Austin | Nik Richie + Dirty Army intel, opinions, gossip, satire, and celebrities - Part 10

Luling Terran Oakes

April 3, 2014 Austin, Texas 0

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik this be Terran Oakes the biggest man whore in Luling tx 830 he be fuking every bitch I know in the hood or any bitch he meet at the club, frm what I heard he gots a little pipi and don’t ever satisfy the females, he has c***ia and drd just thought I would let u know before u let him hit it

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Austin, Be Warned of Luna Mayflowers

April 2, 2014 Austin, Kansas City 40

THE DIRTY ARMY: LOOK OUT AUSTIN, TEXAS! I have recently received word that this world class fraud is on the move again and this time TO OUR BEAUTIFUL CITY! After being successfully run out of Tampa, and Kansas City she is now headed here! Her real name is Harley Kapp, but she goes by “Luna Mayflowers”. She claims to be some peaceful enlightened bohemian but she is actually a pathological liar and a fake. She voluntarily works as a stripper and then she’ll cry rape when any douche bag slips a dollar in her disgusting crotchet panties. She abuses her animals. Her first dog ran away because she didn’t take care of it and then she got another dog, which after a few weeks of shamelessly flaunting it on social media, it mysteriously “ran away” as well. She claims to pay her own bills yet we all know her grandmother gave her a credit card, which Miss Luna uses to buy alcohol, pot, and crystals for her shitty jewelry. She had to pay for a majority of her Instagram followers because in reality no one wants to see her nude pictures and her crappy crotchet clothes that she tries to sell. Oh yes, and, she claims to be some “dread headed goddess” yet her hair is completely fake. If you took the weave out her hair is fried and probably about two inches long. This girl is the ultimate fake. My people in Kansas City are glad that they finally ran her out of there and everyone that knows who she truly is is sick of her having a huge ego and thinking she’s some super angel feminist martyr. She moves to a new city and changes her entire existence to fit it. For instance, when she moved to Kansas City she was claiming to be some type of burlesque performer, until that flopped and all of the burlesque teams declared her a laughing stock. And now, she’s moving to Austin and claiming to be a hippie princess. Don’t be fooled by this dirty trollop fellow Austinittes. GO BACK TO THE HOLE FROM WHENCE YOU CAME!

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Kelley (Dye) Graves

March 26, 2014 Austin 57

THE DIRTY ARMY: Well say hello to Kelley Graves, mother of 3. She claims to be married, but her man is NEVER home. She goes to Walmart and steals so she can boost whatever she stole to support her Vicodin and M*th habit. She lives in the the worst Trailer park in Austin,lol, her poor girls are soo over weight, the 6 yr old looks like she needs a bra, sad,NEGLECT!!! the other has knock knees due to weight barring on her knees. The dead beat mom loves to harass people on FB, she doesnt even own a PC, uses her phone ALL the time.Makes different accounts to harass a chic she is in love with, pretty sad. Her mom wont even take her in to leave her druggy hubby, she cried about how she has to rectify her convictions(jail)and get stable to leave her man and get a job to support her kids and drugs,she drives around with no license and once got pulled over with vicodin on her, she thought she was going to jail LOL.. put this 200 lb heffer on blast Nick, no kids deserve to live the life they do

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Aja Walters Valley Rat

March 21, 2014 Austin 35

THE DIRTY ARMY: nik. This is drag queen look alike Aja Walters from Mcallen Texas. She is a local stinky stripper who screws and blows guys outside Stilettos in the parking lot for $20. I know this for a fact because i work w her. And omg she does this w up to 5 discusting men 5 times everytime she goes to work… She has a slut as mom and sisters, from all different fathers even her own kids are from different fathers all 3 of them.. And she lives to steal panties from walmart.. She got caught twice.. And she goes out w the ugliest guys around.. Thats how low her self esteem is too.. She stuffs her face and throws up.. Also this gils breath always smells like ass.. Probably because thats what she does for cash… She need save her dollars for std treatment.. This goes to show how getting breast implants can make even the ugliest chicks look acceptable… And her boobs arevrose full of stretchmarks!!

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Not Pregnant Cheater

March 21, 2014 Anchorage, Austin 34

THE DIRTY ARMY: Allyson Wilbur you are a damn liar and I should’ve listened to what everybody said about you. This girl out of Anchorage, Alaska decides she wants to go ahead and fake a pregnancy when I break up with her. I had broken up with her when I found out she isn’t smarter than a fifth grader and she lies about damn near anything. She decides to tell me that she is pregnant shortly after by telling me she went to the doctors and that he did a blood test. She had the paperwork I said let me see the paperwork and she kept dodging me for three days until I finally found her and confronted her. She told me the “Paperwork” was at a friends house and that she didn’t have to pee when I told her I had a pregnancy test for her to take. Well during this time she had been telling people she was on single mom status, that I am a douche bag and that I was a complete asshole to her. Well Allyson Wilbur here ya go you wanna make me out to be the bad guy and you wanna call me a douche. Here is your receipt to FakeaBaby.[] and here are your messages to multiple different people telling them you are pregnant and how much of a douche I am. You knew that I was dealing with a lot of family drama and still during that whole time you wanted to continue this charade. Now to the people that are saying that I am a douche and that I am an asshole you’re probably right. I probably am but I did give her the chance to come clean and tell everybody the truth before I went this far. I told you you could change your status on your Facebook for one week telling everybody you faked the pregnancy to get attention and that you want to apologize to me in this way. I asked you keep that status for a week and then it would all be over instead you blocked me and blocked a couple of other people thinking it would be over. Tah Dah bitch. Tah Dah.

