The Black Guy In Starbucks

November 13, 2013 Austin, The Dirty 481

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I’m sorry but Starbucks is totally racist. The whole thing reads “The Black Guy in Starbucks”. This is not a joke either. I have always told people that Starbucks hates our kind. They are always trying to push us to McDonalds. They act like they are so high brow.

That is messed up.- nik

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Bring Her Back To Earth

November 6, 2013 Austin, Would You? 39

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, what do you think of this chick? Her name is Holly, she thinks she is hot shit, puts down other people, thinks she is hot shit, on a still lives with her mommy. She is a hairdresser, of course, and did one fitness competition but you know, now she is a world class athlete. Would you?

Answer: No, I’m not into the bottom-heavy trend.

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Am I Wasting My Time

November 2, 2013 Austin, The Dirty 80

THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, please help me out! This girl goes by the name Aubree Simpson on FB. We talk everyday via FB, texting and over the phone but after some recent pics she posted I think shes another catfish! Her page says she resides and works in Redding, CA but she posted recent pics of herself graduating from University of Texas at Austin? When I asked her about it she avoids my questions. Here are some of her “friends/family”. Anyone know these girls because she doesnt tag anyone either??? PLEASE Nik, post her pics so I can find out if she’s real or am I just wasting my time.

Always crop ladies. Focus on the upper body like the first image… works better for Catfishing purposes.- nik

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Most Ratchet Dude in Austin

October 31, 2013 Austin 11

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this dude is Jonathon Ross Kimbrell a.k.a. “Ian Jacques.” He is the craziest asshole I have ever met. Before I met him he was dating a HUGE slut who would do it anytime, anywhere. ‘Ol girl got caught fcking behind a grocery store, behind her school, in the back of a car, and she was caught fcking Ian in the bathroom at the park! It makes sense seeing that Ian is a poor fck who lives in a group home, so it’s not like he can afford a hotel room! Ian complains that his slore of a girlfriend has a “sour vagina” and that she “never cleans herself” but that does not stop him from running when she calls! The elevator obviously doesn’t go all the way to the top because he can’t spell, write, and read worth a shit. He can’t even count money! That doesn’t stop him from trying to manipulate people into feeling sorry for him by coming up with crazy-ass stories! He met a gorgeous Black girl from Atlanta over four months ago (she has moved to Brooklyn since then, so I’ve heard) and Ian’s crazy ass tried to wife her three days after they met! ATL girl got away from him because he lied to her CONSTANTLY and she always catch him in a lie because he is too stupid to cover his own ass! She also said that dude told her that he thinks he’s a “vampire” and that he “ate a bunny rabbit” when he was a kid! That’s when ATL’s dad told her to pack her shit and move to San Antonio, then she went on to see her fam in Brooklyn a few months after that. I certainly wasn’t suprised when ATL told me that Ian does not bathe, brush his teeth, wash his clothes, etc. She refused to kiss him and had to make him brush his teeth. WOMEN OF AUSTIN: STAY AWAY FROM THIS DUDE!!!

That’s the most un-gothly goth I’ve ever seen.- nik

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Playmate Valerie Mason Is Pregnant

October 30, 2013 Austin, The Dirty 35

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, playmate Valerie Mason is pregnant! She’s already got a huge bump. I remember her dating Addison Scaglione but that seems to be in the past now. The last time I saw her around was working in a bar in her hometown a few weeks ago and now all of a sudden I hear that she’s pregnant. Didn’t even know she was dating someone. Gosh who is the father!?

Yeah, who is the father?- nik

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The wanna be Barbie

October 29, 2013 Austin 79

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Check this skank out! She claims to run a respectable go-go troupe (but who are we kidding, who calls themselves a go-go and is respectable?) but really she’s just another girl doing what she can to get by. Here are some photos a group of us have all received from her, we’ve come together to warn others of her antics.

That white sheet in confusing me.  Is this supposed to be some kind of photoshoot…- nik

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Deadbeat Mother

October 29, 2013 Austin 7

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik this is Brittney Nicole White she is a deadbeat mom and she uses abuses people especially her boyfriends. She dated my close friend for about a month and told my close friend she was pregnant and tried to pin the pregnancy on my close friend and wanted him to pay for the abortion when all along the baby wasn’t his, my close friend also took care of her 4 month old son bought him formula and everything else he needed, because she was too lazy to get the actual help she needed to take care of her own kid instead of taking from his kid, he supported her nasty ass habits like smoking and taking pills while she is pregnant, he bought her a phone (that her drug headed baby daddy sold it for drugs). She just got out of jail because she got pulled over and her baby daddy was a fugitive and so they took her in to jail as well, god only knows where her 4 month old child was. She then called my close friend to give her a ride from jail after he not only cleared his bank account out but tried to claim a child was his when they both knew the baby wasn’t his. A few years ago my close friend had gotten into some legal stuff and Nicole had to write a police report and she said “they took it to Shawn and Kenneth’s house” she threw my close friend under the bus which is why the lawyer told my close friend that it was a police report against him. When she was also at my close friends house she would leave her 4 month old in the car seat and he slept in there and stayed in there all day everyday while Nicole slept all day and was doped up on Vicodin, or the poor child would be cooped up in the carseat screaming while her ass was outside smoking like a freight train while need i remind you she is pregnant. She also tried to tell my best friend that she (Nicole) was a better mother to my best friends son (my close friend’s girlfriend of 7 years after Nicole had left the picture)when she didn’t even have her own child at the moment and the only reason she was around the boy is because she was mooching off of the family. She also has a daughter that is about 3 from another guy and she doesn’t have custody of her and rarely see’s her.

Sounds like entrapment.- nik

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Someone Please Pop Jen Wilkes Giant Ego

October 28, 2013 Austin, Hollywood 26

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, someone has to burst Jen Wilkes bubble and help her come down to earth. She is a facebook model who won Miss Social Network and Playboy Miss Social and has found a little success as a background extra in NBC’s The Revolution where ironically she plays a heroin addicted prostitute. She is charging $45 for a $5 dollar poster with her signature on it. She used to be such a nice girl and in the past year has turned into a product of the internet modeling game. She has no time for her fans anymore and we are the ones who made her who she is today. It’s really upsetting that she can just forget about all the support we have given her and now wants us to pay a way over blown charge for a poster. Why do girls like this think that they can play us all. She is 30 years old and just starting in the industry. Poor girl is going to flop soon. She still lives at her parents house and has a sugar daddy named Greg Hale footing her bill for her career. She has even changed her girl next door look that we all loved her for. Total sell out. SO disgusting =( As a fellow female model I hope other girls don’t follow this trend she is making us all look bad. She is stuck up and forgot where she came from. She doesn’t even have time for her personal “friends” anymore.

Fans? You mean the ones that blow wind in your face.- nik

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