Austin | Nik Richie + Dirty Army intel, opinions, gossip, satire, and celebrities - Part 2

Sarah Faye Wilson

October 26, 2014 Austin 8

THE DIRTY ARMY: nik this fcking fat nasty doubled chin worhless peace of shit from Round rock Texas, thinks she is hot shit, problem is she stinks really bad and you can’t really tell where tits begin and her belly starts, but yet she clowns on people constantly and her fat ass works for this place called torchy’s tacos, smashing food by the hand fulls drooling like a rabid beast, the most pathetic thing is that she must of been born in a barn cause she talk like a backwards hillbilly. Stay clear from Sarah Faye Wilson she will infect you with her gangrene canker sore mouth, she looks like the Michelin man with pink hair. Plus her hairy snatch is filled with nasty eating cra**. BEWARE!!!!

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Richard Herrera

October 22, 2014 Austin 5

THE DIRTY ARMY: Chubby chasing forgy.  Your typical one night squeeze.

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Tara Rich

October 15, 2014 Austin 16

THE DIRTY ARMY: Tara Rich is a bipolar skank. She has been shitcanned from every strip club in the ATX because she gets stoned/drunk and goes off on people. Of course she will be nice and sweet at first. Wait. She will go off on you, punching and kicking and then call the cops ON YOU! ATX cops take you away! Tara will feed you some bullshit about how she just passed the real estate exam. Don’t buy that line of shit. Of course she looks hot; she will make you take her out to dinner and shows and then won’t put out. Avoid this skank like the plague.

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Hector Velasquez

October 14, 2014 Austin 5

THE DIRTY ARMY: This is Hector Velasquez- a creepy, ugly 30 or 40 something from Austin who prowls 6th street looking for drunk young girls to fuck. I first met him at a bar on dirty sixth when I was 18 and he tried wooing me with cheap drinks and some stupid story about how he bought his BMW in cash, he even flashed me the keychain to prove his story. Someone needs to tell him BMWs aren’t Ferraris. The guy not only has two DWIs but also sells shitty, low-grade coke and -if you’re a lucky young drunk girl- will try to lure you back to his house in the promise of free coke. He tries so hard to be one of Austin’s in-crowd and will brag about himself to you nonstop- how he only dates models, and rides million dollar horses, and knows Skrillex- when in reality, he’s just an old drug dealer with a criminal record and a history of fcking girls and their moms. A real catch.

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Dealership Sloot

October 7, 2014 Austin 7

THE DIRTY ARMY: Let me introduce you to Krista Apley Pearce. The local dealership whore for a large import dealership in south austin. She has slept with more than 5 mechanics from this large dealership. 2 of the 5 men have been married. She has told several guys she enjoys having different men at the same time. They have nick named her the Chupacabra. She shows no remorse for her actions. Not only is she a huge slut she is a bad mother. She doesn\’t have custody of her child and to be honest it probably is best because this child now has a fighting chance to not grow up and becoming a slut like her mother. Krista has introduced her daughter to multiple men in her life and that poor child is confused as to who her mom is dating. After sleeping with each guy she tries to get them to move in with her to help her pay her bills but so far has not been lucky enough to get anyone to do it. All these stupid johns who fall for her at least have some sense of smarts to them. When the guys refuse or then leave her because they realize she is cheating on them or that she is just a plain dirty whore she tries to manipulate them by telling them she is going to kill herself just to make them stay. PLEASE IF ANYONE SEES HER AT THE DEALERSHIP OR ANYWHERE ELSE STAY AWAY FROM THIS CRACK HEAD LOOKING WHORE.

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Austin’s Next Top Model

October 3, 2014 Austin 45

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik – this is Haley Tidwell from Austin, Texas. She’s been trying to blow up in the modeling industry since she was in high school and even started a facebook public figure page to get her name out there. If anyone needs a model for a shoot or for a portfolio you can book her. I think she should be the next dirty celeb. What do you think?

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Is Jen Wilke For Real

September 28, 2014 Austin, The Dirty 354


THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, can you please blast Jen Wilke for being ignorant and stuck up? This girl is only where she is because of her sugar daddy Greg Hale is paying her way for her. She needs a reality check and get an education or something because she is going to be 31 soon with out any career and her daddy warbucks isnt going to be there forever.

‘Being in the public eye’ — who are you?- nik

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Joey Christoforo Is A Scam Artist

September 26, 2014 Austin, The Dirty 29

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, need to tell you about this Austin, Texas FRAUDSTER Joey Christoforo. I sold him 2 tickets to the Mayweather Fight via an online site. Thought all was well until I got a call today from said site saying when Joey went to go pick up the tickets from the Will Call window the tickets were not there. I had sent them a week before…I know they were there. Something smells fishy. Since these sites tend to believe anything buyers say, I have to prove myself innocent. 1st thing anyone with a brain does is google the person, I did and up pops his Facebook, and what is on his Facebook? Oh a PICTURE of the tickets I sold his lying ass!!! And for good measure a video of him at the fight. What a f*cking moron. The site is paying me but he will most likely get away with it unless you guys help. Joey you tried to con me out of over 1k…….karma is coming back for you. Nik, what should I do here? Call up his boss and let him know he has a thief working for him? Any other ideas? PS. It should come as no surprise that one of the pages he likes on Facebook is Fake Equis.

Great… now I feel like a loser for owning the same Hurley board shorts.- nik

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