until they’ve been married multiple times in only a few years and have a bunch of kids by different exes. And THIS is what I’m “supposed” to strive for in life? No thank you!!! I’m more than ready to live in a region where I won’t look out of place walking down the street in high heels and a dress and where enjoying your life and building up your education and career BEFORE you settle down and have kids is a valuable trait. Once I’m out of here, I never want to see or hear camouflage clothing, country western music, the phrases “Git ‘Er Done!” or “Yee-haw!!”, or seventeen year old wives & mothers ever again!! And I know some people reading this are going to get offended and call me a stuck-up snob. Well you know what?? They’re absolutely right…I AM a stuck-up snot. I never intended to be one, but when you have spent your entire life living amongst ignorant white trash with no class or ambition while you have constantly strive to be the best you can be, it can take its toll on you really fast!! I’ve had all I can take of this region. On my Moving Day, I won’t have enough middle fingers to flip off to this place as I’m leaving. Good f*cking riddance!
I can’t see the family in the picture?? Where did they go?- nik