I Am The Lighter King’s Mystery Girl

April 23, 2013 Boston 3

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, looks like I Am The Lighter King aka Dave Kimball has found his next plaything. A few posts on his facebook page recently show him with another new sk*nk. Is this Jen Wilkes replacement? Who posts pictures like this on your business page anyway?

Someone looks cracked out.- nik


The Lighter King Should Burn

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Boston Marathon Proof

April 22, 2013 Boston, The Dirty 204

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, here’s the proof. Aside from the family guy episode and the overt amount of security (bomb sniffing dogs) as eyewitnesses have stated. Isn’t this the clearest proof that something fishy’s going on? Ex-Navy seals Blackwater undercovers minding an asset(patsy) and another placing the second backpack? What’s going on Nik?

Looks like it was EX-Patriot day.- nik

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BREAKING NEWS: 9-11 Part 2 In Boston

April 15, 2013 Boston, The Dirty 304

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, what the hell?  I think 9-11 part 2 just happened at the Boston Marathon.  Where the finish line was, two bombs exploded.  Many people are injured, but nothing has been confirmed.  They are making sure they were bombs and not gas or generator explosion.  This world is going to end very soon, people are insane.

Everyone please don’t jump to conclusions. I don’t want another war.- nik

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Ashley Alexiss Is Bigger Than Ever

March 15, 2013 Boston, The Dirty 169

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, Ashley Alexiss has gotten huge. No, I’m referring to how famous she thinks she is for sitting on her fat ass and pandering for votes so she can play model. I’m talking about how fat she is. She was always a big girl, but lately she’s taking it to an extreme. She calls herself  “curvy,” but without the hours of photoshop the only photographer willing to shoot with her puts in, you can there’s no curve there – just fat and comically large fake tits. She should really avoid posting videos of herself, because it’s the only time her “fans” can see how massive she really is.

Ashley try this [Click here to get your GCBx], your hair color has potential… you just need to lose 46 pounds.- nik

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Is Elvira Back To Dime Status

March 13, 2013 Boston, Elvira, The Dirty 63

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I need a rating of Elvira on the Nik Richie Scale. Not sure what color hair you call that, but the overall package is reflecting back to her Smoke Patrol days. DA Strong 100.

Is that really Elvira? I always said she needed to be blonde. If I had to be accurate, I would say she is a solid 7.59927191 in this image.- nik

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The Lighter King Should Burn

March 9, 2013 Boston, The Dirty 148

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, after reading a few posts about Jen Wilke and her sugar daddies I did some research and have to say Dave Kimball looks like a big fat joke. He has made a business making cigarette lighters for models. He thinks he is the king of lighter making. Get a real job. It’s not cool pretending you are something to hang out with models. Not like he ever hooks up with them. I wonder how many free lighters he gives out to get the chicks to party with him. He is a freak to the max. His lighter king page on facebook is filled with pictures of weird toys and hopeful facebook models. You can only feel bad for this guy but feel worse for the ladies who fall for his game. You can only laugh at his style it’s like rap rock threw up yesterdays trend. He even wrote a corny ass song for Miss Wilke that must been seen. He has no talent. I can see why Jen kicked him to the curb for a better prospect.

This is the dunkin donuts version of a 30k Millionaire.- nik


Update On Sugar Baby Jen Wilke

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Elvira’s Nose Needs To Get Redone

March 3, 2013 Boston, Elvira, The Dirty 26


THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, you are the expert on this so I will ask the master. My girlfriends and I were having a girls wine night and we decided to troll Elvira because that’s what we girls do stalk beautiful women haha. Anyway, we noticed her 3rd nose job wasn’t all that. Check out the tip of her nose Nik. We thought we would asked you if Elvira should go round 4 on that honker?

I can’t get past the rusty armpits (pick a better filter next time). The only thing that Elvira needs fixing is her +2′s, stop messing with your face.- nik

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Trust Fund Baby, Escort or Legit Success

February 18, 2013 Boston, Hollywood 62


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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I need some help here. I recently came across this girl on Facebook who had quite a large following on a fan page but she never really posts anything. Her name is Melissa Anne Teixeira. I’d never heard of her before and wanted to know more about this girl AND why everyone was following, so I googled her. After sifting through about 30 pages of crap on google, I soon learned that this girl is on a whole other level than these fake wannabe troll internet “models”. This girl has actually done some high profile things in her career. Chicks been on Howard Stern, some crazy show called Hillbilly Handfishin’ worked with the UFC, played in that Lingerie football league, posed for Playboy THREE times, and has a BOAT LOAD of “celeb friends”. Jenna Jameson and Pauly Shore follow her on twitter, along with a train wreck of NFL players/criminals, some Playboy Playmates and some skeevers in Hollywood. The other night I saw a post on her “fan page” to send her a friend request, because she had opened a page for friends to get a more personal glimpse into her life. I added it. After I did, I soon realized that we had some mutual friends in common; one of them was my college roommate. The two of them seemed to know one another pretty well so I called him up and asked. Evidently he went to high school with this chick (Catholic school but of course!). He told me that apparently she is a “millionaire” that came from a shit whole ghetto and was so dirt poor growing up that her own classmates had to buy her family food! He says that she now owns something like 7 car dealerships in the Boston area, and that she has all types of exotic cars, yachts, and even frequents to LA, the Caribbean & Hawaii on a G6!! He says that she lives in a huge ass mansion & sometimes throws elaborate parties for friends that consist of stripper poles, Patriots tickets, and trips all over the world. Speculation on a few vacation homes in Dominican Republic, LA, & Hawaii, as she’s been seen at these same homes numerous times. I thought my boy was trippin, until I actually saw some her post some sh!t while I was on the phone with my boy! She posted like 30 photos of her with random celebs, Tila Tequila, Vern Troyer, Kevin Bacon, there’s too many to list, and even one of her with a U.S senator! He says shes a really cool girl and she is quiet and down to earth & is very giving to others.

What is she looking at?- nik

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