THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, meet Br*ttany britters, shes is the local joke around Grand Rapids. This girl has been trying to be a model for so long and has only managed to make a website about herself. Whats funny is the photographers will take her money and her pictures but not post them on their own page. She used to be a gogo dancer. All the models in GR know who she is and all make fun of her. The real juice hit when her boyfriend (who shes obsessed with) left her for a much better looking younger girl (funny she has been put on the dirty too) Am*ren. He ended up getting that girl preggo and ran back to britters. Shes so obsessive now that went out and bought a fake engagement ring. And shes even more obsessed with the 19 year old than she is her boyfriend (which is scary if you knew how crazy she is when it comes to him). Whats really sad is the way she talks, look up brittany from Daria (the old MTV show). You tell me nik is she the next big thing. lol

You can’t hide those teeth forever.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I don’t even know where to begin with this one. Her name is Brandy Johnson. She lives in Saint Joseph, Missouri but she has lived around the Faucett and Agency areas. She is a piece of work and has slept with over 30 different men. How in the hell she can get all that action? I have no idea. Any man who willingly gets in bed with her ugly *ss, HAS to have something wrong with him. Besides the fact that she is completely and utterly unattractive (to say the least) ..she is an unfit mother. She has had DFS called plently of times. I honestly don’t know how she is still even able to see her children at all, considering she checks *herself* in and out of mental institutions in order to get medication.. (which she doesn’t take) and her ultimate goal — now she has actually recieved disability on herself. She’s living the good life. She’s STILL recieving child support for 2 of the 3 kids who haven’t lived with her in over 5 years. She recieves housing and food stamps as well.. She was working ‘under the table’ at one point in time. She blames everyone else for the problems that she has in life, never wants to take responsibly or get a job. She constantly uses people and everyone in the world is out to get her. She’s never going to grow up.. so I say hey, let’s at least put her on blast and let eveyone know about the true POS that she is!

She’s learned that she can support herself by having babies, careful you could be next.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, behold the ultimate group of wanna be celebrities. These are some of the dumbest girls to EVER have existed. The girls are Gina, Katie, Shannon, Lauren and Amanda. They are total bottle rats and think they’re hot sh*t. They all talk so much sh*t behind each other’s backs and only tolerate each other drunk, which they are all the time. My good friend’s boyfriend got some from Amanda once while drunk and regretted it.

Bacardi has been bringing bottle rats together for years.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I figured I’d give you an easy day at work to critique what may be one of Chicago’s “finest”: Carly. She moved to Chicago after leaving Central Michigan in hopes of being a small town girl that makes it big (at least in the Midwest). She’s a former stripper from Hustler Club. Her religious view is “Carlythology”, so I need not explain any further how full of herself she is. She frequently goes to the gym to meet bouncers and douches in an attempt to live vicariously through them as she’s a previous steroid user herself (probably has a Greg too) which resulted in a colectomy. She doesn’t look bad for being under 21… right?

I can tell Carl is trying to fight his way into this world. The male transformation must happen here. FREE CARL!- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik Would you with any of these lovely sun goddesses?

Nope, they should spend time running not tanning if they are trying to improve their looks.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik these girls are nasty bitches. So ugly and they think they’re really awesome. Please put them on blast because I think they are so sick and it will definitely bring a smile to my face. Thank you.

Why does everyone in Michigan look like men or animals, gross!- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik this girl has the biggest nose I have ever seen. She spreads disease!!! Watch out fellas! Nik, I already know you would NEVER, she is one of those girls yu have to see to believe! UGH ashley…you are so gross!

I don’t even think she could fit her nose in her mouth.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, Would you with any of these “hot” CMU girls?

Answer: No, all I see are thighs, and saggers.

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, I believe we have a repeat offender on our hands. This dale boy rolls around all the bars at Central Michigan telling the girls how hot they are, trying to spit game, but gets as much play as Stephen Hawking. This kid is always talking to girls, which is weird because he really loves gregs. I heard that he holds the Guiness World Record for gregs sucked in 1 hour with 31. If you don’t believe me, look at the picture above where he’s trying to give some dude a mouth hug. Put this clown on blast please.

31 Gregs? Your parents must be  so proud of you.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik can you please have a party here and bring some dirty girls. The only dirty girls we have are hideous fat and usually like multiple guys…All of which I am not cool with.

Her legs literally look like fat tree stumps. She would be the perfect person to take hunting because she would blend in with the forest.- nik