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Unfit Toni Morado

March 20, 2014 Austin 4

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik this animal is name Toni morado you can’t really tell if she’s a guy or girl, she likes to claim she’s a good mother and is constantly saying she misses her two kids that got token away from her cuz she don’t know how to watch over them she spends all night working at different strip clubs and fckn different guys for money she says she “independent” but thats no way to live life with a job like that get real sweety your a slut, she meets different guys and instantly falls in love the use her then leave her so she always posting status about how they leave and when will she meet a real man like if anyone wants this dog. Maybe if you didn’t spend your whole day sleeping, eatin, and actully took a shower you’d find a good man not no wanna be thugs, and instead of going to clubs and Austin with your hoe friends you should visit kids for once cuz every time you have an appointment to see them you make an excuse when you should be makin excuse to your friends instead but then that just goes to show you who really matter to you..

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Jen Wilke Actually Has Fans

March 19, 2014 Austin, The Dirty 171

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, what do you think about models and wish lists?  Girls being spoiled by their “fans” to get what ever they want. Remember the days when girls had to actually spread their legs to get gifts? Jen Wilke is back doing her buy me something and I will shoot in it scam which last year I fell for and never saw my gift in any photo shoots. The other day she posted on her page “Wouldn’t I look cute in this” and with in 3 days received over $1000 in “gifts” for doing what?  Nothing! People all over the country are starving living on the streets begging for change so they can eat and stay warm while this girl just has to post on facebook to get a new wardrobe. It makes me sick. What is wrong with people out there. Who spends money on people they don’t know and what do they get out of it. A picture dedicated to them? Some people live really sad lives. Where is her sugar daddy when she needs him? This girl used to post sob stories about her and how poor her family is and now all she does is post pictures and updates for expensive locations. The online modeling scene is very profitable if you know how to hustle your fans and this girl is very good at what she does. I will not be impressed though until she has guys buying her a face lift and new boobs. When will this girl learn that if you can’t support your clothing obsession on your own then maybe you need to find a better paying line of work. Maybe try escorting or posing naked and you can buy all this stuff on your own. She has her supporters eating out of her money hungry hands and even got them to buy parts for her brothers car. Her fans need to wake up and smell the roses instead of sending her bouquets of material possessions.

I don’t get it… she’s not even hot. 4.8892729 at best.- nik

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Needs To Be Institutionalized

March 15, 2014 Austin 5

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is Jennifer Catcott. Isnt she just damn beautiful? In an 80 year old man with hair kind of way. Bitch needs anger management and therapy but even that wouldnt fix her chemical imbalances. Her fb work status is- teaches Sexy, not Slutty 101, If thats not the most hypocritical thing ive ever heard. Since when is going out to raves and rolling tits wearing literally ZERO pants and working at Headhunterz sexy and not slutty? She “raps”. She treats her family and friends like shit & is insanely jealous of every other female out there. Calling people fat is her favorite form of insult. HAH. She started out as a pudgy lesbian who lost 5 whole pounds being a drug addict and now things she is the hottest thing to walk this earth. She has no doubt that she can pull any man. Saying shes a drama queen is the understatement of the year, if shes upset everyone in a 5 mile radius will know. She has tucked and rolled out of cars on many occasions to avoid any conversation, breaking bones twice. She will talk all this hot shit about fighting your mom and then puss out and hide behind her f*ck buddies. She weasels her way into relationships only for the dude to find out how annoying her constant baby talk and temper tantrums are. She blames her crazy on a boy who, to no surprise, she still f*cks on the reg! Being a booty call and letting him f*ck her on random peoples floors must really boost her confidence. She preaches class but lets any and all gregs slip right in her loose cooch. Dont be her friend, she’ll show up at your house at 4 a.m. screaming and banging her head in your front door saying PLEASE LOVE ME!. made a false police report saying 4 men “disintegrated her tires” to pull her car over then beat the living sh*t out of her for no reason. But no she tried to hustle drugs and lost. Then, after literally having the dog shit beat out of her, she went straight to her junkie dildo loving boyfriend’s and took more drugs instead of straight to the hospital? Compulsive liar. Word of advice, STOP ACTING LIKE YOUR SH*T DONT STINK. Get off your high horse until you learn not to open your legs to every dude who passes you by. Here is your wake up call Jenna, stop treating people like sh*t. Do you know why people dont take you seriously? Its because you are the fakest of the fake and we all see right through it. If you dont want your dirty laundry aired, how about washing that shit in the first place! Youre like every other wanna be hipster/raver/slut/thing. I hope you read this, realize how crazy you sound on paper, and make some real changes cause you are unbearable. Sketchball Jenna is the most amazing, humble, and enlightened person in the universe, is better than you, has better tattoos than you, and loves herself. do you love her and her set of dentures Nik?

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